Winners and Losers
by Petite Sirene
Summary: In the world, there are both winners and losers, but at Rikkai Dai, only winners were allowed, and they were so tired of trying to be winners and failing. The pressure and the need to win overtook them and changed them, until the day they all decided to come back to the school that pushed them. RikkaiBoys/RikkaiOCGirls
1. walked away, and heard them say loser

A/N: Hello everyone! I've had this idea for this story for a really really long time now, and I've finally posted it! Yeah I know, new story, but this is pretty different from what I've done before. More drama/angst the likes. So please review and tell me what you think! This is like a sort of prologue by the way.

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><p><strong>Winners and Losers<strong>

_follow . me_

{taking lefts, then taking rights

how many right turns will take me up

i'm lost when on my own

but i'll find my way back home}

_till . we . can . reach . that . bright . place_

_._

_ "I can't take it anymore. I can't be here."_

_ "You're kidding me, you're not leaving are you?"_

_ "I can't stay here. Not this school, not this place."_

_ "What about the team? You can't just leave the team!"_

_ "This isn't the place for me. So take care of the team."_

_._

_ "Shiori left already! And I can't be here either. This is driving me crazy. They hate us here. They hate us, and we will never be able to gain their respect again, not without Shiori, and she's never coming back!"_

_._

_ "It's time for me to take my leave too. I'm sorry, but with everyone gone, we don't stand a chance anymore. Everyone at this school is a vulture."_

_._

_ "You're going to hate me, but there's no place for me here. There's no place for _us_ anymore. Things have started to go downhill, and you know it. We don't belong here. We can't stay because we're not like _them._"_

_._

_ "You're still going to have the first years. I can't stay here for another year. I'm leaving now, and I'm not going to wait til graduation. Everyone else left. Open your eyes, please. See that this is useless. We lost our place at this school months and months ago."_

_._

_ "You honestly can't keep living like this. I don't want to be here for another school year. They're going to destroy you, and you'll have nothing left. Even the captain left. Don't you understand that these people are not human. They're demons who only want to win."_

_._

Every night, she would replay their last words in her head. Their friendship wasn't strong enough to overcome the burden of being a winner, and the stress that came with it. Being a failure was not an option at that school, and they left because they couldn't take the rejection that came with failure. They couldn't live with the weight of everyone's expectations sitting on their shoulders. She couldn't stop them from leaving, even when she begged and pleaded. Their friendship was nothing more than weak bonds that disintegrated under the heavy expectations that was placed upon them.

Their words still played in her head.

.

_ "I'm moving to Tokyo and going to Hyotei."_

_ "I'll be going to school with my cousins in Osaka at Shitenhouji."_

_ "I know people will be angry, but I'm going to Seigaku."_

_ "This isn't a school for people like me, so I'm going to Fudomine."_

_ "You know I don't want to leave you, but I'm transferring to Yamabuki as soon as possible."_

_ "I've found a place where I belong. A place where I'm accepted no matter what. St. Rudolf."_

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><p>PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! :D<p> 


	2. lost when on their own

A/N: Hi everyone! I've been really super excited about this story, so I'm uploading another chapter soon!

I'm sorry, but this chapter is sort of sad, there's some comedy in it, but mostly it's what's expected. Of course, once the team gets back together, there will be more COMEDY and ROMANCE, but for now, it's just betrayal and rejection mostly. I hope you guys continue to read and like it!

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><p><strong>Winners and Losers<strong>

_ follow . me_

{vision's spotted white

needed pitch dark to see light}

_til . we . can . reach . that . bright . place_

The sky had always seemed a bit brighter around Rikkai Dai than it did anywhere else. The clouds never gathered over the buildings and the blueness of it seemed to be synthetic almost. It was like a fairy tale palace where nothing ever went wrong. It was the home of champions, and rain couldn't seem to break through.

Mori Etsumi (last name first) stared at the sky in wonder as her feet carried her closer to the building. Every year she witnessed the same brightness—whether it be from the middle school or the high school didn't make a difference. All of Rikkai Dai seemed to be lit up. She had seen the same building for five years, and every autumn when she returned to school, the sight would still surprise her. It was the aura of Rikkai that radiated from the buildings. The fact that Rikkai was a school for winners and that only winners were truly accepted there was what kept the school so beautiful yet unapproachable looking. Etsumi couldn't help feel the helplessness that came every year at the sight. The feeling that told her that at one point she didn't belong, and that if she wasn't careful she wouldn't belong.

Wearily, she forced herself through the school gates. No one was at school yet, the first day of school wasn't until the next day, but for the past week, she had been coming to Rikkai every day to her tennis team practices. All members of the team were required to come in a week early in preparation for the newcomers that would join, and every year, dozens would join, hoping to get a spot on the most famous team in Japan.

"Etsumi-chan!" a childish voice called.

Etsumi brushed her long, straight, brown hair behind one ear and turned around, seeing her friend Sasumi Asa. The young girl looked smaller than ever. Her short stature made her look like a kid, and the earnest expression on her face was that of a naïve child's. Asa's dark blond hair fell out of her bun as she ran to meet Etsumi.

"Etsumi!" Asa called again once she reached her. "Tomorrow's the first day of school!"

"Saa, I know. I'm nervous since I'm going to be a third year now. More will be expected of me to be a role model since I'll be a senior," Etsumi replied, closing her brown eyes for moment. A pained expression crossed her face as she remembered her third year at the Rikkai Middle School. That year, she had no one; everyone had left in the middle of their second year, and she was left behind, trying to support the girls' tennis team alone. Each new school year meant another year where she and her old friends made no contact and would continue to not make any attempts at reaching each other. They were weak that year, the team and their friendship.

"You're so lucky you'll be a second year," Etsumi commented. "It's going to be fun for you."

"Hopefully I'll make it as a regular this year," Asa happily replied. She never sensed the gloom that her friend always had the beginning of each school year.

The sound of tennis balls hitting rackets grew louder as the two reached the courts. It seemed that only the regulars were there that day. Without a doubt, everyone knew who the boys' team regulars would be. As the turned the corner, Etsumi saw the eight boys that she had seen and known since middle school. The same ones that had chased away any losers, and the ones who lost themselves in their third year to Seigaku. They had not accepted the second place trophy. They refused it and said that they would accept nothing other than first.

Yukimura turned around then and saw the two, giving each a friendly smile and wave. He stopped what he was doing to go over to them.

"Hello," was his greeting.

"Hi, Yukimura-san," Etsumi replied. Asa was too busy craning her head around him to get a good look at the training that the regulars did, and her face lit up when she saw them start to play practice matches against each other.

"Can I please please please watch the practice matches please?" Asa begged. She softly stamped her feet and clamped her hands together as she pleaded with Etsumi.

"Sure, but you should really ask Yukimura-san," Etsumi replied with a smile. Her helpless mood started to disappear at the sight of her oldest friend.

"Yukimura-senpai!" Asa spun on her feet to face him. "Can I please watch your practice matches? Please!" The earnest expression on her face grew fiercer as she asked the captain.

Yukimura restrained a chuckle as he agreed. Once Asa had dashed away to sit at the bleachers in front of the courts, he turned back to Etsumi. "Congratulations on becoming captain. You really deserve it after all of your hard work. I hope that you can lead the girls' team with us to the nationals."

Etsumi blushed slightly at his comment. "Thank you, I'm going to try my best to."

"When are you going to decide who the regulars are on your team?" Yukimura asked.

"Oh, well I was thinking of doing it in the next two or three days, but since only first years are coming in, I could do it tomorrow even since they can't be regulars yet anyways. What about you?"

"I've already decided, we held try outs last week for our current members. As expected, the regulars are still the same on my team."

"I'm sure the team will be just as wonderful."

Etsumi studied the boy before her. He was polite and cordial, but she remembered the way he treated her, the way he treated all of them when they lost at nationals, not even placing. His demeanor became cold, and he was what everyone called him: one of the three Demons of Rikkai.

"I was wondering, Mori-san," Yukimura said, "where is the rest of your team? It appears that they're late." He gave her a knowing smile and closed his eyes, challenging her to deny what he was clearly trying to say: _You're going to lose again. _

Etsumi couldn't deny him the fact. Half the girls on the team weren't serious about tennis, they only joined to oggle the boys. The other half was amazing good, though not as good as her old team. There was dissension in the team and none of the regulars liked each other. They made it to nationals and won first several times, but their team work was shoddy and they barely spoke to each other.

"They have no respect for you, Mori-san."

She almost said "I know", but saying that would admit to being a loser, and at Rikkai, that wasn't allowed.

.

Asa and Etsumi were jostled roughly as they made their way to the auditorium. Every year they had to assemble in the auditorium to hear a speech from the first year who scored the highest score on the entrance exam. The air of excitement killed Etsumi's former gloom and replaced it with a feeling of exhilaration. A new year was a clean slate, a fresh start.

"Eff my life," Asa gloomily said. Her bottom lip stuck out in a pout. "I hate these assemblies! I always fall asleep."

"It's not going to be that bad, Asa! It's the first day of school," Etsumi said.

Asa's bottom lip stuck out further at Etsumi's reply. "Can we at least go find the boy regulars? At least they'll make it fun."

Etsumi rolled her eyes at the younger girl's reaction but agreed nonetheless. They quickly pushed against other people to make it to where the boys were.

"Give me back my gum!" Marui shouted. He had Kirihara in a headlock and was almost rolling on the floor with him.

"I didn't take it Marui-senpai!" Kirihara choked out.

"You're such a fucking liar, Akaya. If you don't give me back my gum, then I'll have you doing suicides until the day you die!"

"Stop being crazy! I didn't take your gum!"

Off to the side a bit, Niou put his hand over his mouth to hide his laughter. His eyes twinkled wildly at the fight that was occurring.

"TARUNDORU!" A loud, booming voice resonated around the group, visibly shaking everyone.

Kirihara and Marui scrambled away from each other as Sanada came marching through with Yukimura and Renji on his tail.

"He can't hurt us," Marui whispered. "They don't allow slapping at the high school."

"But . . . at practice!" Kirihara whispered back. "I don't feel like dying from suicides just yet, and especially not from Sanada!"

Sanada came up to them, and they both quickly shut up. "This is no way for the regulars to behave on the first day of school," Sanada hissed. "At practice you will each run one hundred laps."

"But!"

"No excuses."

Sanada gave one last glare to the two before walking away with Yukimura and Renji, the former of the two waving at Etsumi and Asa before walking away.

"Yo, Bunta," Niou called to a deflated and sulking Marui.

Marui turned around, giving Niou an annoyed look. Niou put his hand in his pocket before pulling out a green packet of apple gum, throwing it at Marui before walking away with a "puri~" on his lips.

"He got us in trouble!" Marui stated. He turned to Jackal. "Did you see that? I have to run one hundred laps already and it's only been the first day!"

"It was your fault," Jackal agreed.

"I have an idea, Jackal! You can just run them for me!" Marui nodded his head vigorously at the idea. "I'll just get you a wig that looks like my hair and no one will even notice. It's a genius plan."

Jackal sighed wearily as Marui went off on his plan. None noticing the girls. The boys and girls weren't particularly friends, but they knew each other by face. Asa was the only one who even attempted to be friends with them, but Etsumi still felt rejected.

"Kirihara-san!" Asa called as she happily walked over to him.

"What?" Kirihara irritably asked. His curly hair shook when he turned his head away from Asa.

"I hope we're in the same class again!"

"Hmph!"

Asa opened her mouth in a smile to say something, but Kirihara rushed past her when the final bell rung, signaling everyone to report to the auditorium.

"Well that was a douche move," Etsumi muttered.

"He's not really like that all the time!" Asa argued. Her eyebrows puckered together to show her frustration. "He's not like some of the other guys. He's nice compared to them."

"And what about compared to the actual nice guys? He's a huge dick?"

"I just think that our teams should get along. I don't see why you and the others don't get along with them." Asa stared up at Etsumi through innocent eyes. She only vaguely understood the "winners only" philosophy of Rikkai.

Asa was prepared to argue more in defense of the guys team, but they had to separate to go sit with their classes. Etsumi was pushed forward and was forced to sit in the middle row of the third years.

"Miu-san—" a voice muttered.

Etsumi quickly turned her head around to locate the voice. She swore she heard someone say Shiori's last name. Her eyes darted from one person to another in search of the person mentioned, but the faces were all lost in the sea of bodies. She turned around again and slumped in her seat, unconsciously eavesdropping on the two girls beside her.

"I heard there are a lot of transfer students this year in our grade! I hope they're guys."

"I hope they're not bitches or bastards," the girl's friend replied bluntly.

The lights dimmed, and the stage lights turned on. Voices hushed as the principal stepped on stage. He adjusted his glasses and started, "Students of Rikkai Dai, I welcome most of you back for another year, and some of you for your first year. Our goal this year is to try and get every one of you to succeed in what you want. This is the year that we say good bye to some of our best students, and hello to students who will lead our school to the bright place called victory. This year, is our year to make amends with those who've hurt us and vice versa. This year, we are going to the top, and no one will be able to get in our way. As Rikkai students, you will be a part of this school community, and by being a part of our family, you are expected to do the best for this family. I expect no less than the best from any of you."

He stopped to wipe his glasses, signaling the end of his speech. The students enthusiastically clapped, whether they actually meant to or were forced to. The principal put his hand up in thanks, and the clapping slowly subsided.

"I know that traditionally we have a first year up here speaking," the principal boomed from his spot on stage, "but this year, we have a transfer student who scored highest on the entrance exam, and I'd like all of you to welcome her to Rikkai since this will be her senior year."

Voices in Etsumi's grade buzzed excitedly at the mention of a new third year coming to school.

The principal cleared his throat and continued, "This young lady has shown us the Rikkai spirit, and I would like you all to welcome Miu Shiori to the stage."

Etsumi's heart stilled, and the world around her slowed down. The students started to slowly clap, most of their faces showing no sign of recognition. Etsumi glanced behind her and saw the regulars clap unenthusiastically. Yukimura's smile was in place, and behind them, Etsumi saw a girl get up and slowly walk to the stage. It was Shiori, her face was Shiori's but she looked different. Her once long, wavy brown hair was cut short to her shoulders, and it curled around her face, cupping it. Her green eyes shone with a harsh light that was impossible to read, but her small beauty mark was still there under her left eye. Her movements were too graceful, and she had grown thinner and willowier. There was something she had though that she had lacked before: she was full of confidence. The little smile that was tugging at her lips mocked the others and dared them to call her what they had called her for months in her second year in middle school: a loser.

As she walked past Yukimura, she gave him a sidelong look, her eyes flashing critically, judging him before she even talked to him again. He looked back at her with a look full of nothing. His face was set in an emotionless mask as he scrutinized the girl who once worked beside him as captain. The only thing to indicate his surprise was his raised eyebrows. Renji kept his eyes closed and Sanada silently stared; the other third years gaped at her with open mouths.

"I thought she left for good," Jackal whispered.

"I thought so too," Yagyuu replied, pushing his glasses slightly up.

"I can't believe she would show up again," Niou murmured, "after running away like that."

"Saa, she's so cute now though," Marui added, receiving a punch on the arm from Niou.

"She's completely different," Renji stated. He was writing rapidly in his notebook while keeping his eyes on the girls in front of them. "She's not like how she was anymore."

"You can tell just by her walk and expression," Yukimura added. His words were muffled by his hand. His eyes followed the girl all the way to the stage.

Shiori mounted the steps and walked behind the podium, taking a huge breath before starting, "I'm honored to be a part of Rikkai High School's student body."

She paused and took in all of the faces around her. She could make out all of the boys' tennis team and she caught some few familiar faces. She looked to her left and the words caught in her throat. Etsumi was sitting in the middle of the audience, staring intently at her; with hate or in awe she couldn't tell.

Shiori looked down at her hands, taking a few breaths before continuing. "I hope that this year will be one full of happiness and success for most of us. We're here to represent Rikkai, and we should do our best to do so." She internally winced at her statement; it was the thing she failed to do in middle school. "so let's all try our hardest and bring this school to the top in everything we do, because Rikkai belongs at the top. Thank you."

Shiori calmly walked back to her seat, though her heart was beating faster than it had before. She chanced a glance at Etsumi, who was still staring at her blankly.

.

"That was Shiori!" a girl whispered to her friend. "She's back!"

"It looks like she had the same idea as us," another girl replied. "Rikkai is the best school in the nation, and going here practically guarantees a spot at Tokyo University. It's no surprise that she came here for her third year too. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised one bit if everyone else came back."

"They would only come back if Shiori came back." The first girl bit her lip in worry. "I want everyone to come back. It's been so long, I don't even _recognize_ Shiori anymore."

"I bet they're around here." The second girl slumped in her seat. "I just don't think any one of us is ready to confront one another yet though. I know they're here. I can feel it. I thought I saw people who looked like Kagami and Akahana when I was walking in here, and I don't know if my nerves are just playing eyes on my tricks or if it's actually them."

"I hope it's them . . ."

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><p>AN: Please review guys, or I'll cry. :( Haha, JK. I'll just use my super sad Asian face on you instead and you won't be able to resist! haha ;)

So, who do you guys think are the girls at the end? The two unnamed ones and then Kagami and Akahana? Tell me in a review who you think they are! It'll be awesome.

ACEXDEUCE: The school actually is really harsh and only allows winners. In the manga, when Rikkai won second, they didn't even ACCEPT the trophy, they said they wouldn't accept anything other than first place. In the anime they accept it, but originally they rejected the second place trophy.


	3. try to see the good in me

A/N: Geez guys, I'm starting to think that no one likes this story or something. Haha. No one is signing up for alerts/favorites or reviews. I'm going to keep trying to stick to this story though, I won't give up just because no one likes this.

Get ready to be shocked.

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><p><strong>Winners and Losers<strong>

_follow . me_

{see the sand in my grasp

from the first to the last

every grain becomes a memory of the past}

_till . we . can . reach . that . bright . place_

"Class 3-A," Shiori muttered as she crowded against the school bulletin board. It listed all of the classrooms and the students in the class. She was violently pushed against the wall as more people crowded to find their class.

"What the fuck," Shiori angrily murmured as she picked herself up. She recognized some faces from past classes, but they didn't even glance at her, and when there was a glance, it had no recognition in it.

She was surprised, surprised that no one remembered her when she had screwed up so badly in middle school, but she was thankful for that fact. She could start over again. Yukimura still recognized her though, she knew when she looked at him, and so did the rest of the team.

Shiori sighed in exasperation as she wound her way around the massive crowd in the hall to get to her classroom.

"Shiori-chan~" A muscular arm was draped over Shiori's slender shoulders. Niou's face grinned at her as he tugged her closer to him.

"Niou-san," Shiori greeted. She stiffened with his arm around her, but that just encouraged him to hug her closer.

"It's been years." He smiled at her with his coy trickster smile. Shiori's eyes narrowed at him, it was not a friendly smile, but a mocking one. The one he used when he toyed with girls or when he beat other tennis players.

"Get your arm off of me. Now Niou-san." Shiori looked up at him with freezing green eyes, and he responded by staring right back at her with the same expression.

"Such biting words for such a small person. If it's even possible, I think you've grown smaller."

"I've actually grown an inch or two."

"You have such slender features though. You're a lot thinner and your features seem slightly smaller." He ran a finger over her petal pink lips. The look and smile was still on his face.

Shiori's eyebrows knitted together in anger. "Stop messing with me, Niou-san."

"Are you still even a tennis player?" he continued. "You don't have the physique for it at all anymore. You never did, but you seem to have gotten even more delicate over the years. Are you thinking of joining the team? I bet you wouldn't even be able to lift a racket with that slim arm."

"I'm not weak," Shiori replied acidically.

"Hon, don't try to start that up again," Niou countered. His smile grew a bit wider. "We all know that you're weak on the inside."

Shiori shuddered at his words. She _had_ been weak, but that was three years ago, and she wasn't running from them now.

"Cold?" he questioned.

"Not particularly." She moved a bit faster, trying to get out of his grasp, but he just sped up his walking and tightened his hold on her shoulders.

"We should get along," Niou added. "We are in the same class after all. Class 3-A."

Niou took a look at her face, and his smile grew wider as he saw the slight downturn of her mouth. Her eyes stared heatedly ahead, her will to not look at him wavered as he stuck his head closer to her's. She had never liked the trickster, he was always playing with everyone's emotions.

"If you must know, I'm a ballet dancer," Shiori disclosed.

"So that explains why you look so anorexic."

"I'm not!" She turned her head to glare at him. "I'm still eating the same, I've just grown thinner through my training."

"Ballet is an extremely competitive world, can you stick to it, or will you just run away again?" Niou stopped them both in their tracks and held her shoulders, staring into her green eyes. Daunting her, but not letting her go.

"It's one hundred times more competitive than tennis at this school, and I can handle it," Shiori gritted through her teeth.

He let one of his hands reach to her hair, grabbing a piece and playing with it. "You cut your hair short," he declared. Her hair fell to her shoulders, cupping her face and neck. "I liked it long."

"Well, it's not your hair, Niou-san," Shiori jerked away from him and took a few steps back. "Don't touch me," she repeated. They were both standing in the middle of the hall, looking at each other with venom in their eyes.

"Niou," a strong voice commanded.

Niou slunk away from Shiori, leaning against the opposite wall as Sanada made his way through to the both of them. He stopped in front of Shiori and held out his hand.

"Miu-san," he addressed.

"Sanada-san." His hand swallowed hers up and his grip was strong. His calloused hands felt velvety against her skin and her cheeks tinted pink as she stared up at him, remembering the huge crush she had on him in her second year of middle school, but that was before he treated her like trash. The memory froze her features, and her eyes glinted with a bitter sheen as she looked up at him.

"It looks like we're in the same class," he claimed. His intensely gold eyes stared at her from beneath his bangs. He didn't wear his cap inside.

"Looks like it," Shiori echoed, her hand still tightly in his.

Sanada nodded once to her before walking away towards classroom 3-A.

_Damn it, _Shiori thought. _Don't forget, he treated you like trash, like you weren't even worth the dirt that was beneath his feet. He treated you like you didn't belong. _Shiori froze at the thought. She _hated _him. She hated Sanada and Yukimura and Renji and the rest of their team for making her feel like she wasn't good enough. She hated how they treated her and her team, and she hated how they showed no humility to others. Sanada was just a part of the three Demons of Rikkai, and she knew that she could never forget how she had felt those years earlier.

"You like him," Niou stated, once again next to her. He draped his arm over her shoulders again, leading her to the classroom. "I can see it all over your face. You like him, and it's just going to be another pitiful crush, like the one you had on him in middle school. He didn't even know you, and after what you did, he didn't even acknowledge your existence anymore."

"Why do you love making everyone feel like crap?" Shiori asked. Her irritation at Niou growing stronger, almost as strong as the hate she used to feel for him.

"Because it's my job. Because I'm Niou, and because I'm a trickster, and it's way too much fun to mess with other people's emotions than to just leave them alone. Like yours for instance, little Shiori-chan."

Niou let out a mean chortle before walking away ahead of her. He was wrong, she didn't like Sanada, she hated everyone on the boys' tennis team. It would be hard to forgive those who had treated her like she was worthless.

.

Etsumi pressed the button on the vending machine, waiting for her can of soda to drop out before she could head to her new class. She hoped to god that she would have the class with Shiori. She wanted an explanation, and truthfully she just wanted her old friend back again.

"Excuse me, are you done yet?"

Etsumi snapped out of her reverie, grabbing her drink and turning around to come face to face with Sato Nadeshiko.

Etsumi hadn't seen her for three years, ever since Nadeshiko had quit the team and transferred out of Rikkai.

"Nadeshiko?" Etsumi asked.

Nadeshiko raised an eyebrow at her. Her honey blonde hair was still curly and past her shoulders, and her facial features were still the same. Her light brown eyes stared at Etsumi blankly for a few seconds.

"Etsumi," Nadeshiko slowly greeted. It was a name she hadn't uttered for a while.

They both stood there awkwardly, and the whole situation reminded her of a bad Asian drama. One where lots of people were in love triangles and where none of the characters knew what they wanted.

"What are you doing here?" Etsumi finally ventured to ask.

"I came back for my senior year. This is a great school academically, and it'll really help me get into Tokyo University." Nadeshiko rested on her left foot, a sign that she was getting uncomfortable. She knew that she would run into Etsumi, she just didn't think she would on the first day of school. Her and Sorano Michiru had agreed to come back together for their senior year. Nadeshiko didn't expect Shiori to be there, and seeing Etsumi so soon was giving her a stomachache.

Nadeshiko turned to leave, forgetting about her drink.

"Wait!" Etsumi gasped, grabbing Nadeshiko's arm. "You can't go yet."

"What?"

"Don't you want to find Shiori and be friends again? Don't you want to join the tennis team?"

"No. I don't," Nadeshiko proclaimed. Her eyes still stared blankly at Etsumi, they seemed to be drifting in and out of focus. She wasn't interested.

Etsumi dropped her hand from Nadeshiko's arm, staring after her as she walked away. Her shoulders slumped in defeat. Her friends were not interested in being friends anymore.

.

Nadeshiko walked slowly back to her classroom. She was lucky that her and Michiru had their class together. They were friends in middle school, and after both leaving Rikkai, they had agreed to return for their senior year. They might have been the only two who still stayed in contact.

"What took you so long?" Michiru pouted. "And where is my drink? You forgot it didn't you?" Michiru pulled back her bangs and clipped it back with a red bow. "Do I look okay? I want to look my best when I see everyone again."

Nadeshiko looked up at her friend with an annoyed expression. "Why do you want to meet them? The boys are asses, and the girls . . . none of us are friends anymore."

"Well, what if I want to be friends again? Shiori is back, and Etsumi and Asa are already here. We just have to see if Akahana, Kagami, and Ryouko are here, and you said that you bet they would be. You also said that you saw Akahana and Kagami." There was a self-righteous look on her face as she looked down at Nadeshiko from where she was standing. Her brown eyes flashing in determination.

"Damn it, Nadeshiko, if you can't get excited about meeting our old friends then you can just stay here all alone, because_ I _am going to go and find them!" With a huge puff of her chest, Michiru rushed out of the classroom, her chin-length, black hair dramatically flaring behind her as she stomped away. She made it two steps before the final bell for first period rang and she was forced to walk back to class.

"How was finding the others?" Nadeshiko asked.

"I will during lunch," Michiru decided. She stuck her head in the air with a "hmph".

Nadeshiko laughed at her friend's behavior, deciding for the moment not to tell her about running into Etsumi.

.

Classes went by as slowly as possible. It was the first day of school and in every class, the teachers just explained the rules and expectations of the class, and that went on the whole period, for every. Single. Class.

Finally—_finally!—_it was lunch.

Michiru was wandering through the halls, searching for any familiar faces. There was a spring to her step as she burst into every classroom, demanding if Shiori was in there. Most of the people looked at her strangely and mutely shook their heads.

"Is Miu Shiori in this classroom?" Michiru shouted at the inhabitants when she opened the door to class 3-B.

"Um," a red-headed boy muttered, "Michiru-san?"

"Uh . . . yes?" Michiru replied with a creeped out expression on her face. She didn't remember the boy, but his facial features seemed very very familiar, and the way he blew his bubblegum . . .

"You're back!" he exclaimed. The Brazilian guy sitting next to him rolled his eyes but continued eating.

"Yes . . . I am . . ." Michiru narrowed her eyes, trying to recall his name and who he was.

He stared at her expectantly for a few seconds. Then his expression changed to one of exasperation. "It's me, Marui Bunta. Tennis team regular." He pointed a finger in the direction of the Brazilian. "That's Jackal, my doubles partner."

"Oh!" Michiru just recalled who he was. He was the genius of the tennis team, the guy with the big sweet tooth, the guy who didn't treat her too badly when her team had lost. "Oh . . ." She remembered the way his teammates treated her and her teammates though. She clenched her fists as she remembered the emotional abuse they gave Shiori, causing her to quit and move away. Things after that for the team just . . . fell apart. Michiru awkwardly ruffled her hair. She looked from Marui to Jackal, trying to make out their personality. Well . . .

"Do yooo woona et lunsh wif me?" Marui asked, his mouth full of cookies.

"What?"

Jackal translated for Marui, "He's asking if you want to eat lunch with us."

Michiru thought about it and weighed the pros and cons in her head. If she ate lunch with them, there was a chance they might become friends, and maybe their team wouldn't treat her and her friends like crap anymore, but what if Marui had only asked her to eat lunch with him to make fun of her? Nah. She quickly scrapped that idea. Jackal seemed nice enough, and so did Marui.

"Sure," Michiru agreed.

"Cool," they both said.

Michiru sat down and took out her bento, opening the lid to reveal fluffy white rice, carrots cut in the shapes of flowers, pieces of sweet egg omelet, and tiny hot dogs cut to look like octopi.

"That looks delicious!" Marui commented, putting a piece of cake in his mouth.

"You seem to be quite the food artist," Jackal agreen.

"Why did you ask me to eat lunch with you?" Michiru's curiosity was getting to her, and she internally scolded herself for being so rude. "You don't like me, or my ex-team."

"Eh." Marui shrugged his shoulders as if he couldn't care less. "I saw you were walking alone and I just wanted to invite you. Nothing special. I don't think of you in any way, you're just a girl who seemed lonely so I invited you. Plus, I knew you, and you weren't that bad in middle school, so I don't mind sitting with you. This will probably be the only time I ask you to sit with me, but whatever. It doesn't really matter to me if we ever talk again or not."

"Well, I was searching for my ex-captain," Michiru stiffly announced.

"Oh, Miu Shiori." Marui stared at the spot behind Michiru's head for a bit, rubbing his chin. "She's that extremely thin girl from this morning right?"

"Yeah . . ."

"Well, she's all right in my book," Marui commented. "I haven't talked to her in years, so it's really not my place to judge her now, and it would be messed up of me if I judged her solely based on her past."

Michiru smiled at his little comment. She chewed slowly, trying to think of things she would say to her old friends if she ever got to run into them. She wanted to be their friend again, but it looked like everyone else was so reluctant. Shiori didn't seem to be searching for them, and Etsumi either. Nadeshiko was just adverse to meeting everyone again.

"Your friend is here too right?" Jackal questioned, forcing Michiru to come back from her thoughts.

"Nadeshiko? Yeah, she did," she confessed.

"Some guys in our class were talking about her," Marui added.

"What?"

"They say she's a slut."

.

Nadeshiko was sitting in the empty choir room, her legs folded beneath her short skirt. She gave a sigh as she took another bite of her sandwich. She thought of what Michiru had said, and decided to talk to her later about the whole situation. She just didn't see the point in becoming friends again. They had all changed too much, and Nadeshiko felt bored of her life.

The door slid open, and a boy stepped in, checking her out. Nadeshiko raised an eyebrow in his direction.

"What do you want?" she asked.

"Don't be so cold, Nadeshiko-chan," the boy grinned.

"I never gave you permission to use my first name," Nadeshiko bluntly said.

He shrugged his shoulders, and advanced towards her. "This morning was fun." He inched closer to her. She realized she didn't know his name.

Nadeshiko closed her eyes as he came closer, the pain pouring out of her in torrents. She opened them again, and saw him right in front of her. Her eyes were glazed in disinterest as he laid a kiss on her lips, deepening it when she kissed him back, pressing herself against him. He pushed her against the desk and slipped his hand up her shirt, touching the edge of her bra.

Nadeshiko closed her eyes and melted against him. The shame was pouring back into her, though her face remained completely emotionless. She felt a hole start to form in the pit of her stomach, and with every guy that she had been with, the hole grew larger, threatening to consume her until that was all she did. The hole grew infinitely larger after every time. She couldn't stop, because when the pain and emptiness left her feeling like there was a ragged hole in her body, a guy could take away that feeling and pain for just a few minutes.

She couldn't be friends with the others anymore because they wouldn't accept her the way she was now. No one knew how she had become, how she had then chosen to live her life, not even Michiru. They had gone to different schools and lived in different cities, no one knew how she lived her life. Every one of them had changed, and Nadeshiko had changed too.

* * *

><p>AN: Review? :) You don't have to, but . . . you would be considered the nicest person in the world. :)


	4. change is the only constant we'll know

**A/N**: I just want to thank everyone who reviewed last time: chocomadsandirish, AznMistress, just saying, CranberryChocolate, and LittleGreenMonster4Ever.

You guys are really awesome people, and you have all definitely helped me feel better about this story. As much as I do love this story, I wasn't sure if others were liking it, and since no one was reviewing/alerting/favoriting, I thought that no one liked the story and that I was just writing it for an audience that wasn't there, because it sure is awfully hard to continue writing a story when you feel like the people you want to read it aren't reading it.

So I just wanted to thank everyone again. :) You guys are all really great, and without your support, I would not be able to keep writing for you.

* * *

><p><strong>Winners and Losers<strong>

_follow . me_

{but i believe in whatever you do

and i'll do anything to see it through}

_til . we . can . reach . that . bright . place_

"Class 3-A. . ." Usagi Ryouko flipped her ponytail behind her back as she walked around the halls trying to find her classroom.

_This is what I get for waking up late,_ Ryouko mentally sighed. She had woken up late, on the first day of school no less, and missed the bus that went out to Rikkai. She couldn't even make it to school until lunch time.

Her stomach grumbled woefully, reminding her that she had missed breakfast, and that now she would be missing lunch too. Ryouko sighed before continuing to find her classroom. It had been years since she had stepped onto a Rikkai campus, and seeing all of the familiar faces was just plain odd.

Ryouko's mind wandered off as she thought about the others. She didn't know if she would be the only one who came back or not, and she was not looking forward to being in any class with any of the boys.

"Excuse me," she said as she brushed past someone exceedingly tall.

"86% that you are Usagi Ryouko. 14% that you are someone new that's not Usagi-san," the tall man began.

"Eh?" Ryouko turned around and looked at the person talking to her. It was a tall guy with brown hair and closed eyes. She tried to call his image in her mind, but he didn't seem very remarkable. He was a very good looking guy, yes, but his features weren't that memorable.

"Am I correct?" he questioned.

"Why do you ask?" Ryouko gulped. _Crap, it's some guy here to bring me to the principal's office for being late!_

"For my data." His eyes remained closed as he talked to the green-eyed girl. Her eyes were flashing with a mixture of indignation and cautiousness.

"Data?" She repeated. Did he mean her school record?

"There's a 97% chance that you forgot who I am," Renji added.

_Why does he sound so damn familiar?_ Ryouko bit her lip as she thought back to her middle school days at Rikkai.

Her eyes darkened as she tried to remember. The truth was that she barely remembered anything from that time. The humiliation she felt overcame any other feelings, and over the pat three years, she had blocked out every bad memory of the time. She nearly forgot why she left, but the impending word _loser_ was embedded in her brain like a crystal in a geode. Their loss at nationals was as pitiful one for Rikkai, and after that . . . after that she could barely remember what went on. The memories from earlier were locked up in a safe that even she forgot the combination to. She vaguely remembered all of the crude names she was called, and all of the hateful pranks that were played upon her and her fellow teammates—her friends at the time. And she could recollect a bit about the boys' team and how they treated her team, but she had pushed out that thought a long time ago, and in her mind, she only knew that they were treated badly by the boys. She couldn't even remember who the boys were, but she had a faint idea about how they looked and what they sounded like.

Ryouko knew that those memories were bad, so she very rarely ever called upon them. It was because she had locked them away that she was able to be the person she was. She was able to live a carefree and happy life where she wasn't always pressured into winning. She had forgotten about it, and her overall demeanor turned out to be more fun and adventurous.

As she was contemplating all of this, Yanagi Renji cleared his throat, staring at her without even opening his eyes.

"I'm sorry, I don't really remember," Ryouko confessed.

"Not as I expected," Renji murmured, his hand on his chin. "If that's the case, can I accompany you to the lunch room?"

"Sorry dude, no can do. I need to find my class ASAP."

"You didn't find it before?" His voice was inquisitive.

"Um . . ." Ryouko bit her lip again, there was no way she could tell him the truth! He might be working for the principal . . . with his "data" it sure seemed like he was.

Ryouko narrowed her eyes at him, scrunching up her nose a bit as she scrutinized him. His tie was perfectly nodded, and his white, button up shirt was ironed, given they weren't tucked into his pants though, but no one tucked their shirt in. He wore wristbands around his wrists, and he held a bento box in his hand.

"Well?" His voice betrayed no emotion, but Ryouko could tell he was getting impatient.

It was at that moment that Ryouko's stomach made the decision for her. "Okay," she sighed. "Let's go get some food before I die."

She followed the boy down the hall, whispers following the two as they walked. Ryouko glanced wildly around, trying to figure out why they were whispering. Was it because she was new?

"Here we are," the boy announced. He led her into the cafeteria. The sight of the food was making her sway as she was pulled towards the lunch line by the smell.

Yanagi went over to sit with Yukimura and Sanada as soon as he saw that she was preoccupied.

"Who was that you just walked in with?" Yukimura smiled. "It's only the first day of school and you already have a girl following you?"

"That's not what was going on," Yanagi replied. "I was just showing her to the lunch room. She's a familiar face, if you know what I mean."

"There seem to be a lot of those today," Yukimura agreed. His eyes glanced around the room, landing on Ryouko and then shifting back to his friends. "It seems they all came back this year."

.

Ryouko entered her classroom after lunch and explained to the teacher why she was late. Luckily, the man was very kind and decided to excuse her since it was her first day and because she was a new student. It seemed as if he wasn't quite used to the Rikkai rule of no slacking off.

Seats had already been chosen by students and Ryouko didn't want to steal any of their's, so she waited until everyone had filed in and sat down before she chose a seat relatively in the middle behind a black haired girl and in front of a silver haired boy who smiled at her in a strange way before she sat down. Once again she couldn't help but feel as if she faintly recognized him, but she couldn't really tell who he was.

So she decided to ignore the feeling.

Off to the side, Ryouko didn't realize that Shiori was staring at the girl intently.

_She's back._ Shiori thought. Her eyes glanced to the figure behind the girl—Niou. And then her eyes traveled to the figure a few seats in front of her window seat—Sanada. It was surprising to her that the two boys weren't sitting together; she thought they were all close friends.

Shiori sighed as she spaced out. She needed to get Ryouko safe. She needed to become her friend so that she could protect Ryouko from people like Niou or Yukimura, people who still remembered. Shiori composed herself as the history teacher told them to all get into small groups to do the next assignment.

Shiori quickly got out of her seat and made her way to Ryouko who seemed to be having an altercation with Niou.

"Stop pulling my hair!" Ryouko hissed. Her green eyes narrowed at the trickster.

"Puri~" Niou said as he pulled on her long, black ponytail again.

"Niou," Sanada reprimanded, coming up from behind Shiori. She was surprised at his sudden appearance, but he kept his distance from her.

"Eh?" Niou looked up at both Shiori and Sanada with a twinkle of mischief in his eyes. "I want to be partners with Ryouko-chan here."

"Eh? How do you know my name?" Ryouko exclaimed. She looked up at Sanada and Shiori and her mouth formed a small O in surprise.

"Shiori?" Ryouko shouted, suddenly standing up, causing her desk to shake violently. "Shiori!" Ryouko moved forward and gave the girl a tight hug. "Saa, I missed you so much!"

"A-ah," Shiori stuttered. "I feel the same way." She awkwardly patted Ryouko on the back. She wasn't used to such human contact, and it made her feel awkward.

Ryouko let go of her and jumped back slightly with a smile on her face, rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet. Her smile was genuine, but Ryouko's entire look screamed troublemaker. Shiori sighed, Ryouko really always was someone who looked for adventurous and exciting things to do.

"Shiori-chan, you shouldn't be stealing my partner away from me," Niou interrupted.

"I'm not," Shiori replied curtly. Her eyes flashed at him in annoyance for a moment.

"You and Sanada here can be partners."

Sanada and Shiori were silent at the suggestion.

"Find partners quickly!" the teacher announced as he walked through the classroom. He stopped at the four and asked, "So which one of you are partners?"

"Ryouko-chan here is my partner," Niou smirked, grabbing Ryouko's arm and pulling her back down into her seat. "Sanada-fukubuchou and Shiori-chan are partners."

Shiori smiled at Sanada politely before pulling a desk up next to his. She was treating him like a complete stranger.

"I'm sorry about Niou," Sanada apologized.

"No, it's fine," Shiori replied. She brushed her hair behind her ear in a regal sort of way not looking at his face. It seemed as if Niou's little trick then didn't have an effect on her like what he was saying to her that morning. She seemed more composed than before, and it was sort of eerie.

Shiori was already drawing the shapes of all of the continents on a piece of blank paper. The teacher had given them an easy assignment since it was only the first day.

"I'll label all of the countries and capitals if you draw the borders," Sanada stiffly suggested. He wasn't used to talking or working with girls. He only did it when necessary since he usually had no time for such things.

"Fine with me," Shiori agreed without looking at him.

"Hm." The two continued their work without even a glance to each other all period.

.

"Kagami!" Hoshiyo Akahana whined as she slowly followed her friend. Her feet dragged on the floor as Nagisa Kagami walked briskly ahead. Her pale blonde hair was cut into a curly bob, and she always wore a black headband. Her light blue eyes behind her square glasses were set in determination as she walked even faster.

"Slow down!" Akahana complained. She opened her big blue eyes and stared at Kagami in a forlorn way.

"Your puppy dog look isn't going to work on me, Akahana," Kagami said over her shoulder.

"It's not fair though that we're searching for a club on the first day of school." Akahana stomped her feet and glared at her friend.

"I want to get first dibs," Kagami called. She walked over to the announcement boards and scanned the list of clubs. "Same old, same old. They're all the regular clubs that every school has."

"Maybe you should join the Student Disciplinary Committee since you seem to be so good at torturing students." Akahana rolled her eyes in annoyance. She pulled back her waist length pink hair and clipped it back.

"No thanks," Kagami replied. "I'm not interested in such a club. Anyways, Sanada Genichirou is the president of that club."

"Just forget him. He doesn't matter anymore." Even as Akahana said that, her eyebrows creased in anxiety. She had tried hard not to come in contact with any of the regulars. Yanagi Renji, Yagyuu Hiroshi, and Marui Bunta were already in her and Kagami's class. It would be hard to ignore them, but it wasn't that hard to get past them once the school day was over.

"Let's just join the tennis team and be done with it," Akahana suggested.

Kagami spun around and faced her, a glare on her face. "Did you forget what happened to us? Did you forget how we were treated?"

Akahana's throat felt dry and she took a big gulp. Her eyes projected uncertainty even while she was saying, "I like tennis though. We . . . we shouldn't let the boys ruin that . . . they might be over it by now . . ." Her eyes were cast downwards.

"Your determination never stopped you from leaving Rikkai along with me and the others," Kagami stated coldly.

"That's different!" Akahana's head snapped up. "At least I still got to play tennis at the other school!"

They both stood there silently. It was rare when they ever got into fights. Kagami studied Akahana. She was different. She was a bit lazier, she settled for average grades, she constantly wanted to have fun and be doing something, and she was more disagreeable. Before in middle school, the two had never fought. Akahana had started settling for mediocre. Maybe tennis was the only thing she wanted to excel in, maybe she wanted to excel in it because of how people had treated her in middle school. Akahana wanted to prove herself as a good tennis player. She was probably the only one out of all of the girls who left where tennis was still the number one priority in her life, all of the other girls got different hobbies.

Akahana trusted people again too easily, and it was a weakness. Since leaving Rikkai she had been slacking off. She let her emotions run wild, and she did things for herself only. And only for the sake of having fun. It seemed as if she didn't care about her life anymore, and she wanted to live everything like one big, stupid party.

"I heard that you were a huge party girl now, is it true?" Kagami questioned.

"Does it matter? We're supposed to be best friends, you're suppose to accept me no matter what. It doesn't matter that I party now or that I have the occasional drink. I'm still doing fine in school, and I'm still doing fine in tennis!" Akahana shouted back. "You just don't understand anymore Kagami. You don't trust anyone anymore, and it's annoying the hell out of me!"

Kagami shut her eyes, taking a deep breath before opening them again. It was true, she stopped trusting people, but she didn't want to let her guard down. She didn't want to run from her mistakes anymore, even if being at Rikkai reminded her of how human she was. Of how full of flaws she was. She had trained herself to be a perfect student, a perfect daughter, and a perfect friend. Her parents expected nothing less of perfect, and Rikkai was a place where champions were born. Kagami was to be a champion, and if not . . . her parents would be disappointed.

Sometimes, the stress of everything got to her, and Kagami felt like just running away like how she did in middle school, but if she did again, it would mark her as a true failure. She wouldn't be loved, she wouldn't be admired, she would just be a loser, and a failure, and someone who was worth nothing. She couldn't let her mask crack or the weaknesses inside of her would be exploited. If that was the case, then her parents might not even accept her again, and she knew the feeling of rejection. She felt that powerful feeling when all of Rikkai turned against the girls' tennis team.

"You're too wild," Kagami conceded. She rubbed her temples lightly. She wasn't one to accept mediocrity, and her best friend had decided to live on mediocrity.

"Just accept me, Kagami," Akahana pleaded. "We're best friends, and we should be able to still be best friends now."

Kagami nodded her head slowly, thinking about what Akahana just stated. They were best friends, and even though Akahana had settled for mediocrity in life, she still tried with all her heart to excel in tennis.

"Don't you want to show them all that we've changed? That we're better now and that we won't lose?" Akahana added. "Don't you want to disprove everything that anyone ever said about us?"

"Eh, I do," Kagami consented. "Let's do it then, let's join the tennis team."

Akahana smiled at Kagami, holding out her hand. Kagami smiled back and shook it.

"Let's show everyone that we still got it," Akahana insisted.

"Yeah, let's do that," Kagami agreed.

.

"E-Etsumi!" Asa panted as she ran over to her friend. She had just finished playing her challenge matches and had run off to buy a bottle of water when she heard two girls talking.

"What is it?" Etsumi queried.

"Two more girls are going to join!" Asa jumped up and down as a huge grin appeared on her face. Maybe this year we'll get people who like us!" Asa continued to jump and dance as everyone else trying out played their matches.

Asa had just started dancing the macarena when she spotted the two girls.

"There they are!" she squealed in excitement. She ran towards the two to greet them enthusiastically, but all Etsumi could focus on was the girls' faces.

* * *

><p>AN: Review anyone? :) It will be fun, I promise. :)


	5. i can do this once more

**A/N: Important! Everyone please read this as it contains important information!**

Okay, so first of all, if you guys have not read chapter four yet, then please do. CHAPTER FOUR IS AN ACTUAL CHAPTER! It was a note, but I took the note down since fanfic said that it doesn't want author's notes to be full chapters, and that author's notes can just be at the beginnings and ends of chapters. So I actually put THE REAL CHAPTER FOUR up as CHAPTER FOUR: CHANGE IS THE ONLY CONSTANT WE'LL KNOW. It's a real chapter.

SO PLEASE READ THAT CHAPTER (if you haven't already) BEFORE YOU READ THIS CHAPTER!

Also, for all of you who have asked and commented, last week I talked to _Neon Genesis_, the author of _250 Dark Stars_, and we sorted it all out. :) She was really nice and awesome. :)

Also, for all of you guys who missed the note I had posted, I said that the header I use for this story belongs to _Neon Genesis_, but nothing else does.

* * *

><p><strong>Winners and Losers<strong>

_ follow . me_

{topple you down from your sky

forty stories high}

_til . we . reach . that . bright . place_

"E-Etsumi!" Akahana stuttered once she got close enough to the brunette to see her face. Kagami stood rooted to the spot, not moving any closer to their old friend.

"What are you doing here?" Etsumi breathed. Her eyes bore into the two girls in front of her.

"We're here to join the tennis team." Akahana spoke for Kagami since she seemed to have lost her voice.

Etsumi raised her eyebrow slightly. Out of the two, only Akahana had her tennis bag. "Both of you?"

"Yes, both of us," Akahana huffed. She dropped her bag and pulled out a racket. "I'll beat anyone if I have to."

"Well, we already decided on the regulars," Etsumi slowly stated. "Asa made it this year as a regular. She beat all of the other regulars, other than me."

"Well, I'll do the same," Akahana arrogantly announced. She glanced at the regulars and made a sour face. "They're nothing special, not compared to me." She threw her head up as if to emphasize her point.

"And you, Kagami?" Etsumi asked, directly the question to the silent blonde.

Kagami stiffened. "I'll do the same."

"Let's see if you can first of all."

Etsumi turned to the current regulars and informed them of the challenge match that they all received.

"What spot are you challenging for?" Etsumi questioned, turning back around to face Akahana.

"Any, I'll beat all of them just to prove that I can be a regular."

"This is something serious," Etsumi warned. Her brown eyes burned into Akahana's. "You will not be allowed to quit or leave."

Akahana swallowed hard and let out a breath. "Fine, I get it. I'm too good to be a quitter now anyways." She swung her racket up to her shoulder and tapped her back with it. "Let's get this started."

She walked onto the girls' tennis courts and stood in front of the net, waiting for her opponent to come.

"Takahashi-san, play her first," Etsumi commanded. Her arms were crossed over her chest, hiding the fact that her nails were digging into the flesh of her palms and that she was shaking. She acted strong and in control, but she was weak, always thinking of the past and never of the future unless it consisted of winning nationals. Her team didn't respect her, they only obeyed her on most days because she was the best out of all of them.

"Smooth or rough?" Akahana asked.

"Rough," the girl named Takahashi replied. She stared intently as the racket spun, landing on smooth.

"Too bad," Akahana grinned.

She headed to the baseline and bounced the ball several times before throwing it high into the air. When it started to descend, she hit it with the top of her racket, near the frame and not the sweet spot. The ball spun uncontrollably from her racket, landing at the corner of the service box before bouncing up towards Takahashi, missing her body by mere inches.

"Is she trying to hurt the girl?" Etsumi muttered; she bit her thumbnail as she watched Akahana grin at her service ace.

"It's not that," Kagami said, finally relinquishing in her resolve to not talk. "There's no telling where the ball will go, didn't you see the spin? It was a slice serve. She sliced the top of the ball with the top of her racket, giving it no control whatsoever. She aims just barely enough to get it in the box, and the rest is practically out of her control. It's such an unpredictable serve, yet it works for her."

Etsumi glanced at Kagami through her peripheral. "You sound very much like Yanagi Renji right now."

"I'm just good at observing," Kagami stated, no sign of disconcert in her voice. "You are too. You would have noticed all of what I just said if you weren't too busy being distracted by the fact that me and Akahana are back. Every regular has to have good insight, especially ones at Rikkai, because if you can't read someone's tennis move, then what are you as a tennis player in Rikkai."

"Such a good insight on Rikkai's laws for someone who ran away from them," Etsumi spat. It came out weaker than she wanted because her voice wavered at the end, the only indication that she was near tears from confusion and happiness and anger all at the same time. She didn't understand why everyone was coming back, but she had to act strong, even if she was freaking out on the inside.

The two were drawn back into the match when Asa—who was referee—shouted, "Two games to love! Hoshiyo to lead!"

Akahana smiled at herself at her easy win, she broke the other girl's serve and she didn't even need to use her special moves or anything.

She served again, using her slice serve. It was a sure ace, but Takahashi had already seen it, and returned it with little difficulty.

"Crap," Akahana muttered. She raced to the other side of the court to return the ball with a backhand.

"She's quick on her feet, I'll give her that," Etsumi surmised. "However, she shouldn't underestimate all of the regulars. We are a national winning team."

"Thirty all!" Asa shouted. Akahana had just scored another point to catch up to Takahashi.

Akahana rallied with the regular across from her for a bit before hitting a game winning smash.

"Three games to love! Hoshiyo to lead."

Takahashi wiped the sweat off of her brow as she looked at the pink haired girl she knew during middle school. She had become even stronger since then, and she became unpredictable. Right when Takahashi thought she had cracked the code to beat Akahana, another wall was thrown up and she couldn't read Akahana at all. Her play style was too unpredictable to be even considered a play style. She didn't seem to aim most of the time, but her balls would just land in Takahashi's blind spots.

"Five games to love! Hoshiyo to lead!" Asa shouted. The other regulars were getting worried, Takahashi was one of their best.

Takahashi took a breather before serving. She bounced the ball and threw it into the air, hitting it. The ball flew over the court and bounced up towards Akahana's face. Akahana deflected the ball with her racket, but it flew into the net because of the odd angle she hit it at.

"Was that Echizen-san's Twist Serve?" Kagami asked surprised. Her eye were glinting with interest behind her glasses.

"No, not really," Etsumi denied. "If anything, it's more like Ibu-san's Kick Serve."

Akahana struggled with returning Takahashi's Kick Serve. She could barely hit it when it was aimed at her, and when she was able to get it over the net, Takahashi would just readily be there to return it to one of the many blind spots that Akahana had when trying to return the serve.

"Five games to one! Hoshiyo to lead!"

Akahana grunted in anger. She was not suppose to lose a game. She was there to prove herself, and she lost a game because of Takahashi's serve. She took a ball out of her pocket and was ready to serve. She gripped it tight in her before throwing it up. It bounced at the corner of the service box, spinning wildly on the ground before bouncing up. Takahashi was ready to hit the serve, but when her racket touched the ball, she couldn't return it. The power of the serve knocked it out of her hands.

"Damn it," Takahashi cursed as she walked to pick up her racket.

The two girls battled each other in the last game. Each following each other's score.

"Deuce!" Asa called out.

Takahashi was persistent, Akahana would admit to that, but in no way was Takahashi stronger than herself. She served her power serve again and Takahashi hit it back over the net, barely getting it over. Akahana rushed to the front to volley it back.

"Advantage Hoshiyo."

Akahana smiled. She threw the ball up and sliced it. It landed in the middle of the service box before bouncing off to the right.

"Game. Set. Match. Hoshiyo wins, six games to one," Asa announced.

"Good game," Akahana said good-naturedly as she shook Takahashi's hand.

Takahashi didn't reply.

"Who's next?" Akahana called from the court.

.

Akahana collapsed on one of the benches. Her chest rising up and down quickly as she sucked in air.

"Good job," Kagami praised as she handed the pink-haired girl a water bottle.

"Thanks." Akahana grabbed the bottle and gulped down the water greedily. "Playing all of those matches really takes a toll on you since it's one right after another. Just try to beat them all as quickly as possible."

"Will do then."

Kagami grabbed one of Akahana's rackets and headed to the court. She had to win.

.

"Congratulations to the both of you for beating all of the regulars," Etsumi beamed. "You will be replacing Takahashi and Suzuka on the team." She shook hands with the two girls.

"I'm so happy we're on the same team again!" Akahana jumped up and hugged Etsumi. "I missed talking to you."

"Oh . . ." Etsumi patted the girl on the back and hugged her briefly. "Well, we're a team again now."

"I know!" Akahana grinned a wide smile. "Won't that be great?"

"It will be." Etsumi allowed a small smile to escape from her lips. She had one of her friends back, but she wasn't going to trust her completely yet.

"It'll be nice working together again," Kagami added, shaking Etsumi's hand. "I look forward to being under your guidance."

"I hope we'll all become friends again," Akahana wistfully smiled.

"Well, it's possible," Etsumi admitted. She gripped her hands behind her back, she didn't want to get her hopes up. These were not the same girls that she was friends with before. They had changed. "Shiori is back."

"Shiori . . ." Kagami slowly stated. "Is back . . ."

"Our old captain," Etsumi confirmed.

"We saw her this morning when she gave the speech."

They all stood there silently.

"Nadeshiko is back too," Etsumi added. "I met her today."

"This is impossible right?" Akahana laughed nervously. "I mean, what are the chances of all of us coming back here?"

Etsumi stared at her. "Why did you come back?"

"I came back to prove myself as a tennis player, and I wanted to be a part of a team that could take me to nationals," Akahana replied. "I'm here to play tennis with the best school in the nation."

She shrugged her shoulders non-committedly. Her expression was smug as she looked down on Etsumi, who was a good two inches shorter.

"And you, Kagami?" Etsumi inquired.

"I'm here because this is one of the best schools academically. It will help me get anywhere in life, and it will help me get into any university," Kagami admitted. "I wasn't planning on joining the team, but it doesn't really matter much now."

"It could be that the others came back for that reason too," Etsumi affirmed, biting her lip. "It's possible. It's just not plausible that such a thing would happen."

.

Shiori walked down the street. She had just left the library and was heading home. Her head throbbed as she thought back on the school day. She ran into Niou who loved harassing her, and her friends. She rubbed her temples as she thought about the many, many school days to come with both Niou and Sanada in her class. At least Ryouka was there too, even if she did seem clueless about the regulars, like she didn't recognize them.

Her pace quickened as she thought of the warm bed that awaited her, of the nice, long bath she would take, and of the delicious meal her mother was probably making right then. She couldn't wait to get home and just relax after her first day.

The sound of a bell ringing brought her back to reality. She sighed as she realized it was still a long way to her house. Shiori raised her head and squared her shoulders. Her eyes caught the sight of a tennis bag, and she stopped for a moment.

The girl holding the bag turned towards her and squinted for a bit against the sun. Her expression dropped when she saw Shiori.

"Shiori," the girl whispered.

"How are you, Etsumi?" Shiori inquired. She stared at Etsumi's figure, trying to digest what she could possibly say without hurting the other girl.

Etsumi's face betrayed all of her emotions. It was full of anger, and hurt, and sadness, and a feeling that was incomprehensible to Shiori.

"Why did you come back?" Etsumi gritted. "Why didn't you tell me?" Her hands shook uncontrollably as she stared at Shiori.

Shiori switched her bag to her other shoulder and started massaging it. She was already feeling tense and tired. Her gaze dulled to a tired gleam as she looked at Etsumi. She didn't want to step on any toes.

"Are you really not going to fucking answer me?" Etsumi bitterly laughed.

"It's not that." Shiori sighed and combed her hand through her hair. Her voice faded out slightly, and her eyes looked faraway, like she wasn't talking to Etsumi, but to someone else.

"Stop being like that." Etsumi's voice broke as she spoke. Her anger drained out of her. "You're being like how you were before."

Shiori stared at the other girl. There was nothing she could say. She was doing that drifting thing again. The drifting that she did right before she left Rikkai for the first time.

"You forced me to be captain," Etsumi accused her like it was the biggest crime. "I wasn't ready!" Her head dropped to stare at the ground.

Shiori continued to stare at Etsumi.

"I'm sorry, what can I say,"Shiori apologized. "I don't regret leaving though. I _needed_ to leave."

"Everyone left after you did, Shiori. We needed _you_, and you left."

People walked past them on the sidewalk, ignoring them and artfully stepping past and around them. Shiori focused on their blurred faces.

"Play me," Etsumi demanded. Her head snapped up to face Shiori. "Play me in tennis."

"What?" Shiori's eyebrows flew upwards.

"I need to know that I'm better than you, that I deserve to be captain now. So play me."

.

The two girls had walked to a nearby street tennis court. It was getting dark, and the lights were just turning on. Some people were playing tennis a few courts away.

Shiori rolled up her sleeves and took off her school blazer, grabbing one of Etsumi's rackets.

"I haven't played in a while," she stated, kicking the edge of the racket with the side of her foot.

"It's fine," Etsumi replied. "It probably won't matter much. You were good."

Shiori didn't reply, she just made her way across the court.

"You can serve first," Etsumi called out.

"Okay." Shiori bounced the ball a few times and served.

.

Etsumi was sweating. Her skirt felt scratchy and hot, and her bangs were flying into her face. Her legs were aching and her hands felt as if they were stiff from holding the racket for so long. She now regretted not changing back into her tennis outfit. The sleeves of her collared shirt was falling back down to her wrists as she ran to hit a shot back at Shiori.

Etsumi hit a backhand towards the left corner of the court near the doubles alley. _How does Shiori have so much stamina still? How can her legs not have given out yet?_ She brushed her sweaty bangs out of her face to look at Shiori's thin arms and legs. _This is impossible._

Shiori hit a volley and the ball bounced twice at the net. Etsumi was too late.

"You said you haven't played tennis in a long time," Etsumi spat.

"I haven't," Shiori said.

"Then why are you still so strong? You should be on the ground by now."

Shiori looked off behind Etsumi, her pupils growing small. "It's called ballet. You have no idea the training that I go through every day just to be an amazing dancer. You don't know how much strength I need in my legs just to be able to hold my body up when I'm dancing."

Shiori focused her gaze on Etsumi, her voice getting angrier. "You have no idea how strong you must be emotionally and physically to be able to dance in the world of ballet, where every single move you do has to be clean, has to be perfect. Being a centimeter off will make the whole dance off, and it puts you at the bottom. You think that I look so fragile, but my body needs to be this way in order to dance ballet, and my legs have to be strong. Every day when I dance I hold my whole body up on just the tips of my toes."

Etsumi swallowed the lump in her throat as Shiori's hurtful gaze fell upon her. She didn't know what to say, so she said the first thing that came up in her mind. "You have so much stamina."

Shiori walked towards Etsumi, handing her the racket. "To be able to dance in a way where your body holds impossible positions for long amounts of time needs a lot of stamina. Ballet consumes more strength out of a human in one minute than tennis does during a whole match."

Shiori grabbed her bag and started walking away.

"Wait!" Etsumi's hand flew out to grab at Shiori. "Please, we need you still."

Shiori turned her head back towards Etsumi for a minute. "Ballet, is not something that can be done when you're focusing on something else. I practice every day for four to five hours alone on ballet, it's a full time career, and I can't give that up to join a team that doesn't give a damn about anything other than winning."

Etsumi's hand dropped and Shiori continued to walk away, not even glancing back at the brunette. The score was still burned into her head as she thought back on the match. _6-3, 6-1._

* * *

><p><em>Everyone should review. :) It makes me happy, and makes me update faster. I took so long with this chapter because . . . well, I thought no one liked the story anymore. But I tried my best to get it out.<em>


	6. but there's no remedy for memory

******A/N: **Hey everyone, sorry for taking so long to update. Something really serious just happened in my life, and honestly, I'm still not over it, I've just been really sad and it's been bothering me all this time. I mean, I tried to cheer up, but everything I did either 1) made me sad or 2) I sucked at everything I did because I was sad. I tried writing this chapter, but I deleted it about four times because it was just so unbearably bad.

Anyways . . . it's summer time right now so I'll be able to update way more often!

OHMYBUDDHA, I just reread my story _Otoshimae or Omiai?_ and it it so _bad_. I'm considering rewriting it, what do you guys think? I can't even bear to read past the first chapter because it was so bad. It has been over three years since I wrote it though. Wow, it just sucked. Haha.

Tell me what you guys think of this chapter though. REVIEW is what I'm trying to subtly (or not subtly) say.**  
><strong>

Also, check out the poll on my profile!

And thank you to the guest that reviewed my story last, you were the one that finally encouraged me to just get over my emotions and write this chapter, thank you. :)

* * *

><p><strong>Winners and Losers<strong>

_follow . me_

{but there's no remedy for memory your face is

like a melody, it won't leave my head

your soul is haunting me}

_til . we . reach . that . bright . place_

"You're super sexy you know," a boy whispered in Nadeshiko's ear as she grabbed her skirt from the floor and put it on. He hugged her waist and pulled her back towards the bed.

"We're going to be late for school," Nadeshiko curtly answered.

"Ugh." The boy flopped back down on his bed and threw an arm over his forehead. "We could just stay here for today you know. Just us. Doing stuff like last night." He nudged her back with his foot.

"I have a physics exam today."

"It's only been two weeks, why would you have an exam?" The boy sat up and started rubbing Nadeshiko's back. "Come on, let's stay here."

Nadeshiko sighed and started to button up her shirt. "You can stay here if you want, I'm going to school."

"Fine. Leave. But if you ever want to have sex again, I put my number in your phone."

Nadeshiko combed her hair with her fingers and bolted out his door.

.

Nadeshiko arrived at school earlier than she anticipated. There was barely anyone there other than a few stray early risers. She yawned as she tried to flatten her skirt which was wrinkled from being on the floor all night. She should have brought a change of clothes.

The thwacking of tennis balls against racquets made a loud popping noise that Nadeshiko cringed at. It was making her sick to hear those sounds.

"There you are!"

Nadeshiko turned around to see a wild-haired and disheveled Michiru rushing towards her. Michiru's hair was _always_ straight and perfect, even when she played a tennis match. Her eyes were puffy and red and her face was flushed.

"I was up all fucking night worrying about you! Where the hell were you? I called your cell about one hundred times and you _never _answered. What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Nadeshiko took out her phone to check it. Dead.

"I was at a friend's house," she half lied.

"No, you weren't." Michiru grabbed Nadeshiko's arm. "Do you think I don't hear the rumors? That I don't know what every guy says about you, or what every girl thinks? We're best friends, why don't you tell me anything anymore? You look like a mess."

Nadeshiko blew out a whistle between her teeth and stared at Michiru. Michiru who could feel so much and who could be satisfied with how things went for her.

"It's not that I don't want to tell you, I just shouldn't."

"That's a bunch of bull."

"What do you want me to say?"

"Just tell me the truth." Michiru sighed. "And stop doing . . . that. That thing you do with those guys."

Nadeshiko's cheeks colored in embarrassment as she stared at her friend. She narrowed her eyes and pushed Michiru away. "What? Sex? It's a natural thing you know. Someday, you'll probably have sex too if you're not too busy finding a way to be a frigid bitch."

Michiru's face darkened slightly, and her lips pulled tight, stretching until they become a razor thin line. "I thought we were friends." Michiru's face grew pale as she turned around and stormed towards the tennis courts. Her feet shuffled on the ground, which only happened when she let her posture go bad. She could feel Nadeshiko's gaze on her back, and she looked back for a second. Nadeshiko stood there, not even staring at her, but at an invisible point that no one else could focus on. Her eyes were shaded and it took a few minutes before she too turned around and left.

Michiru's ears burned in shame. She continued towards the courts. Tennis had once been something that she could use to calm down, but now . . . she wasn't quite sure what it did.

She roughly kicked a can that was on the ground until it fell rattling against the chain-link fence. Michiru looked up to see all the boys on the tennis team looking at her. Her face grew hot as she tried to fix her hair. Her worry about Nadeshiko had kept her awake all night and she certainly looked the part of a sleep-deprived teenager.

On the other side of the fence, a red-headed, bubblegum blowing boy smiled at her as she rushed away.

.

"Hoshiyo-san, I suggest you stop eating in class and start paying attention to Shakespeare."

Akahana's head popped up from behind her textbook as she looked up at her literature teacher. "I'm sorry, sensai."

The teacher sighed, "I guess there's nothing to do about it now, but as a punishment, come up to the front of the class and perform Hermia's part from Act one Scene one of _A Midsummer Night's Dream_."

"Damn it," Akahana murmured. She was only eating in the first place because she woke up late and didn't have time to eat before she headed to morning practice.

Her chair scraped backwards as she grabbed her book and headed to the front of the classroom.

"Does anyone volunteer to play the part of Lysander?" the teacher questioned. No one rasied their hands.

"Anyone?" the teacher repeated. "If no one volunteers, then I'll just pick someone randomly."

In the middle of the class, a long arm stretched over the heads of everyone.  
>"Yagyuu-san! Thank you for volunteering. Always the gentleman, you are."<p>

Akahana internally groaned at the sight of the purple-haired man. His glasses hid his eyes and he placed himself right in front of Akahana.

"Yagyuu-san, you can begin at line one hundred thirty," the teacher announced.

"'How now, my love? Why is your cheek so pale? How chance the roses there do fade so fast?'" Yagyuu acted. His hand drifted up to caress her cheek softly. He didn't touch her too closely, just let his fingertips linger on her skin.

Akahana stared at him for a moment before getting her voice back again. "'B-belike for want of rain, which I could well besteem them from the tempest of my eyes,'" she stuttered. Her eyes glancing quickly from the book to Yagyuu's face.

"You have to be convincing up there, Hoshiyo-san," the teacher clucked, waving his index finger at Akahana.

"Ugh." Akahana rolled her eyes discreetly before turning back to face Yagyuu.

He continued rading. "'Ay me! For aught that I could ever read, could ever hear by tale or history, the course of true love never did run smooth.'" Yagyuu sighed convincingly, and withdrew his hand, looking her straight in her eyes. "'But either it was different in blood—'"

"'O cross!'" Akahana proclaimed, raising her hand to her forehead. "'Too high to be enthralled to low.'"

"'Or else misgraffed in respect of years—'" Yagyuu took a step closer to Akahana, his voice rising as he got more in character.

"'O spite! Too old to be engaged to young.'" Akahana took a step towards Yagyuu.

"'Or else it stood upon the choice of friends—'" He got even closer to her the more they acted.

"'O hell, to choose love by another's eyes!'" Akahana shouted that last line, her chest heaving from her feigned anguish. There was only a few inches left between the two as they stared each other down. Akahana tried to see his eye color from behind his glasses, but she could only see the reflection of her own face. That was the closest she had ever been to Yagyuu, if she wanted to shock the class, she could just lean up a bit and kiss him.

"Well that was quiet amazing!" the teacher interrupted, clapping his hands. The rest of the class followed his lead and started clapping too.

Akahana raised her head and shook Yagyuu's hand. "Good job." She flicked her pink ponytail behind her shoulder and headed to her seat next to Kagami.

"Well, how was I?" she asked her best friend.

Kagami just gave her a disapproving look before turning back to her book.

"What?"

"Canoodling with the enemy?"

"This was for class! It's not like we're going to have babies or anything."

"You forgive too easily." Kagami refused to look at Akahana, choosing instead to focus on a spot in her textbook.

"I just choose to forget," Akahana replied, shrugging and sitting back in her desk. "You need to let go; it's been three years since then."

"I can't just forget how the treated us, Akahana," Kagami hissed. Her eyes narrowed in the direction of Yagyuu, Yanagi, and Marui. "All of the regulars treated us like we were shit. Don't forget that you left too, Akahana,that you left because of them.

.

"Shit," Ryouko muttered. She stood before the girls' tennis courts, watching some of them play. For the past week she had wondered whether she should join the team or not. She vaguely remembered playing in middle school, and when she entered high school, she had decided to play again after a year break. Usually she wouldn't hesitate to join, but there was something strange about the _Rikkai's_ girls' team. It made a chilly feeling go up Ryouko's back whenever she thought about joining. It was what had kept her from joining for the past week.

"Shit," she repeated. "If only I can remember why I have this feeling." She paced in front of the tennis court gates, internally debating if she should go in or not.

"Um, Ryouko-sempai?" Asa stared at Ryouko as she repeatedly put her hand on the gate handle and withdraw it again, all within a matter of seconds. Ryouko made a strange face at the gate handle as if there were tentacles sprouting out of it. After a few more minutes of silently glaring at the gate, she finally looked over to Asa.

"Oh hi!" Ryouko straightened up at smiled at her kohai, putting her hand out in greeting. After a few moments of shaking hands, Ryouko narrowed her eyes at Asa. "Wait a minute . . . Don't tell me who you are! Just let me remember! I definitely know you, I just don't have a very good memory when it comes to my years here at Rikkai during middle school. Wait . . . you . . . are . . . my kohai!"

Asa let out a small laugh that made more of her blonde hair fall out of its messy bun. "Well, that's right, but there are hundreds of other students here who are also your kohai."

"Hmm . . ." Ryouko took a closer look at Asa. Grabbing her shoulders and staring intensely at her face. "Okay yeah, I got nothing. I'm completely drawing a blank, but hey! At least I remember that I know you."

"It's fine, sempai, but are you going to join the tennis team?" Asa gestured towards the tennis courts.

"Um . . ." Ryouko opened her mouth to answer and then closed her mouth again. "Maybe . . . ?" She gave Asa an apologetic look at raised her hands in defeat. "I want to, but it's weird. I have this weird feeling about joining."

"You should really join anyways! It'll be greatest thing that you will ever do in your life!" Asa gave Ryouko a one hundred watt smile and handed her a piece of paper. "Here's the registration form. I really hope you join."

"You know what? I'm going to do it!" Ryouko gave Asa a huge smile. "Yeah, I remember being on the girls' tennis team in middle school, so I'll probably make it again. I mean, I was a regular at Yamabuki during my first and second year in high school, so I still have some skills."

"I'm sure you'll make it," Asa reassured. Her eyes twinkled in excitement, and she bounced on the balls of her feet. She couldn't wait to tell Etsumi about Ryouko joining.

.

"So is this all I have to do to be a regular?" Ryouko asked Etsumi. The sun was beating down on the girls' tennis team, and she stood confidently in front of all of the regulars. Some were gaping at her from behind Etsumi, and Etsumi just stared at her curiously.

"Well?" Ryouko repeated. "What do I have to do around her to get a regular's position?"

"Hmm," Etsumi coughed. She glanced at Akahana and Kagami behind her who were both staring at Ryouko incredulously. "Since we had already determined regulars before the school year started, you'll have to have a challenge match against any regular that you want the spot of."

"So I could challenge you for singles one if I want to, right?"

"Well, there's going to be no chance that you'll get it, but yes, if you want to, you can challenge me for singles one."

"Hmm, I'll have to decide."

"Etsumi-buchou," Asa piped up from behind Etsumi. "Can't she just beat all of the regulars to earn a spot? That's what Akahana-sempai and Kagami-sempai did to be a part of the regulars, not to mention me too."

"I suppose she can," Etsumi agreed. "Let's see what you can do then."

.

Ryouko bounced on the balls of her feet. Sweat ran down her forehead, but she just wiped it away eagerly. Her tongue stuck out of the right side of her mouth, and she grinned wickedly at her opponent across the net.

Her opponent warily served, and Ryouko quickly dashed over to the corner of the service box, hitting it to the other side of the court. The girl she played against ran to get the ball, but her racquet barely nicked the ball, sending it into the net.

"Game! Set! Match to Usagi!" Etsumi called out. "Final score: six to three, six to four."

"Yes!" Ryouko shouted. She threw her racquet down and jumped around the court.

"Ryouko-san, I will warn you now that unsportsman-like behavior will not be tolerated on the girls' tennis team," Etsumi warned, climbing down from the umpire's chair.

"Sorry, _buchou_," Etsumi grinned. She headed over to the rest of the regulars to shake hands with all of them. She stopped in front of Kagami and Akahana and shook both of their hands again. "Hi guys," she greeted. "Sorry, I haven't really contacted you guys for the past three years."

"It's fine," Kagami reassured, looking into Ryouko's eyes.

"I don't really remember anything after nationals during second year," Ryouko admitted sheepishly. She rubbed the back of her head and glanced at the ground.

"It's fine really," Akahana repeated.

"How strange though," Kagami muttered. Ryouko had rushed off to high-five all of the other regulars and jumping up and down with enthusiasm.

"I think it's good she forgot," Akahana whispered.

"What?" Kagami whipped her head around to look Akahana directly in the eye.

"I just think it's good that she can forgive and forget."

"She didn't _forgive_," Kagami scoffed. "She just forgot. It is possible for people to lose some of their memory if they've been through a traumatic event."

"Look at how happy she is though," Akahana insisted. "She didn't forget any of _us_. She just forgot everything that happened to us after nationals ended. And you know what? That's great. She's happy now, and she's not bitter like you are, Kagami. She can move on and continue to play tennis without having a stick stuck up her ass like you seem to have. Just calm down and forget about it, will you? It's been three years! And I'm trying to forget, but it's so hard because you just keep bringing it up again. I'm trying to enjoy my life."

Kagami stared long and hard at Akahana. Her eyes withering even behind her glasses. "You are suppose to learn from your mistakes and not let it happen again."

"Etsumi did learn! She hasn't lost a nationals since that year."

"You can't just forget the fact that they ran you out of Rikkai."

"They didn't run me out, they didn't force me to leave, Kagami. I chose to leave because I couldn't handle the pressure of being perfect! I didn't want to always be a winner, and I didn't always want to be perfect because I am _not_ Shiori, and I am _not_ Yukimura. And it just goes to show that after that year, Shiori wasn't so perfect after all, even though we all thought she was."

"I'm not like you, I can't just forget." Kagami shook her head slowly.

"Well, if you're not going to forget, at least try to enjoy yourself, this is our senior year after all." Akahana walked off in the direction Ryouko had, and joined in on dancing and high-fiving.

"I declare we celebrate this momentous occasion!" Ryouko burst out. "Takoyaki is on me!"

Ryouko got pushed around by her teammates. They clapped her on the back and cheered. She felt surrounded and . . . at home. She gave out an earsplitting laugh and grabbed some of her teammates around the neck. She saw Akahana waving her arm around and shouting something happily. The pink haired teenager burst out in laughter before breaking through the crowd to rub Ryouko's head.

Asa was on the outskirts, she stood on tiptoes, giggling merrily as she tried to force her small body to the center. She looked much younger than the others even though she was only one year younger.

Etsumi stood some ways back, grinning at the sight before her. Never had the team been so unified before. The team barely listened to her on most days, and they saw outsiders as enemies, even when they were on the team, but they were cheering for Ryouko.

"You know they're only doing that because she said she would pay for takoyaki, right?" Kagami asked from beside her.

"Yeah, I know," Etsumi grinned, "but for now, I think that's just fine because no matter what the reason, they're all still cheering."


	7. he's got a soul as sweet as bloodred jam

**A/N:** Hi everyone, I know it's been a while, but I made up for it by uploading a SUPER LONG chapter.

Also, PLEASE PLEASE READ THE AUTHOR'S NOTE AT THE END AS IT EXPLAINS SOME THINGS IN THIS CHAPTER THAT WOULD HELP YOU READERS TO UNDERSTAND.

Thank you for reading! And I apologize in advance for the super long A/N at the end. Read it though! It will clear things up. Haha.

* * *

><p><strong>Winners and Losers<strong>

_follow . me_

{he's got a soul as sweet as blood red jam

and he shows me, he knows me

every inch of my tar black soul}

_til . we . reach . that . bright . place_

Shiori's fingers moved quickly, sewing on the ribbons to her pointe shoes as she waited for the next season's listing of dancers to come out on the callboard. She glanced every so often at the other dancers grouped around her, whispering who they thought would be the next soloist or principal dancer.

"You have a good shot, right Shiori-san?" a girl named Gina whispered. "You're not the only high schooler here in the Matsuyama Ballet Company, but you might be the first one to become a principal."

"Maybe," Shiori whispered. She tried hard to concentrate on the task at hand.

"Don't you go to school with Tsuchiyama-san?"

Shiori looked up from her shoes and looked across the hall at the group of girls clustered near the callboard, waiting for the director to come out and tack it to the cork. Among them was Tsuchiyama Ana. She played with her blonde hair and giggled with the girls as they waited, and she hated Shiori.

"It's not fair that we're the same age and you get all the attention from the director," she had once said to Shiori. "You're probably sleeping with him, aren't you? That's why he pays so much attention to you."

Shiori had chosen to ignore her, knowing that Ana was just jealous.

"You need to eat more," Gina commented.

"What? Trying to fatten me up so I get behind others?" Shiori joked, though it wasn't uncommon for her fellow dancers to do such a thing.

"No, but remember Kaori-san?"

"Oh." Shiori's face turned serious and she concentrated more on her pointe shoes, trying not to think about Hiko Kaori.

"She was such a great principal dancer."

Shiori tightened her core and sat up straight, staring at the wall. "She really was one of the best." Shiori closed her eyes and thought back on the previous year at the company. Kaori had started extreme dieting to keep herself from gaining any weight, eating only a handful of nuts and an apple for every meal. Six months after she became the principal dancer, she collapsed onstage and was diagnosed with a blood disorder similar to hemophilia because of her dieting. And there were other girls who had also had thyroid problems from not eating.

Shiori clenched her jaw, thinking of the meals that she had been eating lately. Her lunch of spinach and chicken broth would be able to carry her through the rest of the day until she could eat her small dinner of lettuce and small apple slices with thin strips of skinless turkey. She had stopped eating carbs long ago, and she avoided nuts because they had fatty oils in them. She had stopped two months ago when all of the dancers had to weigh in. When she stepped on the scale, the ballet mistress had said that Shiori gained two pounds and that her breasts were too big to be a ballerina's.

"Ahh!" Some girls had screamed, rushing towards the callboard. The director squeezed himself out from the crowd and walked past Shiori and Gina, giving them a small smile before heading to his office.

"Looks like the new season's up," Gina said, stretching. She grabbed Shiori's arm and forcefully dove into the crowd until they reached the callboard.

"Shiori-san look!" Gina shouted in her ear above the noise of the other girls, who were either groaning in exasperation or squealing in excitement.

Shiori lifted her eyes to look at the sheet of paper tacked onto the cork.

_**Miu Shiori: Principal Soloist**_

_The Little Mermaid: Little Mermaid_

_Jewels: Rubies Solo_

_Giselle: Giselle_

_Coppelia: Swanhilde_

"You're the new principal!" Gina shouted again, grinning wildly at the girl.

"Um, excuse me?" Ana sneered at Shiori. "Ballet Mistress Yoko wants to see you." She grinned wickedly at Shiori before glaring at the sheet, her name under the section of the _corps de ballet_, the background dancers basically that played the roles of flowers and snowflakes that danced on stage.

Shiori fast walked over to the weight room where the girls worked out and where the scale was.

"Congratulations, Miu-san," Madame Yoko greeted. She led the girl to the scale and beckoned her to stand on it.

"You've lost weight!" Madame Yoko commented in delight. "Almost four kilos! Amazing!"

Shiori's stomach grumbled and clenched. She had no doubt in her mind that losing her weight also made her lose her muscle mass. She trained for an extra two hours every day and took pilates classes five times a week whenever she was free to gain back the muscle that she surely lost with the weight. It was becoming increasingly hard for her to dance some of the moves and perform onstage.

"You're doing wonderfully," Madame Yoko said again before patting Shiori on the shoulder.

.

"Why is practice always so difficult?" Marui huffed. He bent over his knees and blew out a long breath. Him and the rest of the regulars had just finished running the laps that Sanada assigned.

"Because Yukimura-buchou and Sanada-fukubuchou are running the practices," Jackel replied, sweat gleamed on his bald head and he rubbed it quickly.

"Pupina~" Niou whistled out from between his teeth, sitting on the bench near the rest of the regulars.

"So I heard that Shiori-san is in your class," Jackel commented.

Niou looked at him over his shoulder and smirked. "So is Ryouko-san."

"Oh, and Sanada-fukubuchou too I heard," Marui added.

"Yeah. It's tons of . . . fun," Niou replied. "I mean, who else is lucky enough to have a class with the chairman of the Public Morals Committee. I just get away with _everything_ in that class." He rolled his eyes and grabbed a towel from his bag before heading towards the locker room.

"It's starting to get kind of chilly now that it's October," Marui stated.

"You know what else October brings other than chilly weather?" Niou asked, a smirk plastered to his face.

"What?"

"Halloween. The night to pull all the pranks or sleep with anyone you want because no one will know who you are." Niou chuckled and Marui threw Niou a disgusted look.

"You're probably only going to go pull pranks or egg someone's house or something."

Niou slowly shrugged his shoulders. "You never know."

The rest of the regulars started to congregate in the locker room as practice came to a close. Yukimura stood before everyone with his jacket gracefully draped around his shoulders, a stern yet kind expression on his face as he coughed to gather everyone's attention.

"As you all know, regionals are coming soon. The Kantou tournament is just around the corner, and I think it's safe to say that all of you are working hard."

He took a breath as some people fidgeted. Yukimura's steely gaze stole the breath out of the nonregulars, the ones that weren't used to talking to him all the time.

"We have to beat Seigaku this year," Yukimura continued. "I will not accept a defeat from them ever again. And even though it's been two, almost three years since our pitiful loss against them in both regionals and nationals, I intend to have us beat them in every tournament that they're ever in. For most of you, this will be your last year in high school tennis, and I'm sure that none of us would like to spoil our senior year by losing right?"

"Yes, sir!" all of the members shouted. They were compelled to.

The nonregulars shuffled out, grabbing school bags and books, and only the regulars were left in the room.

"I'm planning on hosting challenge matches soon," Yukimura announced to his fellow friends. "I'm telling you all this before I tell the nonregulars because I want you guys to train harder. Everybody is replaceable. Even my friends. And I'm telling you this as your friend, because as much as I would hate to see any of you lose your regular spot, I won't keep you on the team if there's someone that's _better_. So prepare yourselves." Yukimura nodded once to all of them before leaving with both Yanagi and Sanada.

"Well . . . that was something," Marui mumbled, popping a bubble and shoving his tennis bag into his locker, banging on the locker door.

"Calm down, Bunta," Niou said. "We've been regulars for as long as anybody can remember, and there's no one else out there better than us. Seigaku and Hyotei can't even compare. That's why for the past two years they haven't won against us."

"Don't be so cocky," Yagyuu spat. His gentlemanly composure gone for that second as he thought about what Yukimura said.

Niou raised an eyebrow in wicked surprise, smiling. "The Golden Pair is broken, that Echizen kid is in America, and all of the Hyotei regulars are too busy being pompous asses to pay attention to tennis," he continued.

Kirihara sat on a bench in the corner, his eyebrows knit together in concentration "I might beat them this time," he muttered to himself.

"Don't kid yourself," Niou scoffed. Kirihara's head snapped up at Niou's voice. "Get your head out of the clouds. You'll never beat any of them. None of us will. It's a wonder that Echizen kid ever did."

"Niou!" Jackel bellowed. His eyes popped out of his head and his mouth was set in a disapproving line.

"You can't be his babysitter forever, Jackel," Niou pointed out. "We're graduating this year, and Baby Kirihara here will be left to be the next captain. He can't do that if he's weak and left believing in impossible dreams."

"I'm not a baby!" Kirihara gritted. He pushed himself off the bench and shoved Niou into the lockers. His eyes taking on the strange red tint that came whenever he was in devil mode.

"Just get over yourself!" Niou hissed. "Grow up because you'll be graduating in another year too." Niou pushed past Kirihara and left the locker rooms, his mood spoiled for the entire day.

"Don't let him get you down too much," Jackel softly said, patting Kirihara's back.

The red was already draining out of his eyes. Marui offered him a weak smile before heading out with Jackel, and Yagyuu politely waited until Kirihara was done getting his things before he left too.

Kirihara slammed his locker door shut and left with clenched fists. His shoulders slumped as he headed towards the school building with shuffling feet. He rubbed his eyes and temples out of frustration. He was tired of trying to win against the Big Three. He was tired of trying to win and failing at it.

.

Yukimura, Sanada, and Yanagi sat at a lunch table near a corner of the cafeteria. They had invited the other regulars, but they had all politely declined with excuses of homework or extra training during lunch.

"Look what my parents gave me," Yukimura hummed quietly, sliding slips of paper across the table so that his two friends could see. They were tickets to a ballet entitled _The Little Mermaid_. A girl's upperbody was printed on the ticket, her wavy brown hair was adorned with seashells and her arms stretched out far above her, reaching for something she couldn't get.

"So?" Yanagi asked, studying the picture. "Do you know the girl?"

"Yes, it's Shiori-san." Yukimura gave an involuntary smile and looked to his friends who stared back at him.

"Her parents are friends with mine." Yukimura gave as an explanation.

"Are you asking us to go with you?"

Yukimura shrugged his shoulders noncommittally. "She's the principal dancer now. She got the role over a month ago, and her parents invited my family to the first performance of the season."

"Is this the Disney version of the ballet?"

"It's the original version choreographed by John Neumeier."

"You're well informed," Sanada stated tartly. His chopsticks shoveled small bits of rice into his mouth. He avoided looking at both of his friends.

Yukimura's lips twitched into a wandering smile as his eyes settled on a spot on the wall. "Well, like I said, our parents are friends, much to her chagrin." His chopsticks dug into the plastic bento box he had, scraping away at the insides until little curls of plastic came out.

Yanagi sighed as he watched Yukimura. "At least she's succeeding in one thing."

Yukimura's chopsticks stopped immediately and he looked back to Yanagi. His eyes darkened slightly into a cobalt blue. "Yes, at least she's good at one thing."

.

"What? Tickets to a ballet?" Etsumi's eyes widened into plates as she started at the pink-haired girl in front of her.

"Shiori is the lead in it!" Akahana squealed. "Let's go support her!"

"Maybe she doesn't want us to come," Kagami pointed out. "She would have told us otherwise."

"I know!" Ryouko interrupted. "She is in my class after all, and she's barely said a word. I mean, she used to talk to me a lot and eat lunch with me, but for the past month she hasn't said anything to me at all."

"She probably doesn't want us to come then." Kagami grabbed the tickets out of Akahana's hands and studied them. "These tickets are four thousand yen each, how did you come up with the money to buy four?"

"I just asked my parents," Akahana replied. Her smile widened as she took in Kagami's shocked face. She reached over and snatched the tickets back from Kagami. "They were probably happy that I actually wanted to go see something 'artistically classy' or something like that."

"They were probably happy that you weren't partying," Kagami snapped. "We shouldn't go if she didn't invite us."

"Hey, we _bought_ these tickets okay? She can't do anything about it, and it's not like she gave us free tickets. If she did, _then_ she could actually say something about us coming, and she won't even know if we did or not."

"I don't know about this . . ." Etsumi coughed.

"We should do it," Ryouko suggested. "We can support her."

"I'm just upset that they didn't let me buy another ticket for Asa-chan," Akahana frowned. "She's such a sweet little kid."

"She's just a year younger than us."

"Doesn't matter." Akahana waved her hand in dismissal as grabbed her bag. "It's tonight and we're going."

.

The place was huge, almost comparable to the New York City Metropolitan Opera House. Hundreds of velvet clad seats spread across the floor in a half circle around the stage, framing the orchestra pit directly in front of it.

Etsumi almost lost her breath at the sight of the large building. The four girls took their seats around the middle, settling into the softness that the cushions provided. The theatre filled up faster than they expected, and the stuffiness of too many people in one room was lost when the lights dimmed and the orchestra started up.

The curtain raised itself to reveal a black background, a single pink shell lay on the stage, and a smaller, platform was set like a box of light in the blackness. A single man in a top hat and suit stood crying as he watched a man he loved get married and leave. Blue squiggles lit up parts of the stage, looking like waves as the Poet came down from the platform holding the shell to his ear, and the platform was pushed away, dancers in blue coming onto the stage.

Among the somberness of the setting, a single figure came out, carried by three men in black to match the background. Shiori's hair was curled and had shells interlaced to the braids that adorned her head. Her face was painted white and a long pant-like silk covered her legs, making it look like she had a mermaid tail.

During the first part of the ballet, Shiori's playful dance and bright-eyed face gave off a whimsical feeling. She moved as if she was swimming gracefully underwater and the expression on her face was of child-like wonder. She was a perfect specimen living in a world that had no faults.

When she bargained with the sea witch for legs, her face turned into a look of silent pain as the witch ripped off her tail; her mouth opened in a scream that couldn't be heard but resonated excruciating pain to the whole audience. Her eyes cast a look of absolute terror and loathing as the one thing that made her perfect, was ripped from her body.

.

After the last scene in the ballet, Shiori rushed into her dressing room, grabbing the nearest trashcan and vomiting into it. Her body trembled uncontrollably as she heaved up the little lunch that she had. She didn't notice the knock on the door, and when Yukimura entered, she didn't look up to see who it was until she fell back against the vanity. For the past few days, everything she ate came back up within a matter of hours.

Yukimura closed the door behind him and stepped over to Shiori, towering directly above her. So unreachable that it made Shiori feel like her heart was being uncomfortably squeezed by him. It made her sick.

"You did good," he offered, handing her a small towel from the chair in the corner.

She yanked it out of his grasp and wiped her mouth, staring at his calves instead of at his face.

"Tell your parents 'thank you' for the tickets. It was very kind of them, and my family is very pleased by your performance." He didn't kneel down to check on her, refusing to get down to her level it seemed.

Shiori's hair was in disarray and she wore nothing but a thin, white shift from the ending scene where she had ripped off her ugly pink dress and attempted to be a mermaid again after losing her love to another. The desperation that the mermaid felt in that scene was real, and Shiori couldn't wait to get off the stage. It hit too close to home. She had been desperate to go back to the way things were, almost as desperate as the little mermaid was to become a mermaid again in order to not feel the despair that she had felt when she turned human.

Yukimura didn't offer any assistance as she slowly got back to her feet, avoiding his cool gaze, instead choosing to look at the collar of his suit. He put a strong hand on her shoulder and it made her want to shiver from the radiating coldness.

"You were good," he repeated.

It had been a few years since she last saw him even though their parents were intimate friends.

"You can look at me, you know," he chuckled, but she knew that if she looked, it would be like having the Yips performed on her. His words were lilting and soft, but the grip he still had on her shoulder dug painfully into her skin, and she wanted to cry a bit.

Her mouth was paper dry, and her tongue tasted vile.

"You are good at something after all." His words felt like a needle at the back of her neck, digging into her skin. "Maybe you should join the tennis team again."

_So you can fail_.

She had been trying to avoid this, this confrontation with Yukimura. She would've gladly taken anybody else on, but whenever she thought of Yukimura, a paralyzing fear snaked up from the bottom of her spine and wedged itself into her throat, causing her to feel suffocated.

"Sanada told me how strong you are, how you seem to have shed that old pathetic self."

Shiori stiffened and looked at the ground. She _had_ shed that old self. She _had_ become strong. She _was_ strong, but Yukimura could snatch that all away within a second. He could manipulate and control her as easily as he did everyone else.

She was no exception.

She tried to be strong and pull herself up. She very much _was_ strong, but everything was hazy. Yukimura seemed to affect her more that moment than he ever did before. He was trying to subtly manipulate her, and for once, since she came back, it was working.

Her vision was tilting, and she wasn't sure it was from him. For the past month, her vision had been swaying and she could barely eat anything. Why was he affecting her so much in this one moment? She had never felt this weak before.

"Shiori-san, are you okay?" His perfect face peered into her own, and she only caught a glimpse of cobalt before she collapsed in his arms.

.

"Oh my god, my child!" Shiori's mom wailed. Her hands clutched at a handkerchief, wringing it until the fabric started fraying. Her sobbing hiccups echoed up and down the hall outside of the emergency unit Shiori was in. Her face grew bony and older as her husband wrapped an arm around her.

"Let's go for a walk, okay dear?" He suggested to his wife. Shiori's dad slowly lifted her up from the plastic chair, helping her as if she would crumble into a million pieces. They slowly shuffled away. Yukimura's parents nodded their heads sadly to the group of teenagers before heading off towards the other couple, trying to find a way to comfort them.

Akahana, Kagami, Etsumi, and Ryouko sat across from Yukimura, Yanagi, and Sanada.

"I'm leaving," Shiori's younger brother, Takei, grunted.

He abruptly shoved away from his seat and fast walked away, Yukimura's younger sister, Chiyo, rushed to catch up with him, shouting, "Wait!" She quickly looked over her shoulder and bowed to the others before grabbing Takei's arm and following him as he turned the corner and left.

A silence hung over the seven like a wet blanket, smothering them.

"What did you do to her?" Etsumi spat, looking at Yukimura from across the hall.

"I didn't do anything," he replied. His eyes an icy sapphire.

"You fucking liar! I know what you can do to people. You're a despicable person who picks on those who you hate."

"I don't hate Shiori," he defended. "Far from it."

Yukimura seemed completely relaxed even as Etsumi was quivering from rage.

"He didn't do anything," Ryouko whispered. "Shiori isn't weak enough to be pulled into whatever he can do. You should know that more than anyone after she beat you so badly."

Etsumi whipped her head towards the black-haired girl. Ryouko looked her in the eyes and sighed, Kagami sat tight-lipped, staring at a poster about cancer on the wall, and Akahana's head drooped towards the ground, her eyes focused on the green linoleum.

"That is quite enough for accusations tonight," Sanada stated.

"What happened?" Kagami demanded.

The girls had been waiting outside when an ambulance pulled up to the curb, and paramedics rushed inside, bringing out an unconscious Shiori with Yukimura right behind them. The girls had all piled into a car and left to the hospital along with Shiori's and Yukiumura's families, tagged along by Yanagi and Sanada.

"She was sick, and vomiting, and trembling when I came into the dressing room. She acted like how she acted right before she left Rikkai, so I didn't take any notice of it, and then she collapsed."

The seven of them sunk back into a forced silence as they waited for the diagnosis. Shiori's and Yukimura's parents came back ten minutes later, and they too sat silently.

After another hour of waiting, a doctor came out of the room, a somber expression plastered on his face.

"Doctor! My daughter!" Shiori's mother wept, clinging onto his sleeve. He gently gave her back to her husband and looked at Shiori's dad.

"Does your daughter have an eating problem?" he bluntly asked.

"E-eating problem?" Shiori's dad repeated. His eyes became wide.

"Yes, I ask because she has a thyroid condition that develops because of a poor diet."

"My daughter has an eating problem?!"

"You said that she dances in a ballet company right? Ballet dancers are known for having strict diets, and in some cases, they even starve themselves to lose weight in order to perform better because body fat or any extra bulk causes them to lose their balance and grace when dancing in pointe shoes. I've seen this case before, and your daughter isn't the first in here with a thyroid disorder."

"Thyroid disorder . . ." Shiori's dad echoed absently as his wife sobbed harder into his suit jacket.

"We can give her medicine to help, but that's only half of the battle. She needs to start eating properly again. She also has extremely high blood pressure which is a result of all of the stress that she felt during the past week or two. If I were you, I'd take her out of ballet. Maybe enroll her in a different sport that isn't so physically and mentally demanding."

The doctor gave them a weak smile before heading down the hall, probably to write a prescription for the thyroid pills Shiori would have to take.

"We'll drive you home," Yukimura's dad offered and Shiori's dad nodded in shock.

That left the seven alone again.

"A thyroid disorder," Akahana mumbled, all traces of her fun demeanor drained out of her.

"An eating disorder," Kagami noted.

"High blood pressure," Etsumi added. Her voice cracked as she looked towards the door to Shiori's room.

"She let the sport overcome her," Yanagi stated.

"It should have been the other way around," Yukimura began. "She should've been the one overcoming the sport." His hands were shoved into the pant's pockets, and a storm was brewing behind his eyes, the only sign of the distress he felt.

Sanada refused to lift his gaze. He just simple cleared his throat and asked if he could spend the night at Yukimura's.

"Of course," Yukimura replied. His lips grew razor thin as he stared at the emergency room door. "I admire her," he admitted.

The other six raised their heads and looked at him in surprise.

"True athletes will do anything to be amazing, to be perfect." Yukimura's hands involuntarily rubbed at his blue hair. "There are many professionals out there who would let their livers fail by using too much cortisone just to win."

They waited silently for his explanation.

"I admire that she would give up everything to be the best at what she can do."

* * *

><p><strong>AN:**Wow, what a chapter right? Some of this probably doesn't make too much sense, haha, so I'll explain it.

1) Most of you are probably wondering "Hmm, what was up with Kirihara?" The answer is: he is relating to how the girls felt when they lost nationals in their second year of middle school.

2) "Why was Shiori weak?" There is a simple explanation for that. When I wrote that scene with Shiori after her performance, SHE WAS ALREADY SICK. She was already physically weak from her eating disorder and from her thyroid disorder, and she was SO stressed out over being the principal dancer that she wasn't mentally prepared to deal with Yukimura. In my opinion, Yukimura can be _extremely_ manipulative and he has this . . . ability to make people around him feel inferior. I mean, come on! He's the _child of god_. He just radiates perfection, and I think that the people around him probably feel inferior. Shiori was already weak (mentally and physically) from ballet, and when Yukimura came in, she sort of just froze and felt inferior and despair similar to what she probably felt when everything was being blamed on her after her team lost. Yukimura seems perfect to everyone, and to Shiori, he is the embodiment of what she couldn't be all those years ago. Under any other circumstance, Shiori would've acted strong, cold, and even indifferent to him, but this is a special circumstance you guys. She was_ sick_.

3) "Why does Yukimura admire Shiori?" If you think about it, their circumstances are very similar. Shiori went to extreme lengths to be able to be the best, and we all know that Yukimura risked a surgery that only had a 50% chance of survival to be able to play tennis again. He admires that they're similar in that way.

4) Cortisone is a medicine that athletes use to help inflamed muscles. It can cause serious liver damage if used a lot.

5) "The pairings in this fic are so confusing!" I will admit to that. Haha. I had set pairings up before I started this fic, and then I started writing . . . So far there is basically no romance and no pairings. I'm not even sure if I should stick with the pairings I had before! So I leave this one up to you guys.

Who do you guys think should be paired up? AND who do you think the pairings are now? Put this in a review! I will _definitely_ put in the pairing that you guys want the most. Since there's practically _no_ pairings now, I'm letting you all decide who you want together. One thing though: NO ETSUMI/YUKIMURA pairing. It's unnatural to write, and their chemistry is zero. Haha.


	8. but when she left, gone was the glow

**A/N**: Hey guys! Sorry for the super late update. I was super busy. Guess on what!

I was super busy with my school play! I was in it :) It was pretty exciting being on stage and everything I'll have to admit. So sorry for not updating! There were just so many rehearsals! But it's all over with now and I am on winter break!

Also, for some reason my laptop is being really weird. It restarts randomly while I'm writing or it'll just black out while I'm writing! I'm so frustrated because all of my stuff doesn't get saved or anything. Does anyone know anything about this? What can I do to make it stop?

Also, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter! It's a little dark (again). And I don't know if I really like how I portrayed teh characters. I might just delete this chapter and rewrite, but here it is. Merry Christmas everyone!

* * *

><p><strong>Winners and Losers<strong>

_follow . me_

{bluer than velvet were her eyes

warmer than may her tender sighs}

_til . we . reach . that . bright . place_

"You already know your situation."

Sanada sat sternly across from Nadeshiko who had started playing with her own dirty blond hair. Sanada was the head chairman for the school's Disciplinary Committee.

"Are you listening, Sato-san?"

"No," she replied flatly.

"It has been brought to my attention," Sanada took a deep breath, "of the _activities_ that you've been doing, and it would be in your best interest if you stopped."

"My best interest?" Nadeshiko raised her eyebrows slightly and gave a cool glare that could rival some of Sanada's most fiery ones. "How do you know what's in my best interests?"

Sanada rubbed the bridge of his nose and looked up again. "Rikkai's reputation is on the line."

"It's not like I'm the only girl in the school doing this, and it's not like other schools don't have girls like me."

"Please just take into consideration the reputation that we uphold. Not everyone can get into Rikkai, and you're lucky that you're one of the few that made it."

.

Akahana lazily poked through her locker, throwing in papers and ripping notebooks in the process. She was trying to wrap her mind around what had happened to Shiori. She had always seemed like such an invincible captain. Like Yukimura in some ways.

"My condolences, Hoshiyo-san," a low voice said from behind her locker door.

Akahana moved her locker door and stood staring at Yagyuu Hiroshi.

"Um, what?" was Akahana's polite reply.

"I heard about what happened to your friend, Miu-san. I hope she gets better." He nodded his head and held out an envelop.

"What's this?" Akahana reached out to grab the card as she stuffed it carelessly into her locker. Yagyuu flinched at the spilling papers, the torn notebooks, and the textbooks that would go from being "new" to "bad" just by being in Akahana's stuffed locker for a year. It was too messy.

"It's a 'Get Well' card for Miu-san," Yagyuu stiffly replied, tearing his eyes away from the junk stuffed tight in the small space. He had the strange urge to organize it.

"Such a _gentleman_," Akahana mocked in a high voice. She sighed and looked back at his flawless demeanor. "I'll get it to her. She'll appreciate it, I think."

Yagyuu smoothed his bangs and pushed his glasses up. Some of the girls around the two stared obviously.

"Well, see you in class then, Hoshiyo-san," Yagyuu gave as a farewell.

"Buh-bye."

Akahana slammed her locker door and started to shove the notebooks she took from her locker into her backpack.

"Akahana-sempai!"

"Hmm?"

Asa came skipping up towards the older girl, stopping to lean against someone else's locker. A pink blush bloomed on her cheeks and she crossed her arms over her chest. "Some of my classmates have been bothering me about something . . ."

"Well?" Akahana raised an eyebrow, still trying to shove more stuff into her full backpack.

"Ano . . . you know how many girls like the boy regulars right?"

"Yeah, it's always been that way since . . . since before I came to Rikkai as a seventh grader four or five years ago."

"Well, it's no different now." Asa started poking her two pointer fingers together as her cheeks got red. "I really don't want to pry into your personal life. . ."

"Just spit it out Asa-chan. I really can't stand here talking to you all fucking day. No offense of course."

"There's a rumor about you and Yagyuu-sempai!" Asa blurted.

"Great, just what I fucking needed." Akahana gritted her teeth and started walking down the hall, leaving a fumbling Asa to try and catch up.

"Do you like him?" Asa huffed as she speed walked to catch up to Akahana.

"Not one bit. This stupid rumor probably got started after we read Shakespeare in class together."

"You two read Shakespeare?" Asa's eyebrows knitted together daintily.

"It's a long story."

Akahana rushed to her classroom and left a baffled Asa in the hall, looking embarrassed and on the brink of tears, but Akahana was too steamed to even think about trying to cheer up someone else much less herself.

"Are you okay?" Kagami asked from beside her.

"I'm fine," Akahana replied, forcing her voice to be steady. She kicked her bag under the desk, knocking it against the chair in front of her. She mouthed a "sorry" as the girl sitting before turned around and bestowed her a glare.

"You don't seem to be so well," Kagami stated, fixing her notebooks on her desk until the angles lined up with the angles of the desk.

Akahana rolled her eyes, slumping in her seat with her arms crossed as she watched her friend organize every pencil and notebook. It was such a . . . such a _Yagyuu_ thing to do. She scoffed and glanced over at the gentlemen who was having a scholarly discussion with Yanagi. Typical. Marui Bunta sat behind the two, nearly falling asleep from listening to the conversation.

"Are you listening?" Kagami asked.

Akahana turned around to face the blonde. "Not really."

"I was asking you what you were looking at."

"Nothing. Akahana shifted in her seat. "Hey, did you hear a rumor about me?"

"Oh that." Kagami made a sour face before continuing. "There was just something about you and Yagyuu-san being secretly in a romantic relation. People said that the way you two acted during the Shakespeare reading wasn't acting at all. They said it seemed too real."

"Um, hello? There's a reason why there are _good _actors and _bad _actors. I just happen to be a good one, and so is Yagyuu-san I guess. Stop suggesting things. You _know_ me."

"I wasn't suggesting anything."

"It doesn't matter." Akahana flashed her blue eyes at the blonde before tossing her hair over her shoulder haughtily. "I'm going to have some much needed relaxation tonight."

Kagami stared hard at her friend before turning away first. She wouldn't be able to stop Akahana from being who she was.

.

"So how has my doubles partner been, eh?" Niou asked, grabbing Yagyuu's shoulders and steering him away from the lunch room. "I was just wondering because apparently things have been getting _hot _with you and your secret _love-ah_."

"You know those are just rumors," Yagyuu replied calmly. His glasses glinted as he turned away from Niou, shrugging his arm off as he shuddered at the thought of being with such a wild and almost barbaric girl.

"Who would have expected. A gentleman of the highest level and a party girl. Just like _Romeo __and Juliet_. But not really. If you ask me, it's a match made in heaven."

"That's why no one asks you anything, Niou-san." Yagyuu started walking back towards the cafeteria. Niou was hot on his heels as he tried to steer the conversation back to the topic of the pinkette.

"So I heard she's going to a wild bash tonight, are you going to go? You know, to control her just in case she gets out of control."

"Hoshiyo-san and I barely know each other, and we've never spoken before the other day."

Niou reached out and yanked on Yagyuu's sleeve until he nearly stumbled back. "Live a little. It's a Friday night, and I'm going to be there. You should come, unless you really can't stomach such a crowd." Niou shook his head before slinking off towards the front of the school.

.

Yagyuu pushed through the crowd of bodies pressing hotly against him. The throbbing music was giving him a throbbing headache, and his feet were protesting the confines of his shoes since they were swollen from being stepped on so much. He broke out to the other side, but all he could see was a mass of writhing and grinding bodies covering every square inch of linoleum. The only uncovered area was near the bar, but it wasn't much better considering the large crowd of drunk teenagers slung over some of the seats, slopping vodka down their shirts.

A flash of silver popped up to Yagyuu's right. He saw sparkling white teeth before he saw the mischievous face that accompanied it.

"You came after all," Niou smirked. Yagyuu could see the eyes on Niou from the girls on the dance floor, beckoning him with their bodies.

"Only because you challenged me to do so," Yagyuu replied without a hint of unease. Although his hands were shaking from being in such a strange and almost unnerving atmosphere.

"I thought you'd be used to this. After all, I am, and you do have some experience in being me," Niou said. His ponytail clung damply to his neck and his shirt showed signs of perspiration. He noticed Yagyuu's critical stare and turned back to the dance floor. "I shouldn't leave the ladies waiting for too long," he reasoned. "Better get back to them."

In seconds Niou was swallowed back up by the crowd. Only the very tips of his spiky, silver hair could be seen sometimes.

Yagyuu went back to scanning the teenagers pressed up against each other. The girls were wearing short, tight dresses that bared their cleavages and the boys wore jeans and t-shirts. He couldn't make out any pink in the sea of black, red, and blue; the only colors that the dancers were wearing.

In reality, Yagyuu only came to prove to Niou that he could survive in such an environment, but he'd be lying if he said he didn't worry about the pinkette sometimes. Although it was tiring to be such a gentleman all of the time, he still had the tendencies to worry about young girls who spiraled out of control. He always had the urge to pick Akahana up and _help_ her. She was so pathetic it almost wounded him to look at her. Whenever he saw her disheveled appearance he sometimes got a nauseous feeling in his throat.

He couldn't tell if what he really felt for her was just disgust or worry. Either way, it would be most ungentleman-ly of him to leave the girl alone when he could help her. On any other occasion he _would_ leave her alone, but Niou _challenged_ him, and even though they were friends, he hated the feeling of Niou being more powerful. Niou could adapt to anything and do anything. Compared to him Yagyuu felt so limited, it almost suffocated him.

Yagyuu walked over to the bar, hoping that they served something other than alcohol. His throat was constricted and he needed water fast. He sat on a bar stool and glanced to the people around him. Leaning on the counter was none other than Hoshiyo Akahana. Her pink hair hung limply around her face, and her tube top covered nothing but her breasts. Her midriff showed off a belly button ring that winked at him every time it caught the light.

"Hoshiyo-san?"

At the mention of her name, Akahana opened her sleepy eyes to stare blankly at the man in front of her. He wavered in and out of her vision, but she could make out who it was.

"Ya-Yagyeeee?" she stuttered and drew out his name as she moved close to him.

Yagyuu could smell the alcohol on her breath as she drew nearer. He resisted the urge to back off. Instead, he put a steadying hand on her shoulder and helped prop her up against the counter again.

Her dark blue eyes gleamed dully at him as she tried to express her thanks. Her face dropped in a second and she started playing with the straw in her drink.

"I think that is quite enough," Yagyuu snapped, grabbing the glass and shoving it down the length of the bar.

Akahana barely noticed, she drunkenly flopped her head around, a frown etched on her face. "Me. I'm such a coward," she slurred slightly, grabbing onto his knee to look him in the eyes. "I . . . I ran away from everything. And now Shiori is hurt." Akahana's head fell forward, but Yagyuu caught her in his arm, he tried to steady her again but she kept on leaning against him. "I ran away from my team." Akahana struck herself in the chest when she tried to emphasize what she did.

"You don't need to feel bad about that anymore," Yagyuu tried to comfort. His words were hollow to his own ears, but he hoped that in her drunken stupor she wouldn't be able to tell the difference.

"Haha . . . YEAH RIGHT!" Akahana screamed in his ear. She cuddled into his chest and flagged down the bartender. "Another drink. . . another . . . please."

"You have to go home." Yagyuu stiffened at her touch. He stood up and grabbed her arm, leading her outside.

Once the cool night air hit her, Akahana's eyes darkened slightly to a midnight blue. She tripped in her heels and fell into his arms. It was completely world altering to see her in such a state, Yagyuu thought. He compared the fiery girl he saw at school the the drunken slob that could barely stand up. They seemed like two completely different people.

"I wanted to dance," she whined as she pressed her body against his, swaying slightly to the bass that could be heard from outside the club.

"Ahem." Yagyuu grabbed her arms and held them away from him. "Where do you live?"

"It's not . . . around the corner . . . it's. . ." She stumbled into his arms again as she pointed to the tall apartment building around the corner. The air was getting colder and the only warm points on his body was where she was pressing against him.

"Shiori's in the hospital," Akahana whispered softly. Her head drooped, and Yagyuu had to half carry her as he started walking her home. "She's in the hospital. The hospital . . ." Akahana kept repeating to herself.

Yagyuu wondered if she felt guilty. She had basically admitted to being a coward for leaving Rikkai all those years ago. He walked in silence the rest of the way to her apartment. She kept speaking of Shiori being in the hospital.

"I'm such a loser aren't I?" Akahana asked almost clearly when he was trying to fit her apartment key into the door. "I lost and I . . . I left!" She banged her fist weakly against the door.

Yagyuu got her inside and left her on the couch. It was more than he bargained for in one night. He shouldn't have taken Niou's challenge. Who cared what his doubles partner thought of him? Who cared if his best friend thought he was a wimp? He sometimes wished he could be as carefree and wild as Niou. Or even as wild as Akahana, even though she was still haunted.

Yagyuu turned away from Akahana and headed to the door, but she grabbed his arm and pulled him towards her, pushing his hand against her body before kissing him wetly on the mouth.

"What are you doing?!" Yagyuu shouted. He pushed her away from him and walked towards the door.

"I live alone," Akahana whispered. "Can't I be like Nadeshiko for one night and forget like she does?"

Yagyuu's body shook and his glasses were askew on his face. He angrily pushed his hair from his face as he tried to calm his nerves. He was being a gentleman God dammit! He didn't expect to get ambushed by the girl. He resisted the urge to take the desk chair near the door and slam it on the ground. Yagyuu chanced a glance at Akahana lying on the couch before slamming the door shut behind him as he tried to leave her behind as fast as he could. In that one second when he saw her, Akahana's blue eyes looked clear, no drunken haze covered them.


	9. i'll go a little offtrack

**A/N:** I know it's been a long time guys, but I was just hit with nostalgia and decided to try fanfic again (for the nth time). Hopefully I can keep this up, I know that without all of you guys I wouldn't be able to continue.

* * *

><p><strong>Winners and Losers<strong>

_follow . me_

{i'll take the wrong path

i think i'll go a little offtrack

and now there's no way back}

_til . we . reach . that . bright . place_

"What is wrong with all of you?" Etsumi shouted. She barely ever raised her voice against the other girl regulars, but for once, she couldn't hold back her anger.

"Are you guys out of your mind?!" Etsumi threw her racquet against the floor. "I keep hearing this _rumors_ about all of you. And that's all I hoped they were, _rumors_. But I've gotten some reports about various going-ons about almost all of you.

"Akahana-san, I hear the worst about you."

"It's not like that anymore," Akahana muttered. "It's different now."

"How? How is it different now?"

"It just is! Okay?" Akahana's cheeks flushed from anger and she refused to look Etsumi in the eye. She hadn't even told Kagami about what had happened during the weekend with Yagyuu.

"Fine." Etsumi picked up her racquet again. "Everyone, start practicing," she huffed out before leaning against the chain link fence.

Akahana flounced off, glad to be out of the spotlight, leaving Kagami behind with Etsumi.

Kagami gave a sigh before walking over to Etsumi hesitantly. They both stood by the fence for a few minutes, not looking at each other or talking.

"You really need a vice captain," Kagami breathed, breaking the silence.

"I know." Etsumi replied with her head in her hands. "But it's not just that."

"What is it then?"

"I just . . . I think . . . I think we just need Shiori back."

.

When Shiori came back to school a week later, she held her head high and didn't make eye contact with anyone. So what if people heard about her? It didn't matter. Not so much anyways. She did what she had to in order to be the best, and the Rikkai students should be used to that sort of mindset by now.

She was kept in the hospital for a few days to get tested, and when she was finally released, her mother held her in an iron grip and chastised her for not eating properly. Her father stood there silently. There was only so much that the two of them could do, and even if they wanted to, they wouldn't be able to force feed their own daughter.

Shiori walked into her classroom unabashed and sat down. She saw Ryouko's worried stare and behind the black haired beauty was Niou, giving her a leer so downright dirty she wanted to go right back to the hospital. What was even worse was that she would eventually have to see Yukimura, and seeing him would bring about her insecurities, her weaknesses, everything that made her feel absolutely deplorable.

In her seat, Shiori could hear the other students whispering about the "anorexic" that came back to school. She ignored it because she knew it wasn't true. She ate. Not a lot, but she ate. Shiori pressed her palm flat against her ribs, feeling every bone individually. She knew the doctor was right, she wouldn't be able to dance anymore, not in the way she wanted to anyways. She had eaten so little for so long that she forgot what it was like to not feel her bones jutting out from her skin. However, over the past week, she had slowly regained her ability to eat, and she had put on a kilo or two. She knew that she had screwed over her own metabolism from the month that she barely ate, but she would fix it.

She always fixed everything eventually.

.

Yukimura was surprised when he saw Shiori back at school so soon. Even he wasn't deaf about the rumors. He had to admit though, she looked much better than when he saw her vomiting into a trashcan.

He was sitting at his lunch table with Yanagi and Sanada when Shiori walked by, not sparing him a glance.

"She looks okay," Yanagi stated.

"Yes," Yukimura agreed, pulling apart the piece of bread from his sandwich.

"Whatever you're thinking, don't do it."

"What?" Yukimura turned to look at Renji in surprise. "What are you talking about?"

Renji stared at Yukimura for a second before muttering, "Nothing."

Yukimura got out of his chair gracefully and excused himself from his friends. Sanada gave him a look but didn't try to stop him. Renji nodded his head and looked away, not wanting to look at his best friend. Yukimura gave them a smile and headed out, following the brunette as she exited the lunchroom and made her way outside. She stopped underneath a willow tree at the side of a building that most people made confessions of love under before sitting down beneath the drooping branches. Yukimura had been confessed to many times underneath the tree.

"Are you confessing to someone?" Yukimura asked, startling Shiori.

She didn't look up at him, just took a sip of water and said, "No."

"Then what are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same," she spat before she composed herself. "I'm just eating lunch." To emphasize her point, Shiori took a huge bite of her sandwich and chewed it slowly. Yukimura watched her delicate neck as she swallowed her food and finally looked him in the eye for a second before turning away.

"You look okay," Yukimura said, copying what Renji said earlier.

"I _am _okay."

Yukimura took a step forward and grabbed her wrist, yanking her up. She stumbled a bit against him before she stood and looked at the dirt. He didn't know why he was being so forward. He just knew he wanted her to look at him again, and her wrist was so thin thin thin in his hand that he could have squeezed and it would be broken. The fragile bones beneath her paper skin shifted a little as she tried to pull herself away, and he tightened his hold until she winced and looked up at him. And her eyes were so green green green as they stared into his own. And her lips parted for a second, just a second, another second before she said, "Stop." And he stopped because he was Yukimura and he was perfect.

And Shiori.

Was not.

.

Shiori stared at Yukimura, fear choking her and pulling at her. He looked at her hand before turning his gaze towards her and his eyes were cobalt and his mouth pulled itself into a smile.

"You should join the tennis team," he said to her again.

And she wondered if he just wanted to watch her fall again.

But he casually put his hands into his pockets and smiled at her, one of the smiles he gave everybody. Shiori had never realized how tall he actually was before as she stared up at him.

_He grew since middle school, _she thought. And then she realized she had never seen him like this outside of the tennis court before. She remembered the time she had come to watch him play a game against Hyotei in their junior year of middle school. And he was scary, and he was cold. And he made people feel as if they were nothing by giving them the Yips.

Yukimura smiled at her again. The smile that was so warm and so distant at the same time, and she was still trying to figure out how that could be possible.

"I really think you belong on the tennis team."

.

Kagami and Akahana walked together down the halls after school, heading towards the tennis courts when they ran into Shiori.

"Shiori!" Akahana flung her body at the thin girl and engulfed her in a hug. Her pink hair spilled onto Shiori's face and Shiori laughed because it tickled her. Akahana moved back and held Shiori's arms, staring at her. "We miss you so much."

"I'm sorry," Shiori said. Her eyes darted between the two girls in front of her.

"The tennis team needs you," Kagami ventured to say. She paused for a moment, biting her lip. "Etsumi said so. Everyone is lost without you."

"I'm not captain material."

"That's a lie," Kagami scoffed, crossing her arms.

Akahana dug into her bag, balls of crumpled paper fell to the ground as she searched deeper. She pulled out a slightly wrinkled piece of paper and handed it to Shiori who eyed it warily.

"This is a form to join the tennis team," Akahana brightly said. "Just fill it out and join, we know that you'll do good. You belong on the team with us."

Shiori gave a dark chuckle. Her eyes became unfocused as she stared at a spot behind Akahana's head. "That the second time someone said that to me today." She blinked her eyes a few times, but they still stayed unfocused, and Kagami bit her lip again.

"You two should probably get to practice," Shiori said. Her lips twitched into a semblance of a smile before she rushed off.

.

Michiru lounged around the tennis courts, watching the boys among dozens if not hundreds of other girls crowded along the fence. As the regulars played only quiet whispers flitted through the crowd. Unlike Hyotei where the girls and fans screamed their affections to the regulars, everyone stayed quiet during practice at Rikkai so as not to interrupt the regulars.

Michiru strained her neck to look over the sea of different colored heads. It was the only thing she could do after school since she still wasn't speaking to Nadeshiko after the "frigid bitch" comment. Michiru's cheeks reddened as she thought back on it. She was not a frigid bitch and if she wanted to she could . . . do that. She shook her head to rid herself of the thought.

Her eyes finally found the regulars again and she had to admit, they were _amazing_. There was no other way to say it, but it was almost as if they were inhuman, and this was just during practice. She hadn't seen them play since middle school, but she believed that now it would be even more incredible and unrealistic. She watched Niou who was Yagyuu who was Niou who was back to Yagyuu again and her head spun. They were playing against Marui and Jackal.

Someone bumped into her from behind and caused her to stumble against another girl.

"Sorry," Michiru mumbled as the girl in front of her glared.

"Hey, don't I know you?" the girl asked. "I feel like I've seen you before."

"Um, no. I'm new here."

"Oh." The girl turned away again without a second thought, and Michiru thought she heard the girl mumble something about how beautiful Yukimura was to her friend.

Michiru rolled her eyes. Yes, Yukimura was beautiful, but he was scary. Any girl who had free will would always be in a power struggle with him if they dated. Even she had noticed that he needed to always be in control. Maybe it was because he was afraid that if he wasn't in control then he would lose. She had heard some rumors about him being in the hospital during their last year of middle school with an illness that was life threatening. Michiru didn't know if it was true or not because she had transferred out before then, but if it was true then it did explain a lot.

"I heard his type it healthy girls. Wholesome girls," the girl said.

"I bet that's true! Yukimura-sama is so cool!"

Michiru tuned out at that point. Her eye was inadvertently drawn to the red head of the team, just because of his unnatural hair color. He popped the gum in his mouth and the sound was like a gunshot. The whispers around Michiru increased as some girls started talking about the red head.

Sometimes when Michiru watched the regulars play, she would feel a tug to play tennis again as well. Maybe she would join, but she knew that she wouldn't be a regular. She wasn't gifted at tennis like her other teammates were. She had to work hard just to be close to the level that they were on. She had never truly quit tennis though. She still played on the weekends sometimes with her family just for fun, but playing for fun and playing as a regular were two completely different things.

Marui made a point in the practice match and the crowd erupted into cheers. It was difficult sometimes to distinguish which regular the girls were going after. Nearly every day Michiru came and watched the boys practice. All of the boys were so filled with talent and natural ability that Michiru never got bored watching them after school.

Who cared about the past? At Rikkai where winning was everything, it should have been no surprise that the girls were to be ostracized after losing so incredibly badly. Michiru almost didn't blame them. _Almost_. However, now that she was back she wasn't being treated like how she was in middle school. Maybe the past really was the past. The regulars didn't hold any grudges against the girls' team, but the disappointment felt against them still caused tension between her old teammates and the regulars it seemed. Michiru could be very observant when she wanted to be.

She stood on her tiptoes to be able to see the match, but when the match winning point occurred everyone jumped up and screamed their lungs out. Michiru had no idea who won. Either doubles team would get the exact same reaction.

Like always, before practice ended, Michiru left the courts so she wouldn't be stuck trying to leave as everyone else was. She walked towards the water fountain and took a huge gulp of the water sprouting out.

"Sorano-san."

Michiru looked up and smiled at the guy in front of her. It was the student council secretary, Naito Keisuke.

"Naito-san," Michiru greeted with a wave. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Ah, no. Not exactly."

"What is it then?" Michiru played with her chin length hair, not sure about what Naito was going to say.

"Well, the student council was just wondering if you would like to join as our public relations officer."

"Are you serious?"

Naito smiled at the girl. "Yes. Completely. I was the one who had the idea. Our current public relations officer moved away, and I remember you from middle school. You were in student council then, right?"

"Well, yeah, but . . . yeah. You've got yourself a deal! Sure!"

"Great, we have meetings before and after school on Mondays and Fridays." Naito awkwardly reached out a hand and patted Michiru on the shoulder, his face turning red from the small contact. "I'll see you then."

"Yeah!"

Michiru watched him walk away before she reached into her pocket for her phone. The smile was so wide on her face it could have cracked in half. She was halfway through texting Nadeshiko the good news before she remembered that they were still angry at each other. Her phone was promptly shoved back into her pocket.

Michiru was tired of having no friends, and maybe by being in student council she could make some. Michiru kicked at the concrete, rubbing her toe back and forth before she decided to see if the rumors were true. Lately she's been hearing a lot of rumors. Rumors about Shiori being an anorexic. Rumors about her old teammates being back at the school. She hadn't seen anyone, but she just _had_ to know. With more confidence than she had in the past week, Michiru marched to girls' tennis courts, which was relatively empty compared to the boys' courts.

The sight that greeted her was one that she hadn't realized she missed in a long time. Kagami, Akahana, and Ryouko were laughing on the courts and seemed to be teasing their young kohai, Asa, who was blushing furiously about something. She could almost imagine all of them as young fifteen year olds again.

Her feet pushed her towards the courts. She wanted to be a part of that laughter like back in middle school. Kagami was the first to notice her. Her eyes behind her glasses were watery as soon as they landed on the black haired girl. Ryouko was the second to notice, and she pushed past the other girls to move outside of the courts.

"Michiru-chan?" Ryouko screamed before ambushing the girl. Akahana skipped out of the courts next, dragging along Kagami and Asa as they joined in hugging the girl.

And in that moment Michiru really could pretend that everything was okay. That four years hadn't passed by and that they were all still the closest of friends on their way to the nationals.

Akahana gave her an unpredictable grin before turning around and shouting, "Etsumi-buchou! Michiru is here!" She turned back to Michiru and grabbed her shoulders. "I heard a rumor about Nadeshiko-san and I was hoping that you were back too since I know that you guys were best friends."

"Why are you calling her Nadeshiko_-san_?" Michiru asked, but before she could answer Etsumi had arrived at their little group.

Etsumi's brown hair was windblown from running and her matching eyes were sparkling with something that Michiru couldn't decipher, but Etsumi's mouth was shaped into a grin.

"I can't believe you're actually back." Etsumi's voice was clouded before she buried her head into Michiru's shoulder.

Asa grabbed onto Michiru's hand and jumped up and down, giggling like a little girl at their reunion.

"Hey," Akahana said, serious and bursting with joy at the same time. "We're almost all back together again."

* * *

><p><strong>AN:**So I seriously still don't know the couples for this story. Let me know what you think they should be! Obviously some couples so far are more developed than others. There are already four couples set up: Shiori/Yukimura, Akahana/Yagyuu, Michiru/Marui, Asa/Kirihara. Let me know what you think of those couples and also let me know what the other couples should be!

This chapter is inspired by my friend's short story "How to Be Eaten by a Woman".

I don't own the Lana Del Rey song, "Big Bad Wolf", or any other Lana songs that I used the lyrics for in the other chapters and just forgot to disclaim it.


	10. stop looking at my train-wreck life

**A/N: **Hey guys! Sorry it's a little late, but at least I got it out right? Haha.

Anyways, thanks again for everyone who supported me with this story. I really appreciate everything. Also I'm on spring break right now, so I might be able to update again sometime this week or next weekend.

* * *

><p><em><em>follow . me<em>_

{baby i'm the real thing, check one two,

stop looking at my train-wreck life}

__till . we . can . reach . that . bright . place__

"Hey", Akahana said, serious and bursting with joy at the same time. "We're almost all back together."

She flashed her teeth in a wide smile, dazzling Michiru with her enthusiasm.

"So what are you doing here?" Ryouko asked. She bounced on the balls of her feet, excited to see Michiru again after so long.

"Um, I just thought I'd try and find you guys," Michiru answered honestly. "I had heard that you were all back here and um, yeah. I just, thought it was about time to go see if it was true or not."

Etsumi sighed, laying her hand on Michiru's shoulder and squeezing it. "It's so good to see you again. You have no idea." Tears glittered in her eyes before she hastily wiped them away.

And Michiru stood there, stunned by the smiles of her old friends all around her. The sun beat down on the small group and Michiru could feel her black hair heating up. Behind Etsumi's head she could see the rest of the girls team staring at them.

"Your team is staring at us," Michiru said.

Etsumi turned her head around and pursed her lips. "Five minute break, guys!" she shouted.

The girls standing around disbanded and walked away, their voices mingling into a buzz that could be heard from a distance.

"You shouldn't have done that," Kagami said to Etsumi. "Who knows if they'll even come back in five minutes. Maybe they won't come back at all."

"Ha, I mean, what can I do about it right?" Etsumi pushed her bangs off of her forehead and rubbed her right eye with her palm, laughing softly. Her voice cracked and she bent down, resting her head on her knees suddenly while the balls of her feet kept her up. "It's not like they'll ever listen to me or respect me right? God. It's exactly what Yukimura-san said."

"Hey, get up." Kagami grabbed Etsumi's upper arm and hauled her up. "If they see you like this then they will never accept you. You can't be feeling weak in public."

"Oh God, I don't know what got into me. Sorry." Etsumi gave another weak chuckle before turning back to the group. Her lips were thin and she didn't look them in the eye.

"So what's the deal?" Akahana asked, diverting attention from Etsumi. "Are you going to join the tennis team?"

"Oh no . . . oh God no." Michiru waved her hands in front of her face, shaking her head furiously.

"How come?"

"I'm just really bad at tennis now! I've barely played at all since middle school. It's been years."

"Join the team anyways!" Ryouko grabbed Michiru's arm and made a puppy dog face. Her eyes shone with fake tears and her bottom lip jutted out dangerously.

"I don't think so. I'd seriously just embarrass myself. Especially with what's expected from Rikkai."

"That has _never_ stopped people from joining the team," Akahana laughed. "Don't you remember all of the people who joined the team just to be a part of Rikkai's legendary team? Regardless if they were good or not. And don't forgot all of the people that joined just to get closer to the regulars."

"Fine," Michiru huffed. "I'll think about it, but one of you is going to have to play tennis with me so I can know how bad I've gotten. And it has to be in private, okay?"

Michiru blew at her hair and gave a pointed look to her old friends who continued to smile back at her for the most part.

Kagami stepped forward and motioned for Michiru to step away with her. Michiru shrugged her shoulders and followed Kagami to a spot ten feet away.

"Do you understand what you're getting yourself into?" Kagami asked under the breath.

"What?" Michiru whispered.

"If you're not a regular then I don't think it'll be a big deal—"

"I'm not going to be a regular, _trust me_. I'm pretty bad."

"Okay fine, but anyways, even if you're not a regular, I still don't know what the boys are going to say."

"What do you mean?"

"They'll notice that you're on the team, and . . . just . . . me, Akahana, and Ryouko just rejoined a month ago. Somehow I get the feeling that if you join the team, even as a non-regular, things are going to get weird. Are you going to be okay with that?"

"Um." Michiru pushed her hair behind her ears and gave a sigh, rocking back and forth on her feet. She struggled with her next words, and when they came out she spoke slowly and cautiously. "Well . . . I have you guys now . . . so . . . maybe it won't be such a big deal. Maybe. And I know you're worried for me, but . . . I'm tired of being alone right now. And I don't know if it was the same for you, but for me. . . just seeing everyone again. It . . . it gives me a feeling. Hope maybe? I don't know."

Kagami's blue eyes softened visibly behind her glasses and she relaxed for second before tensing up again. "Just understand that we're not in middle school anymore. We can't run away anymore, even if things get bad. Just know that, okay?"

"Okay, I get it."

"No, you don't. I know that Etsumi may seem okay and everything, but she's not. Can you even imagine how she felt when we all left her behind."

"She had Asa-chan," Michiru whispered.

"Yeah, but she also lost six of her closest friends. And you saw what just happened back there. Sometimes she's still shaken by it, and even though she never says it, what the boys think means a lot to her."

"Why? Why should they matter when they treated us so terribly?" Michiru just couldn't understand. The boys seemed okay, but why should Etsumi care so much.

"That's exactly why she cares. She doesn't ever want to go through that again." Kagami's hands flew to grip at Michiru's own. "Do you understand me? We can't let her down this time."

"I understand."

Even though Michiru's voice was even, her knees were knocking together at the thought of being back on the tennis team.

.

The next morning before school started Niou laid himself on the desks in the Student Council room. One of his blue eyes peeked out at Yagyuu from under his arm. Niou's canine teeth poked at his lower lip as his smirk widened the longer he looked at his doubles partner who was busy doing paperwork.

"Why are you looking at me?" Yagyuu asked, his eyes still glued on the papers in front of him.

"I was just wondering." Yagyuu's pen stopped moving across the papers and Niou's smirk continued to stretch across his face. When Yagyuu didn't say anything Niou continued his thought. "What happened last week between you and your lover?" he casually asked.

"Nothing," Yagyuu answered. "I told you already that nothing happened, yet you still insist on asking me."

"Well you can't blame me. I did see you two leave the club together."

"That was over a week ago, will you just give it a rest?" Yagyuu removed his glasses and rubbed at his eyes furiously, trying to get rid of the image of the pink haired girl and her stupid belly button ring.

"She's not really your type though," Niou stated. "Though she might give you a run for your money."

"What are you trying to say, Niou-san? I'm really not in the mood for this right now."

"That's some way to treat your best friend."

Yagyuu sighed and looked at the trickster in front of him. Sometimes he just didn't understand Niou and his antics. It seemed as if Niou was happy as long as he messed with _anyone_, even his own best friend. Although Niou was a good guy, since he entered high school he just seemed less interested in pulling pranks and more interested in messing with people.

"I honestly think it might be good for you," Niou continued. "Maybe you need a girl in your life. Even if she isn't your type."

"I don't like her."

"Listen, I know your type is the 'innocent' and 'chaste' girls, but hey, you could seriously have some fun with Akahana-chan~"

.

Michiru walked into class and saw Nadeshiko sitting in the corner, her phone pulled out and in her hand. Their eyes connected before Michiru furiously shook her head and sat in her assigned seat in the middle row. She took out her notebooks and flipped through them merely for the show of looking like she was doing something.

Nadeshiko's delicate hand suddenly rested on Michiru's desk, and the latter stiffened.

"Hey," Nadeshiko said.

"Hi," Michiru answered tersely, her hands fiddling with the ends of her hair.

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry, okay?"

"Okay."

Nadeshiko stood there a moment longer, unsure of what to do next. She had always been bad with apologies and it was rare when she ever apologized to somebody.

"So . . . I'm sorry."

"Fine."

"Are you really going to be like this?" Nadeshiko asked.

"Like what?" Michiru's head turned to look at Nadeshiko. "Like a 'frigid bitch'?" She spat out the last part and darted her eyes back to her desk.

"I didn't mean that. I was just upset. With everything that' going on right now."

"I was just trying to look out for you." Michiru grudgingly looked back at Nadeshiko. Her eyes were hard and unyielding and they made Nadeshiko want to step back and leave for a bit.

"I'm sorry," Nadeshiko whispered.

"Apology accepted." Even though Michiru forgave her, Nadeshiko still felt a gaping hole in her stomach. Maybe it was because her best friend refused to look her in the eye as if she was ashamed.

.

Ryouko ran to catch up the Akahana and Kagami, whose heads were bobbing in and out between the dozens of other heads heading to get lunch. She pushed her way through the crowds, getting a dirty look every now and then from the people who she accidentally stepped on in her hurry.

She caught up to the two and threw her arms around their necks, startling them both.

"Hey guys!" she greeted.

"Hey, Ryouko," Akahana laughed, her straight teeth exposed behind coral lips.

Kagami gave Ryouko a look before joining in on the laughter.

"Let's go eat lunch!" Ryouko announced, heading into the cafeteria and dumping her lunch on a small table before taking a seat and gesturing to her two friends to do the same.

Akahana laughed again, and her laughter rang throughout the cafeteria, becoming a part of the symphony of other voices.

"Oh man, sometimes I forget just how good it is to be back here," Akahana stated.

"Yeah, it almost makes you forget the bad things about Rikkai. _Almost_," Kagami said sarcastically, opening her lunch box and pulling out her bento.

"I don't really remember what happened in middle school," Ryouko said, "but I get a bad feeling whenever I think about it. So I think I know what you mean."

Kagami and Akahana exchanged a long glance before Kagami spoke again. "You really don't remember what happened in middle school?"

Ryouko squirmed in her seat. She was getting that bad feeling again, and her toes were starting to go numb. This happened every time she tried to remember what happened in middle school. When she talked to her mom about it, she always said that Ryouko was trying to repress some bad memories. And for a good reason too, it seemed to Ryouko. If she was getting these feelings now then it would be much worse when she could remember exactly what happened. The only thing she knew for sure was that in middle school they lost the Nationals and that soon after she just _had_ to transfer out of Rikkai.

"I really don't,"Ryouko said. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize," Kagami said, holing up a hand to stop Ryouko from speaking further. "It's really better this way, trust me."

Ryouko looked to Akahana for some sort of clarification, but Akahana merely took a bit of bread and gave a look that said _trust her_.

"Just enjoy the fact that we're almost all together again!" Akahana exclaimed. Her palm made a loud sound as she smacked down on the table to emphasize her point. Her smile reappeared on her face and Ryouko thought that things must really be almost okay again.

.

Nadeshiko skipped her last class period and stood outside of the empty choir room, waiting for the guy who texted her to meet him there. Her foot tapped on the floor and she waited. No one ever came to the choir room during the last hour of the day.

Nadeshiko studied her nails and thought about her apology to Michiru. She winced when she saw the shame on Michiru's face again in her mind. She gave a groan before leaning against the wall, her dirty blonde hair obscuring most of her vision.

The door to the choir room slid open and Nadeshiko hurried to straighten herself. A veined hand took a hold of the door and Niou Masaharu stepped out, his blue eyes followed the wall to where Nadeshiko stood. He gave a yawn and then stretched, the sound of his joints popping made Nadeshiko cringe into the wall.

"Can't say I'm surprised to see that you're ditching." Niou smirked at her and she wanted to slap him and run away at the same time.

"I guess I don't really have to ask about why you're waiting outside the choir room," Niou said. "Right?" His smirk grew when he noticed her discomfort at being stared at by him.

"It's really none of your business," she hissed.

"Rumors get around, honey."

"Yeah, like I really give a fuck." Nadeshiko's eyebrows rose, challenging Niou to respond to her.

"Looks like your little boy toy is late. What, he can't even respect you enough to be on time?" Niou gave our a harsh laugh and leaned into Nadeshiko.

She gave him a dry smile before pushing him back. "Like you really have the right to judge _me_. From what I've heard, your reputation with the opposite sex is the same as mine, Niou-san."

"Hey, I was in the choir room taking a nap, not fucking somebody."

Nadeshiko turned away from Niou. She folded her arms over her chest and checked her phone again. She really didn't want to look at the boy in front of her because he _scared _her. Most of the regulars scared her.

His hand reached out and took her phone, tapping his way through the contents of her phone.

"Give that back!" Nadeshiko shouted. Niou pushed her back and continued to hold her phone.

"How cute," he drawled. "I added my number in there for you, and I sent a message from your phone to mine so I could have you number as well."

He took a hold of her shoulder and Nadeshiko blanched. His head rested against the side of hers and he whispered in her ear, "Don't be such a whore at school. Unless you'd be willing to give me a call about it."

Niou took in her shocked expression and laughed. He turned around and slowly made his way down the hall, not looking back at her.

Nadeshiko's eyes focused in on his back and she gave a disgusted grunt. She would have to take a shower as soon as she got home just to wash away the feel of his slimy hands. Niou Masaharu disgusted her, and his mocking voice was the most detestable thing she had heard in a while.

.

Michiru opened the door to the student council room and was surprised to only see Yagyuu Hiroshi there. She expected to at least see Naito Keisuke, the Student Council secretary there was well.

"Sorano-san," Yagyuu said when Michiru continued to just stand in the doorway.

"Oh, right, hi!" Michiru said uncomfortably, embarrassed that she had made a fool of herself within the first ten seconds of meeting the Student Council president. . She held out her hand and when he shook it, she stepped in to the room. "Um, so, I'm the new public relations officer for Student Council."

"I'm aware of that." Yagyuu's eyes were hidden behind his glasses and Michiru wished she knew what he was thinking. What a stupid thing for her to say, really. Of course he knew she was the new officer. He was the president.

"So I thought I would just report for duty," Michiru said finally after a bit.

"Meetings are Mondays and Fridays before and after school."

"Sounds good! Is that all?"

"I will let you know if there's something that you need to do. As of right now the student Council doesn't have any events planned."

"Cool . . . I guess."

"Well, good bye then." Yagyuu turned away from Michiru, already forgetting about her.

Michiru turned to leave, but then turned back. "You were really good the other day during practice."

Yagyuu raised his head and looked at Michiru, surprised by what she said.

"I mean it," Michiru said. "All of the boys who are regulars are just amazing."

"Thank you, Sorano-san."

Michiru gave Yagyuu one last smile before grabbing the door and sliding it open.

"Sorano-san."

Michiru turned around again. The sun coming through the windows behind Yagyuu lit him up like and angel and his shadow stretched out towards her.

"How is . . . How is Hoshiyo-san?" Yagyuu finally asked. He stood perfectly still as he waited for her answer.

"She's . . . okay," Michiru said, thinking for a bit. "Why do you ask?"

"No reason. It's nothing."

* * *

><p>Disclaimer: I don't own Lana Del Rey's song "Making Out".<p>

Also, reviews are much appreciated.


	11. down, down, down

_follow . me_

_{everyone around here seems to be going_

_down, down, down}_

_til . we . can . reach . that . bright . place_

"Look, Yagyuu-san, I'm sorry about what happened. No. No. No. Yagyuu-san, I really appreciate you taking me home, but I'm sorry for the way I acted. Ugh. Why won't this come out right?"

Akahana stood in front of the mirror in her bathroom and practiced apologizing for the hundredth time. She glanced up and looked at herself in the mirror. When had she become this type of person?

"Am I seriously doing this? Talking to a mirror?" she asked out loud, slamming her hands against the sink before walking into her bedroom.

Akahana threw herself onto her bed and lay in a crumpled heap. She reached out and took the Rikkai Dai yearbook from her senior year in middle school that lay open on her carpet. Recently she had been staring at it a lot more than necessary. It was strange to see pictures of everyone back when they were still a team in middle school. Even some of the boys looked different now even though they practically looked like high schoolers already in their third year.

The book felt heavier in her hands that night, and as usual she flipped to the club section of the yearbook and stared at the picture of the girls tennis team. It was on the page right behind the boys'. She flipped back and forth between the two, comparing who they were to their present selves. Akahana sighed, and put the book on the ground again.

Despite all of the things that she had done and how much she changed, when it came to tennis or even anything to do with the boys, she still felt like the small Akahana that she was when she was in middle school.

Akahana wiggled her toes and stared at the ceiling for a minute before grabbing her phone and pressing it to her ear.

"Hello?" said the voice on the other end.

"Kagamiiiiiiii," Akahana whined, "I'm feeling all bad again."

.

"So that's the budget for our fiscal year," said Naito Keisuke.

_Fiscal year? Doesn't he mean school year?_ Michiru sat in one of the desks that formed a circle in the student council room, listening to the events planned for the next year as well as the budget they had.

Michiru sighed and placed her head delicately on her hand. For some reason she just couldn't figure Yagyuu Hiroshi out. Was it his glasses that hid all forms of expression? Or was he just really like that in real life? She glanced at him, but he was too busy looking down at his papers to notice her. As usual his expression was blank, and Michiru wanted to find out what was underneath his calm exterior.

But really what she wanted to know was why the hell he asked about Akahana when he never spared a second glance at any of the girls when they went to middle school together.

"I think the budget you've put together is acceptable for this year," Yagyuu said, finally looking up from the papers in his hands.

"Thank you, Yagyuu-san," Keisuke said. His face was nothing other than pleasant, but he seemed a little miffed at Yagyuu for not saying anything else about his budget report.

Michiru had really gotten accustomed to the student council meetings over the past two weeks that she had attended, but she was just getting . . . bored. Although the student council mainly dealt with the other school clubs and their budgets, it also was the core in planning school events. However, with the tennis team training harder than ever, most school functions were pushed towards the end of the year when the national tournament was over.

Speaking of tennis, Michiru had already rejoined the tennis team and trained with them for the past two weeks, but things weren't going as she had wished.

Short version: she _sucked_ at tennis.

A few years off and BAM, the realization hit her like a ton of bricks. She was no longer the tennis player than everyone had looked up to. She was no longer the tennis player that beat dozens of other girls. She was just some has-been.

Honestly, it was _embarrassing_. Sometimes Michiru would just get so humiliated going to practice. Seeing her old teammates was nice and all, but they had completely different training, and most of the time Michiru was working with the girls who weren't regulars. Worst of all though were the times when the other regulars would look at her and just _expect_ her to be as good as her friends. Akahana, Kagami, and Ryouko seemed to jump back into the tennis scene no problem. Although it probably helped that they didn't quit playing tennis even after they transferred schools.

Whenever she failed to live up to the expectations of the other regulars, they would get these wide smirks on their faces that reminded her of Niou. Ugh.

No matter what her friends said to her, she just wasn't good enough, and the other members on the team knew that.

And it was almost made worse because every day Michiru would go to her student council meetings and see Yagyuu, who was just a genius in tennis. Or so she would like to think of him. She admired how he was able to juggle so many responsibilities. Although she did wish that he was easier to read. Seriously, it's easier to know what a block of cheese is thinking than what Yagyuu is thinking.

After Yagyuu adjourned the meeting he quickly turned to Michiru and gave her a look that she couldn't decipher. Michiru raised her eyebrows comically in response and smiled when he gave an audible sigh.

"Was there something you wanted to say?" Yagyuu asked.

"Me? No, not particularly. Unless . . . you know."

"I know what?"

"_You_ know. Whatever it is that you want to say or ask or mention about Akahana!" With that Michiru smiled at Yagyuu knowingly and patted him on the shoulder. "Sorry to say, but, she's really not your type, you know."

"How do you know what my type is?" Yagyuu asked.

"I don't know, I just get a _feeling_ about what your type is, and you're such a 'gentleman' or whatever, and honestly I just can't envision the two of you together. Especially since you're so proper and she's kind of . . . not."

Yagyuu sighed again, pushing up his glasses with his middle and ring fingers before saying, "I wasn't going to ask about her."

"But you wanted to. Admit it," Michiru teased. She couldn't remember ever having this much fun talking to one of the regulars from the boys team.

Sometimes she couldn't believe that she was teasing Yagyuu Hiroshi. He was always so intimidating back in middle school with his glasses covering his eyes and his expressionless face. Most of the time she would think that the most interesting thing about Yagyuu was that he had a crazy doubles partner named Niou.

Michiru definitely didn't think she would ever be in a sort of friendly situation with the gentleman, but then again Michiru never thought that she would be so intimidated by such a person as Yukimura who looked rather gentle.

"Hey, Yagyuu-san?" Michiru's voice came out a lot smaller than it ever had when she talked to him.

"Yes?" He stared at her, or she thought he was staring at her anyways. It always was hard to tell because of his glasses, and that had always really, _really_ annoyed her.

"You know, if you like her, you can tell me. I won't tell anyone, I swear."

.

Every time Ryouko saw Shiori, she looked a little different. On that particular Thursday Shiori had a smile plastered to her face as she walked into class. Her lips were so thin and stretched over her teeth that they almost looked drawn on, and usually they were a soft pink color, but that day they were thin and white and strange.

The really weird thing though was that even though it was obvious that Shiori had put on just enough weight to look like a still rather thin but more normal person, her coloring suggested that she was somehow still really sick.

"Hey, Shiori-chan," Ryouko said as the girl sat down.

"Hey." Shiori still had that fake smile on her face when she looked at Ryouko.

Ryoko noticed how Shiori refused to look at the silver haired boy sitting at Ryouko's back and how quickly she turned away.

It didn't take a genius to figure out that Shiori was avoiding everyone, everyone who really knew her. Even Ryouko had noticed the way Shiori had started to skirt around her old friends whenever she saw them in the hall. Shiori had never really talked to the boys either, but recently she hadn't even been looking at them. With all of this avoiding, Ryouko had to wonder, did Shiori even have any friends?

Apparently not though. As Ryouko was walking down the hall with Asa, the second year regular, during lunch, she saw Shiori sitting outside alone on a patch of grass and clover.

"Do you know if she's always alone like that?" Ryouko asked.

"Um, yeah, I think so actually," Asa replied. The sight of their former captain was enough to put bubbly, sweet Asa in a somber mood.

And then Ryouko felt bad. Not just about not doing anything to help Shiori, but also because she had been selfish these past couple of weeks. With the return of Michiru to the team, Ryouko had been focusing solely on her third year friends while poor Asa who had always been there for everyone during middle school and even now during high school was left out of the loop.

"I've never said thank you," Ryouko said suddenly, turning towards the smaller girl.

Asa glanced up in surprise before a smile started to spread across her face. "What for, senpai?"

"You really held Etsumi together when we all left. So . . . thank you. She's still kind of a mess sometimes, but she would be a lot worse if you had decided to leave like the rest of us."

"Rikkai has always been the place for me."

Asa gave her another smile before patting her arm. When did Asa grow so much? And since when did a senpai need to be comforted by her kohai?

Ryouko laughed and threw her arm around Asa's shoulders. Maybe later she would do something about Shiori, but right now she wasn't quite ready yet.

.

_We're on the road to being normal again. Just think about that_. Etsumi collapsed onto her bed after coming home from tennis practice. Her body ached and she just needed . . . well she didn't exactly know what she needed, but she _wanted_ things to be normal again.

A few times since Shiori came back to school, Etsumi tried to talk to her, but Shiori just kept averting her now.

Etsumi flopped onto her back and stared at her immaculate room. People would have no idea that a teenager even lived in this room.

But God she hated her room.

It was too clean. Too perfect. But it was just how her parents liked it.

And sometimes Etsumi wished that she could just talk to her parents about how she was feeling, but she never saw them when she got home from school.

The clock in her living room chimed six. It would be another two hours before her dad got home from the law office and who even knew anymore when her mom would get back from her job at the hospital. And even though her parents provided her with everything, she just wanted them to quit their high profile jobs and just be home every once in a while. Etsumi was sure that they could be filed under the category of "absentee parents".

Etsumi's phone beeped and she hoped that it was her mom, but when she looked at her screen, it was just a text from Akahana.

_Hey, can we meet? I really need somebody right now._

And it was that message that got Etsumi snatching her jacket from her perfectly organized closet and stumbling out the door without locking it.

Akahana had never needed someone else to pick up her pieces. Akahana had never needed anybody to come help her. Akahana never needed _anybody_ because she was exuberant and vigorous and dazzling.

But from the rumors that Etsumi heard, Akahana could also be very needy.

When she got to the park where they had always met before, Akahana was standing at the top of the slide, looking down at the world with her pink hair blowing in the autumn wind. And once again she looked exuberant and vigorous and dazzling, but not at the same time because her face seemed withdrawn and unhappy for once.

Once Akahana saw Etsumi she slid down the slide and offered her a can of soda.

"What's wrong?" Etsumi asked.

"Everything's wrong." And even when Akahana said that, there was still a smile on her face.

"Akahana, if you don't tell me, I won't be able to help you." Etsumi tried to speak slowly and calmly even though she was frightened. She was scared that they would all leave again, that being at Rikkai was just too much pressure like it was all those years ago.

"Even when we're almost all together it feels like we're falling apart sometimes," Akahana said. "Sometimes I'm afraid to look at the boys and see what they think of us, and other times I just want to talk to them because they don't seem too bad. Is that wrong of me? Kagami says that I shouldn't want to talk to them, that they'll just make us feel weak. Is that true?"

"Oh Akahana, of course that's not true." Although sometimes Etsumi could feel the crushing weight of the expectations put on her as captain, and sometimes she did feel weak in the eyes of the boys. Mostly Yukimura and his perfection, which she used to think was nothing compared to Shiori, but that was back then.

"I just always feel the need to go out and _do_ something, you know?" Akahana said. "I just can't stand to sit at home or sit in class because seeing them makes me feel all jittery and I don't want to sit still."

"No one ever said you had to sit still."

"That's not what I'm saying," she huffed. "I'm saying I want to be a great tennis player, and I want our team to be back together, and I want for us to be normal again, and I want for Shiori to be better again, and I want for us to show the boys that we're strong because we are even though we don't feel like it all of the time."

Akahana's words mingled in the air between the two and Etsumi couldn't tell if she was feeling worried or relieved. She felt worried because Akahana was always all smiles and never any frowns, but she felt relieved because it wasn't just her that wanted the team to be back together. Akahana wanted it too.

"So are we friends again?" Etsumi asked. The words slipped out of her mouth and she could see Akahana's always there smile disappear.

"I thought we were friends now," Akahana said, her eyebrows pushed together in bewilderment.

"Yes and no. We talk at practice and we're friendly, but we never hang out or talk in other places."

"Oh."

"Oh."

"I'm sorry, Etsumi. Or should I say Etsumi-san or Mori-san since we're not really friends?"

"Don't be ridiculous. You can still call me Etsumi."

"I'm really sorry for just leaving you behind like that. Things just went to crap after Shiori left, you know?"

"I know, I was there."

A silence stretched between the two for a couple of minutes. Akahana stood her ground, but she fidgeted with the toes of her boots.

God, for once Etsumi wanted to seem strong too instead of just the girl who was left behind. So she smiled at Akahana and hugged her tightly.

"It's okay now. We're friends again, and things are going to get better," Etsumi said.

Akahana hugged her back and for a minute she seemed to be crying, but when she pulled back her eyes were clear and dry.

"And thank you for always being such a good friends, even when I'm such a crap friend," Akahana laughed.

Almost everything seemed okay again to Etsumi.

"How's Kagami?" Etsumi asked.

Akahana's face became tight again. "She's coping. She's always been the rock in my wild life."

"Then what's wrong?"

"She just doesn't approve of how I party or how I talk to the boys sometimes or even how I get sad about things, even though she's the one who won't let go of the past."

"Hey, it's going to be okay."

"I know. It's already better since we're all going to Rikkai together again." Akahana snapped out of her grim mood and once again smiled at Etsumi for what seemed like the hundredth time.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Hey guys, I know it's been a while. Sorry for such a heavy chapter. At least it feels heavy to me. I've been trying to incorporate more of the characters into the fic.

How would you guys feel, if there was just an entire chapter dedicated to Shiori/Yukimura though? I've been thinking about it and I might write it soon. It might be after the next chapter, or it might even be the next chapter. IDK! We'll see. Let me know what you think. Also let me know if you guys want single chapters on one of the other characters as well such as Akahana or something.

Review please! They are so much appreciated.

I don't own the song "Lucky Ones" by Lana Del Rey.


	12. he's got the fire

**A/N: **Short little chapter that is Yukimura-centric.

Also, in order to get the next chapter out in the next week or so I'm asking for 2 (TWO!) reviews only on this chapter. Once I get two I'll post!

* * *

><p><em>follow . me<em>

_{he's got the fire and he walks with fame_

_he's got the fire and he talks with fame}_

_til . we . reach . that . bright . place_

Niou didn't know why he messed with others. Sometimes Yagyuu would ask him, "Why even bother to intentionally go out of your way to make sure that others are thoroughly broken after you've dealt with them?"

To which Niou would answer, "I'm not the one that people should be worried about. Yukimura-buchou is much scarier than me."

And he firmly believed to that. Even Yukimura could strike fear into him, and most of the time he would behave when the blue haired captain was watching.

Niou just assumed that his need to mess with others came from the thrill that he got when he saw someone's face crumple in emotion. He liked that he could make others feel a certain way. At least he wasn't a power freak like Yukimra though. Sometimes Niou would look at Yukimura and just see a hunger hidden beneath his captain's eyes. In fact, more and more recently Niou's been noticing it.

Sure, Niou was sly and mean and maybe even a bit crazy, but he never just took someone who was whole and shattered them. Not like Yukimura.

He relished the thrill of making others uncomfortable, of making others weary or even of making them feel less than themselves sometimes.

But he never.

Never.

Intentionally dominated someone with thoughts of how he could make them a ghost of their former selves.

And it scared Niou that Yukimura would do that. Not that Niou would ever admit that out loud of course.

All Niou wanted was to pull pranks and occasionally get under someone's skin.

.

Kagami checked her phone for the nth time, looking at the messages that Akahana had sent her last night. Kagami had been busy helping her mom cook dinner and didn't have her phone on her. After dinner she had gone up to her room and noticed that Akahana had been sending her frantic texts for the past hour. Of course Kagami had called back right away, but Akahana never picked up her phone even though Kagami had called her over fifteen times.

And so that morning Kagami had decided to wait at the front gates of Rikkai for Akahana since they didn't have morning practices on Fridays. Kagami chewed her lip in worry. Why didn't Akahana answer the phone? Kagami was afraid that her greatest fear for Akahana came true. That Akahana went out partying because that's what she did when she needed to cope with something and that she had taken drugs or something and turned up dead.

Oh God, what if Akahana was dead?

But just minutes later Kagami spotted Akahana's tall form and her pink ponytail swaying in the wind. She was so relieved just to see the other girl that Kagami almost fell down. Akahana approached Kagami with a smile on her face, and only then did Kagami notice that Akahana was walking with Etsumi.

"Hi Kagami. Sorry about not answering your calls, I was dealing with stuff," Akahana apologized.

"Geez, just don't do that again. I thought you like died or something!" Kagami laughed. She was just so happy to see that Akahana was okay after all.

"I'm okay. I mean it."

Akahana gave one of her full-bellied laughs just to prove she was okay. The people around them turned to look at the trio but ultimately didn't say anything. Akahana's laugh was infectious though and Kagami could feel herself cracking a smile.

"You three seem to be having a good time."

And just like that the air got sucked out of them. Yukimura stood in front of them with a smile on his face. Yanagi and Sanada flanked him on either side and murmured greetings to the girls.

"Hi Yukimura-san," Etsumi said. She was the first to recover and she gave him a wavering smile back.

"I heard that your team is getting along really well recently. Well, good job."

"Thank you, Yukimura-san."

Yukimura stood there for a few seconds almost as if he was waiting for them to say something when Kagami saw his blue eyes trail from them to someone to his right.

Walking through the gates with her head ducked down was Shiori, who was so painfully small looking. It was like she was trying not to stand out in any way, but Yukimura had seen her.

"Miu-san!" Yukimura called out cheerily.

Shiori froze and so did everyone else walking to school. The other students eyed Shiori suspiciously, their eyes darting between the "anorexic" girl and their unquestioned leader.

Shiori lifted her head and slowly made her way towards them. She locked eyes with Kagami for a second before she looked towards her feet or her hands or anywhere but directly at Yukimura.

It seemed like the first time Kagami had seen Shiori in a long, long time, especially since Shiori had taken to avoiding them. Shiori looked different. Healthy but sick at the same time if that was possible. She was still skinny, but not scarily so anymore at least. Her wavy, brown hair was still beautiful. Kagami remembered how much Shiori had taken care of her hair in middle school. However, her eyes seemed sunken in and her lips were thin lines as she squeezed them together. Ryouko had told her about how Shiori was, but Kagami just couldn't envision Shiori like this.

Yukimura gave no indication of seeing anything different in Shiori, but Kagami noticed how his eyes had intensified from sapphire to cobalt. And Kagami could see that Yanagi had seen it too. He involuntarily stepped between Shiori and Yukimura once Shiori stopped in front of them.

"Hi guys," Shiori said to the girls, her eyes so unfocused that Kagami couldn't tell if she was actually talking to them.

"Oh, Shiori," Etsumi whispered. Etsumi seemed to be struggling on whether to embrace their former captain or to just stay still.

"Isn't this nice?" Yukimura asked. "I bet you guys wished that you could all play tennis together again."

"Of course we do. We're all friends you know," Akahana said with such conviction that even Shiori looked straight at her.

"Is that so? Well that's good." Yukimura eyed Shiori still, stepping a little closer.

"I think we should get to class," Yanagi said. He lightly grabbed Yukimura's arm and motioned towards the school.

Yukimura coughed and snapped out of whatever it was that he was in. "Yes, class." He gave them one last smile before walking away with his friends.

"What the fuck was that?" Akahana asked once the guys were no longer in sight. "What is his _problem_?"

"He was probably just saying hello," Etsumi replied. "Don't look too much into it. That's just how he always is."

"He treats us like we're still the sores of the school," Kagami said.

"Are you okay, Shiori?" Akahana asked, throwing her arm around Shiori's thin, thin shoulders.

"I'm fine. I'm fine."

"You should sit with us at lunch," Akahana insisted. "You're always eating alone, and I won't take no for an answer! Even if I have to drag you to our table."

Shiori gave them a weak smile before nodding.

.

Sanada, Yukimura, and Yanagi all had different classrooms, so when they dropped Yukimura off at his class Yanagi insisted on walking Sanada to his.

"What's this about, Renji?" Sanada asked.

"I think we need to talk about Yukimura," Yanagi said.

Sanada stopped walking and turned to look at his best friend. "What about him? Is he sick again? What?"

"No, nothing like that."

"Yanagi, we don't have time for this carelessness. Nationals are coming up. Soon. And we need to focus."

"You haven't noticed how he's been acting lately?"

"He seems normal to me. He's pushing the team harder this year because it's our last."

Yanagi sighed. Sanada just always had tennis and winning on his mind. It was what made Rikkai such a perfect fit for him.

"I'm talking about how he always is talking to Miu-san," Yanagi stated.

"He doesn't always talk to her." Sanada crossed his arms and looked at Yanagi. Yanagi could feel Sanada scrutinizing him. "Anyways," Sanada continued, "is it so wrong for Yukimura to take an interest in someone who was once a great tennis player?"

"You don't need to defend him. If you were being honest right now, Genichirou, you would say that Yukimura was wasting his time on her."

"Yukimura can do what he wants," Sanada sighed. "Even if we wanted to do something about it, you know that when Yukimura's set on something, he can't be stopped. Anyways, he's our best friend. Stop trying to question him."

.

Michiru was shocked when she saw Shiori sandwiched in by Akahana and Etsumi at their lunch table.

"Oh! Shiori!" Ryouko shouted as she pushed past Michiru to sit at the table.

Michiru sat down and looked at the faces around her. There was dear, little Asa who always seemed like the mascot of the team even though her volleys were killer and she could hold her own. Of course there was reliable Etsumi who would always come running if someone was in trouble. Akahana laughed and Michiru could feel happiness radiate from her. Then there was Kagami who was smart and solid and true. Ryouko of course sat right next to her and Michiru felt as if things were right again.

Just seeing Shiori again after all this time was nice.

Things really were back to normal. Almost anyways.

Michiru could feel the gap at the table where Nadeshiko would've sat if she would just pull herself together.

She really missed Nadeshiko. And the truth was that Michiru really did forgive Nadeshiko for what she said. But if that was the case why were things so strained? They talked in class, but that was it. As soon as the bell rang for lunch Nadeshiko would be out the door.

"So what do you think about watching the tennis team?"

Michiru turned her head to Akahana who asked the question. Shiori looked uncomfortable sitting with all of them again. It was almost as if she didn't belong, but if anything, Shiori belonged more than any of them. She was the one that they all looked up to, even now it seemed.

"I don't think that's a good idea," Shiori answered. "It wouldn't be good for me. I'm . . . I'm still recovering and everything. And . . . tennis just isn't for me anymore."

"We're just asking you to watch, not to play. And anyways, Etsumi told us that you're still awesome at tennis!"

Michiru hoped that Shiori would say yes. Just having her there near the courts again would make everything feel normal.

"I don't know."

The table grew silent with Shiori's answer, and Michiru could tell that everyone wanted Shiori back. She was their fearless leader. But what was she now?

It bothered Michiru. She was okay with the boys. She was okay now with how the school treated them. She was past that, but she wasn't over their broken friendship. Despite all of her hopes that they would all be on the same team again, Michiru just wasn't sure if Shiori was up for such a thing.

.

"Um, hey, you wanted to meet me?" Etsumi asked once she stepped inside the office that was nestled in the boys' locker room.

Yukimura raised his head and smiled at Etsumi. He motioned for her to take the seat across from him. Etsumi sat down wearily.

"What was it you wanted, Yukimura-san?"

"As you know, the prelims are coming up," Yukimura said.

"I know."

"I wanted to know the order that you had decided on for the first matches."

It wasn't like Yukimura to ask her to speak with him privately over a matter that as simple as that.

"You didn't need to ask to meet me," Etsumi said. "I could've just given you a copy of the order."

"I would love a copy." He smiled at her again with no teeth showing. Etsumi imagined that his teeth would be perfect and white and straight, but she couldn't remember ever seeing them. He always smiled with his mouth closed.

"What is it that you really want?" The words slipped out of Etsumi's mouth and now she couldn't take them back. She was afraid to make him angry. She didn't want him to treat her or her teammates with the scorn that he showed them back then in middle school. Rikkai made her into a winner, but not because winning was what she wanted exactly, but because she was afraid of what would happen if she lost.

"The team that is competing. The regulars. Who's on it?"

"You know who the regulars are, Yukimura-san. And I can tell you right now that Kagami, Akahana, and Ryouko are the only ones who have come back that are regulars."

Yukimura casually folded his hands on the desk and stared straight at Etsumi. "I heard that Miu-san was coming to watch your practice. Is it true?"

"Why are you asking me this? She isn't on our team."

Etsumi was afraid of Yukimura's fire. She could see it roiling beneath his skin. And although his eyes were the bluest things she had ever seen, they burned when they looked at you too long. He was too bright. He was much too bright.

.

Yukimura leaned back in his seat after Etsumi had left. He could tell that he unnerved her. He unnerved most people, and it was something he was used to. He had tons of fans, yes, but even they saw him as this unapproachable being.

He was entranced. Entranced by some pathetic girl that ultimately meant nothing to him. But she was real, and he could feel how breakable she was beneath his hands.

And she had been avoiding him. Avoiding him since that day they talked during lunch.

Truth was, Yukimura had no idea why he was feeling like this. When he saw her dance he could tell that she put her whole being in it, and that was how she used to play tennis. She was strong and whole and there. She was right there.

But now she was fragile and as strong as a piece of paper. She shattered so easily he noticed. First when she had lost the nationals back in middle school and second when she couldn't dance anymore.

He had spent days watching her pink lips. Days until he saw them turn thin and white. That was when she started avoiding everyone.

That morning he could tell that she wanted nothing to do with him. He unnerved her as well, and he liked it. He liked how she wouldn't look in his eyes, how she seemed so small recently, how her eyes were still so so so so so green.

It was back then in her dressing room when he found her vomiting in a trashcan that he really noticed her.

He hated how weak she was lately though. He hated it, hated it, hated it. Yukimura understood that she wasn't comfortable in his presence, but she had stopped trying completely to pretend to be strong. And God she was broken, but she could be much worse. And Yukimura wondered what it would look like if she was much worse.

He wanted her to be strong, but he also wanted her to be weak.

Yukimura was a god, and everyone treated him as such.

What was this girl to him?

She was someone breakable.

Someone delicate.

Someone he could bend.

She was afraid of him, and he didn't want that, but he liked it.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Let me know if you guys like! I hope this gives some insight on the whole Yukimura/Shiori thing.

Also in a few chapters there will be a chapter wholly for Yukimura/Shiori. Let me know if you guys have any idea of what you want to happen and whatnot in the story.

REVIEW PLEASE! :) Please.

I do not own Lana Del Rey's song "Sad Girl".


	13. i think we're like fire and water

THANK YOU so so so so much to **YunaBrown, koori no hime, AznMistress, CrimsonRed40, **and **CoconutCandies** for the reviews! Once again, thanks so much you guys, it really makes it worth it to write this fic to know that all of you are reading it.

**A/N:** Sorry it's a little late! I've been on vacation for the past week and a half or so, but now I am back! Also this chapter is a litter more light-hearted and shorter than the others.

* * *

><p><em>follow . me<em>

_{i think we're like fire and water_

_i think we're like the wind and sea_

_you're burning up, i'm cooling down}_

_til . we . can . reach . that . bright . place_

Michiru tried to suppress a giggle as she stared at Akahana's wrinkled face. It looked as if her friend had eaten something particularly bad or maybe smelled something particularly bad. Either way. It was bad, but the look was so comical that Michiru just couldn't help it and she let out a tiny giggle. Akahana's head immediately turned to look at Michiru and her eyes narrowed.

"What are you looking at, noob?" Akahana said in mock anger.

"Seriously?" Michiru laughed. "'Noob'?"

"I couldn't think of what to say," Akahana admitted, shrugging her right shoulder before her face relaxed again.

"What was with that face?"

"Oh, you mean my ugly face?" Akahana scrunched up her face again and pretended to try and eat Michiru's arm.

"Yeah that." Michiru laughed again and pushed her friend away. "Seriously, what is up with that?"

Akahana blew out her breath before leaning back against the metal bleachers that sat on one side of the tennis courts. It was the middle of morning practice and they were both taking a break despite the fact that Akahana really should have been practicing.

"Well, as you know, this weekend there is a certain tennis tournament that is being held. You could say that it is the prelims and even though it's just the first match, it is still super important that we all win," Akahana said.

Michiru blew a raspberry before saying, "Is that really it? You have to realize that Rikkai is number one and you made it as a regular for a reason. Rikkai doesn't lose."

"I know that, but what if I—" At that moment Akahana started making weird gags as if she were being strangled. "Choke," she finished. "I'm scared that I'll choke out there and mess everything up."

Michiru started poking at Akahana's face, scrutinizing her.

"What are you doing?!" Akahana asked.

"I'm checking to see if you've been replaced by an alien because the Akahana that I know would not feel this way. She would be all like 'Yeah! I am ready to destroy those enemies!'"

"I would never say 'destroy those enemies'. I think that destroying your enemies is wrong, and that is why I am not particularly good friends with any of the boys on the tennis team."

"Well whatever. My point is that you would not be all freaked out like this! You've never been freaked out like this, so what's the problem?"

Akahana sighed again and just shook her head. "You don't feel it?"

"Feel what?"

"I don't know. Just, how everyone is expecting us to win but at the same time they're expecting a repeat performance from middle school. Now that we're back on the team it's just like everyone is looking at us and making sure we're not gonna cost them the win."

"Nope."

Akahana furrowed her brow and looked at Michiru. "What?"

"Nope. I don't feel it at all, but then again I'm definitely not a regular." Michiru gave Akahana a reassuring smile. "Calm down."

.

"God, I am ready to just die," Kagami groaned as she sunk into her seat in the classroom.

"Hey, I get the feeling," Akahana said, rubbing her own shoulder.

Etsumi had started to make the practices a lot harder since preliminaries were just around the corner.

"With how sore I'm feeling, I don't think that I'll be able to perform properly and I might cost us the game," Akahana joked.

Marui Bunta sat a few desks in front of the girls and at the mention of the tournament, he turned around in his seat.

"Yukimura-buchou is working us to the grave too," he said smiling, completely ignoring the looks that the students in between him and the girls were giving them.

"Yeah, I forgot how it gets like this," Akahana replied.

"So I'm excited to see the girls play! I heard that you guys have been doing awesome at practice!"

At this point the three students in front of Akahana were starting to get annoyed with her and Marui talking over their heads. Marui seemed to get the point and walked over to Akahana. He leaned casually against her desk with his arms crossed and a piece of gum in his mouth. Kagami stared at the redhead as he continued to converse with her best friend.

"Of course we all know that the guys will win," Akahana stated.

"Well yeah, but of course the girls will win too."

Marui smiled, and Akahana returned the gesture. It had been a really long time since she had this sort of conversation with one of the boys.

Kagami looked back over to the cluster of desks that Marui had left and noticed both Yanagi and Yagyuu staring at the exchange between their friends.

"Are you and Nagisa-san playing doubles?" Marui asked, jerking his chin in the direction of Kagami.

"I have no idea. Etsumi-buchou said that she wants to keep the play order a secret until the day of the tournament, but I don't have a problem playing doubles or singles."

"Yeah, I'm more of a doubles player myself."

Kagami had no idea why Marui was still talking to Akahana. If he didn't have anything to say then why was he even talking? Conversation between the boys and the girls tennis teams only occurred out of necessity. Etsumi wouldn't even talk to Yukimura unless she really needed to despite the fact that they were both captains for the same sport.

Kagami cleared her throat loudly and both Marui and Akahana turned to look at her.

"I believe that class is going to start soon, Marui-san," Kagami stated.

.

Before Nadeshiko had the chance to run out of the classroom during lunch, Michiru caught the blonde girl by the arm just as she was stepping out of the door. Nadeshiko turned around with both of her eyebrows raised in surprise.

"Hey," Michiru mumbled awkwardly, fidgeting with the ends of her hair.

"Hey."

"Um." Michiru pursed her lips and sighed. "I'm sorry for not really talking to you lately."

That declaration surprised Nadeshiko and she was sure that if possible her eyebrows had extended into her hairline out of bewilderment. It wasn't like Michiru to apologize for things that she had no true fault in. If anything, Nadeshiko was to blame for starting the fight with Michiru and then not really talking to her either.

"Uh, it's okay," Nadeshiko heard herself say. What was she suppose to say in this situation?

"Well," Michiru threw her hair back, "there's a tennis tournament this weekend and I just want to invite you to come. We could sit together and cheer on the team and stuff."

Now Nadeshiko really was surprised. Last she heard, Michiru was on the tennis team, but it was still a surprise to be invited.

"I'm not one of the regulars," Michiru continued. "So I can sit with you because I won't be playing."

"Oh," was Nadeshiko's genius reply.

She really did miss Michiru. They had never really had a bad fight before, and despite their argument being seemingly no big deal, it had been a while since the two had talked.

"It's fine if you can't go, but it would be pretty darn awesome if you could," Michiru said, sounding a little like her old self.

"Does this mean that we're going to stop being weird slash mad at each other?"

"I wasn't mad at you."

Nadeshiko knew that Michiru was lying, but if it meant even slightly being friends again she would let it go. But she wasn't sure that she could do what Michiru was asking her to do. She didn't want to go to a tennis tournament and see everyone again. Not yet anyways.

.

Kagami watched as Akahana started doing jumping jacks for no reason during lunch. Akahana started to stretch after she was done with her jumping jacks, and at that point everyone in the cafeteria had stopped to look at them.

"What are you doing?" Kagami finally asked once Akahana moved on to lunges.

"I am preparing myself, if you must know," Akahana replied tartly.

"For the tournament? That's not until this weekend, and we have practice to prepare for that."

Akahana jumped up from her position and sighed as if Kagami would never understand her. "I'm not preparing for that! There's something I have to do before the tournament and it's best if I just get it out of the way now."

"And it entails you . . . doing stretches and warm-ups?" Kagami asked skeptically pointing at the spot where Akahana was just doing lunges.

"Well . . . no, but I need to prepare in some way. So if this is going to make me prepared then I'll do it!"

"Yeah, well, don't do it in the middle of the cafeteria." Kagami gestured to where they were and the people staring at them.

"I don't care what other people think!" And with that Akahana turned on her heel with her chin in the air and marched out of the cafeteria, leaving behind an astonished Kagami.

Once Akahana was at a respectable distance from the cafeteria she let her shoulders drop and stopped walking. She had no idea where Yagyuu was during lunch, and she would not apologize to him in front of his entire team if he happened to be with them. However, it should be safe to say that Yagyuu was usually in the student council room since he was the president.

The closer Akahana got to the room however, the slower she started to walk. She let out a groan and lightly slapped both of her cheeks twice. "Get over it, Akahana!" she said to herself. "Just be a decent person and apologize."

Feeling slightly invigorated, Akahana slammed open the door to the student council room, effectively surprising Yagyuu who stared at her openly.

.

When Yagyuu decided to work on student council paperwork during lunch, he never ever expected to see the pinkette that everyone had been talking about to just suddenly appear and leave a dent where the doorknob had slammed into the wall when she shoved open the door.

"You just dented the wall," was all Yagyuu could think to say when he finally spoke to Akahana again.

A flush crept up from Akahana's chest and her face became as pink as her hair when she finally noticed the damage that she had done to the room. "Sorry," she mumbled.

The room became silent for a few minutes, with neither of its occupants saying a word.

Although they were both in the same class, they hadn't talked since that night that they ran into each other at the club. And even though Yagyuu tried to convince others that Akahana didn't mean anything to him, his friends and some classmates still continued to bring her up in conversation, such as his best friend Niou or his public relations officer Michiru.

And here she was standing in front of him with an embarrassed smile on her face, but with a fire in her eyes. He just didn't understand why she was always smiling even when things were going so wrong. He didn't even understand why people kept bringing her up when almost all of her actions made him cringe. She was not ladylike or innocent or gentle or _anything_ that he liked in a girl. So why did others keep insisting on things that weren't even possible?

Akahana stepped further into the room and shut the door behind her. Her face got redder as she looked at the dent again. When she turned back to Yagyuu her mouth was squeezed shut, which was weird he thought since she really was always smiling. It wasn't the same smile as Yukimura. Yukimura had a soft smile that hid his thoughts. Akahana had an open smile. An infectious smile. A smile that let everyone know exactly what she was feeling and how free she was.

"Listen," Akahana said, "first of all I'm sorry about the wall. I didn't really think that that would happen."

_How could she not think that would happen?_ Yagyuu thought. He sighed and looked wearily at Akahana. She really never did think about what she was doing, did she?

He noticed that she couldn't even stand still. Akahana was fidgeting and constantly moving her feet as if she couldn't stand to just not be moving. It seemed as if she would run off at any moment. She was too unpredictable; her burst into the room earlier proved that.

"Hey, maybe you should relax. You're acting like a block of ice," Akahana joked, trying to ease some of the tension in the room. She noted his unamused expression and awkwardly sat down across from him.

To Yagyuu, Akahana just seemed too alive, like she was always burning up. She played tennis too vigorously, she walked too vivaciously, she talked too animatedly. She was just this ball of fire that tired him out, and that was why he decided to stop talking to her or dealing with her.

Even in the presence of someone so exuberant that it made his head hurt, Yagyuu remained ever the gentleman, calm and cool. He knew that it was his icy attitude that made her so uncomfortable at that moment. He could tell that she was trying to see beyond his glasses and into his mind, but he was never one to really let others know what he was thinking. So far, only Niou could figure him out, and half of the time he wished that Niou didn't know him.

"Hoshiyo-san," Yagyuu said, "I think it would be best if you just told me what you came here for."

Akahana got silent again, and Yagyuu was getting impatient, even though he rarely ever got impatient.

"I just wanted to say sorry," Akahana softly said.

"You said that already."

"Ugh, not for the wall!" Akahana flopped back in her seat, her brows knitted in frustration at both herself and Yagyuu.

"Then what?" Yagyuu knew what she was trying to apologize for, but he didn't want to be the one to bring it up. It was embarrassing for both of them to talk about, he was sure about that at least.

"Oh." Akahana's cheeks flamed up again. "I want to apologize about that one night a few weeks ago. At the club."

"Okay."

"So . . . I'm so sorry about what I did. I was just out of my mind and I really had no idea what I was thinking . . . and, um, thank you . . . for taking me back home."

As far as apologies went, that was actually one of the worst ones he heard, but he could note the sincerity in her voice, so he was sure she was being honest.

"Um, that's all," Akahana said and suddenly stood up from her seat. She flipped her ponytail over her shoulder and started to head. She turned her head and gave him a sparkling smile as if everything was alright. As Akahana left she made an obvious effort to close the door softly, and the act brought a smile to his face.

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><p><strong>AN: **Once again I'm asking for TWO reviews before I update again. Thank you everyone for the support!

I do not own "Brooklyn Baby" by Lana del Rey.


	14. i don't feel attached to this name

**A/N:** Hey guys, sorry for the super long break. I'm at college now! Majoring in creative writing! Anyways, I wanted to make it up to you by having a super long chapter. This chapter is about double the size it usually is, so hopefully this makes up for the long break?

Also thanks to **AznMistress, CrimsonRed40, and** **TheRyomaEchizen **for reviewing! I plan on updating a little more frequently, but it really depends on my college schedule. :(

Also this chapter might be weird because my style shifts halfway through and then shifts back. It's a product of listening to CharlieXCX, Magic Man, Bad Suns, Lorde, and Lana Del Rey while writing this.

* * *

><p><em>follow . me<em>

_{stuck inside of the wrong frame_

_i don't feel attached to this name}_

_til . we . can . reach . that . bright . place_

"Oh my God, kill me now," Akahana muttered under her breath to Kagami as she stood with the rest of the Rikkai team. They were all at one of the local tennis court parks for prelims, and Akahana could feel everybody's eyes on the team.

"This is so strange," Akahana whispered.

"What? Being on a tennis team and going to a tournament? I thought you continued playing tennis even after you transferred," Kagami replied.

"What? No! I mean, it's weird because everyone, EVERYONE, is looking at us."

"Get used to it, we're Rikkai. Of course everyone is looking at us."

Even though Kagami had a point, Akahana still felt unnerved by all of the stares. It had been so long since she had been in this situation that she completely forgot that even back in middle school they had been stared at.

The girls had already checked in early and were just standing around waiting for the matches to finally start. The boys were playing on the tennis courts on the other side of the park, and some of the girls had gone over there to chat with them before the match.

Akahana was pretty sure that they were both playing at the same time, so the boys wouldn't have time to watch the girls' matches or vice versa. For that she was thankful. Even though she didn't have any real issues with the boys anymore, she didn't want them watching her play tennis.

Etsumi walked up to the two girls and gave them a gentle smile. "So how does it feel to be back in this sort of scene?"

"Weird and freaky," Akahana said. She took a look around and noticed that none of the other regulars were in sight. "What the heck happened to everyone else?"

Etsumi shrugged her shoulders and gave a sigh, "You know, the boys."

"That explains things," Kagami stated tartly.

"Well whatever. We're going to rock it on the tennis courts!" Akahana enthusiastically shouted. Her fist flew into the air and for the first time since getting to the tournament, people were looking at Akahana not because she was a Rikkai tennis player, but because she was loud and energetic and strange.

"Your spirits have turned around." Kagami nudged Akahana with her elbow and a smile graced her lips.

"I've just realized that it's better to not freak myself out before the match. I mean, I don't want the other teams to think I'm weak, and I _certainly_ don't want my own teammates to think that." Akahana's arms were folded across her chest as she scoped out the other teams in the area. "I don't recognize anyone."

"That could be because they've all grown up and changed, just like you." Kagami gave Akahana a look and the pink-haired girl replied with a cheeky grin.

"Some people actually quit playing tennis when they joined high school," Etsumi said, "but there's no doubt, you'll definitely run into some old rivals." A small smile played on Etsumi's lips, and Akahana remembered that in middle school Etsumi was friends with a lot of tennis players from other schools.

"Well, I hope you're ready for the tournament," Etsumi stated suddenly, her face radiating an excitement that Akahana hadn't seen in a while. Etsumi brought up both of her arms and put them around Akahana and Kagami. "Oh, and before I forget," Etsumi said. "You two are playing doubles."

.

Floods of tennis players and fans glided past Nadeshiko as she waited for Michiru at the front entrance to the tennis park. She really hadn't planned on coming, but she wanted to mend things with Michiru. She averted eyes with most of the people who walked by, even though there really was no need to. Despite what she told herself, she wasn't exactly feeling ready to be back in this scene. And honestly it was strange. It was strange to be here as a part of Rikkai, but not as a part of Rikkai's team. She was part of the school sure, but she didn't feel like she belonged. Especially not here.

"Hey!"

Nadeshiko looked up from her feet and saw a frantically waving Michiru on the other side of the street. The people around her had turned to look too, and once they realized it was no one they knew, they walked away.

Michiru hurried down the crosswalk and smiled bright at Nadeshiko.

"Ready to see everyone again?" Michiru asked.

"Yeah," Nadeshiko answered casually, but her insides felt like they were being melted. Things had changed too much. _She_ had changed too much, and Nadeshiko was afraid that when she finally talked to her old friends again they would look at her with the same look that most girls at Rikkai gave her now.

As they walked towards the tennis courts, Nadeshiko's heart beat like an alarm, warning her that this was not a place she belonged. It wasn't a place where she was wanted, and it wasn't a place where she wanted to be.

"There's the court the team is playing on!" Michiru pointed over to a tennis court partially obscured by clumps of people.

"And the animals have all come to feed on the carcass of the dead," Nadeshiko mumbled. Of course everyone would be curious to see how the old members fared at the tournament. It was the return of the old regulars, and others would want to see how much everyone had changed.

"Oh god, they do _not_ look happy at all," Michiru said, eyebrows knitted and a pout starting to form on her lips.

"What?" Nadeshiko stood on her toes trying to see over the crow. Standing near the fence was a very disgruntled looking Akahana and an equally grumpy looking Kagami. However, compared to the other two regulars standing next to her old friends, Akahana and Kagami looked like they had just won the lottery.

"Oh no, what did Etsumi do?"

.

"You know, when Etsumi-buchou said that we would be playing doubles, I had no idea that she meant we would both be playing doubles . . . WITH OTHER PEOPLE," Akahana whined to Kagami who gave her a stern look and motioned with her head to Akahana's doubles partner standing right behind them.

"Oh god, it's not like she even cares what I'm saying," Akahana groaned. "She's just as unhappy as I am right now. Probably more unhappy. Right?" The last part Akahana directed to her doubles partner who just gave her a glare.

"See? If anything, I'm pretty sure she hates me." And with that statement Akahana reluctantly walked towards the court with her partner to get ready for doubles two.

"Don't fuck this up," the other girl said to Akahana once they were standing on the court across from their opponents.

_What the fuck is her name?_ Akahana thought, trying to remember who her doubles partner even was. She was still wondering that when they shook hands with their opponents.

"Smooth or rough?" the other team asked.

"Uh . . . what?" Akahana asked.

"Rough," her partner answered quickly, giving Akahana venom eyes.

Their opponents from Itoguruma gave each other a knowing glance and spun the racket.

"Sorry, it landed on smooth. We'll serve first," one of the opponents said.

As Akahana headed towards the baseline to receive the first serve she couldn't help but feel like this was _wrong_. This match didn't feel right, and it wasn't just because she was forced to play doubles with a partner that she didn't even know the name of.

Akahana tried to make out the two other girls across the court, she was positive that Rikkai had played against this exact team back in middle school, but she couldn't recognize anyone on the Itoguruma tennis team. And for some reason she started to panic. What was she even doing here? Playing on this court that she hadn't stepped on in _years_ with a girl she didn't even know as her partner. What was Etsumi thinking? None of this felt right, and she knew that she didn't belong here at this moment.

But when she glanced up and saw Kagami, Ryouko, and Asa standing next to the fence, she felt her heart slow to a normal speed. Ryouko gave her a thumbs up, and it made Akahana feel like smiling again. Sure, she didn't belong next to this strange regular, but she had her own support group who would pick her up if she started to fall too far.

_Don't choke_, she told herself.

And when the serve came barreling towards her she returned it right down the middle with fire in her veins and victory in her eyes.

.

Surprisingly, Akahana and her partner worked really well together, and so did Kagami and hers. Asa was amazed at how Hanato-senpai was able to keep up with how unpredictable Akahana was. Akahana was just a ball of energy that did as she pleased, and Hanato-senpai matched her toe to toe. Although there was no love lost between the two, their styles worked well together.

When the two had stepped off the court with a score of 6-1, Hanato-senpai had been grumbling something about how they shouldn't have lost even one game. But Akahana-senpai's face was split in a smile so wide she could've blinded the other team with her happiness.

And maybe not so surprisingly Kagami-senpai had won her match too in doubles one. Both Kagami and her partner Isobe were players that relied on the control they had, and somehow that had worked out.

But then it was Asa's turn.

And she wasn't ready.

She remembered how she had looked up to the regulars back when she was a freshman in middle school, and now she was a junior in high school on the same team as them. But she still didn't feel right. They were leagues ahead of her, and somehow she had managed to catch up while they were gone.

"You'll do fine. Why else would Etsumi-buchou make you singles three?" Akahana had said, giving her a slap on the shoulder and one of her infamous grins. And that's what Asa told herself as she panted across from her opponent, the score at 2-1 with Itoguruma in the lead.

_I'm not a regular for nothing_. Pieces of Asa's wild hair sprung from her braid and clung to her face. She bounced the tennis ball two times, and only two before throwing it up into the air and hitting it with her racket. Her opponent returned it not without difficulty, and as a result it hit the net.

_Why else would Etsumi-buchou make me singles three?_ Asa reminded herself.

.

Michiru had never remembered yelling so loudly before, but when Asa won her match, Michiru's voice burst from her lungs in a loud cheer. And all around her were other members of the team and the school that were cheering. Sure it was just prelims, but it was her old friends that won again. It was her _team_ that won again; it was the team she had grown to love back in middle school.

And she was happy, so incredibly happy that they were all on the right path again, but there was something nibbling in her mind.

She _wanted_ to be there too. She wanted to be one of the regulars playing, and if felt like an animal burrowing into her heart.

Nadeshiko stood still next to her, not cheering but not disappointed it seemed. Her face remained blank, but there was a spark of something in her eyes when she saw Rikkai get announced as the winner of the match.

Just as she was forcing her way through the crowd, something caught her eye. The familiar yellow that the Rikkai tennis teams wore flashed like a flag as the people around her parted to let the boys go through. Michiru still tried to make her way through, but Nadeshiko's hand grasped onto her arm with a force that she forgot Nadeshiko even possessed.

"You don't want to get in the middle of that," Nadeshiko warned, her voice low and strained.

"In the middle of what?" Michiru shook off Nadeshiko's hand and headed over to the team until she was near enough to see Yukimura talking to Etsumi.

"Good job on the win," Yukimura said, his tone light.

"Thank you, Yukimura-san," Etsumi replied flatly.

He gave her one of his smiles and his gaze quickly swept the crowd. Once they made a full circuit, the color of his eyes dimmed a bit, and even Michiru could tell that he was disappointed about something.

Kagami, Akahana, and Ryouko stood away from the boys, but the other regulars from the girls team made a beeline for them. While everyone was distracted, Michiru headed towards her friends and tried unsuccessfully to throw her arms around all of them.

"I am so proud of you guys," Michiru said, her voice muffled.

"Thanks, mom," Akahana joked as she pulled away, her eyes moving away from Michiru's face to lock onto Nadeshiko's. "Oh, hey."

Michiru stiffened. Maybe it was a bad idea to bring Nadeshiko. She had no idea what her friends thought of Nadeshiko now, and the rumors about her were well known. Not that Nadeshiko ever seemed to care what anyone said about her unless it was about tennis.

Nadeshiko robotically made her way over to the group and nodded once at everyone.

"What's wrong with you?" Akahana asked before engulfing the girl in a hug of her own. "Why haven't you tried talking to us or anything? If you keep this up, we'll start to think that you hate us."

Nadeshiko's body visibly relaxed, and that was when Michiru knew things would be okay.

Michiru turned around to go talk to Etsumi but met face to face with Marui. The ever present grin was on his face and he blew a green bubble that popped loudly next to her ear.

"Did you see us play?" he asked excitedly.

"Um." Michiru tucked her hair behind her ear and look up at him. He wasn't much taller than her. In fact, he was the shortest member of the team, and somehow, to Michiru, that made him seem more approachable. More friendly. On the courts he radiated a strength that seemed to only be exclusive to Rikkai tennis members, but in person he sent off a different vibe.

He looked at her expectantly, eyebrows raised in question. And for a second Michiru couldn't answer. She had no problem talking to Yagyuu, and she had never tried talking to the other regulars, but she had talked to Marui already this year so it made no sense that she was suddenly mute.

"I'm going to take that as a no," Marui laughed. "Man, I'm really disappointed that we didn't get to see the girls play. It must have been really awesome though, right?"

"They were fantastic," Michiru breathed, looking away from him because for some reason she just couldn't make eye contact.

Had she actually ever had a _real_ conversation with any of them yet this year? She didn't think so, and Yagyuu didn't count because she was always with him for student council.

"Well I knew they would be good, that's already a given," Marui stated.

_Did you really think that?_ Michiru wondered, because if he did it he would be the first person to admit that the old regulars were still good.

Marui stared at her face again, searching for something, and when he couldn't find it he just gave her a smile. "You're really not talkative today, huh?" He blew another bubble and laughed. "Sometimes you just seem to be so outgoing, and then some days you're like this."

"How would you know how I usually act?" Michiru questioned, finally finding her voice.

"Just a vibe that I get from you. A vibe that you've had since middle school. You really haven't changed at all."

_Well neither have you_, she wanted to say, but instead said, "Maybe that's a good thing."

"Maybe." He shrugged one shoulder as if to say _it is what it is _before going back to talk to Jackal.

.

There was the sound of the crowd, rambunctious and animated, reminding her of a giant animal. And here she was, standing on the edge, of not only the crowd but also on the precipice of a mental cliff that she hadn't visited in a long time. _And it hurt_. Like a rib breaking inside of her chest.

She had seen the Rikkai boys team swoop past the mob, and Yukimura parted the seas like Moses. No doubt he was going to congratulate Etsumi on the win, and although it was expected that the girls would win, there was a string of excitement that connected to everyone spectating.

But as everyone got more and more excited, she just felt _ashamed_. Ashamed of how she had been acting recently. Years of building back the strength she had lost snatched away by Yukimura. And sure, she had held her head high when she came back to school, but the looks that people gave her weighed her down until she could only barely manage to crawl to school in the mornings.

_Anorexic_.

She wasn't going to deny it, even though it wasn't entirely true either. That first day when she came back from the hospital, she didn't expect for Yukimura to approach her. His eyes tore at her and stripped her down to her most basic form, and she _hated_ how he could see it.

So she had taken to avoiding him, and his team, and her old team as well. The truth was that as the Kantou tournament approached, she just felt sicker. She was a part of Rikkai by name only, in truth she didn't belong there any more than Atobe from Hyotei would.

And she could tell that she genuinely looked sick, and acted weak, but she couldn't control it. It was a ball of nerves resting inside of her, and when she got agitated it would start to spark and snap at its frizzled ends.

Being at the tennis courts with her team just yards away made her want to stand up again. Want to stand strong again. But how could she come back from the pit she had been residing in? For the past couple of weeks she had faded until she was merely a shade, a shadow that people overlooked because she represented a weakness that others would rather not see. And if she didn't do something soon, she would just sink further into that blackness until one day she wouldn't be able to drag herself up for air.

A girl standing in front of her caught a glimpse of her face and turned around, whispering to some friend.

Of course that would happen, as soon as one person saw her it would spread like wildfire through the crowd until it reached the one pair of ears that she didn't want it to. And he made her knees buckle, he made her breath hitch, he made her gasp for life. But not in a good way. She didn't want him to make her feel like she needed to fight for life beside him. He was a god to the people, but to her he was a personal demon that was the living embodiment of her old dreams and failures.

So she fell. She fell into a dark place, and everyone who saw her could see it. But god she didn't want it to be that way anymore. She wanted to be strong again, but one look from him caused her to freeze up like the Yips had been performed.

She turned and started walking away before he could come and get her. No doubt that he had already heard that she was there, and she honestly didn't know why she came. Was it for her old team? They had such hope in their eyes and she wanted to see it again. It was the same look they all had back in middle school.

"Miu-san."

Shiori froze, heart dangling from her ribcage. She could hear him walk towards her, and when she turned around she was surprised that he had found her. She was far enough away from the tennis courts that she didn't expect for him to chase after her, and no one was with him.

Yukimura's steps were steady as he progressed towards her, and his hand was gentle when he grabbed her arm and forced her to follow him. They stopped at a patch of grass under a tree, and she knew that of course he would bring her somewhere, because if he was going to do anything he wouldn't want anyone to witness it.

"Yukimura-san," Shiori whispered. His name tasted like a cherry, sour and sweet. "What are we doing here?"

He didn't answer at first, just stared at her face until she felt like she was drowning. And there was something _there_. Something she couldn't make out, but his eyes were the brightest thing she had ever seen.

"I'm glad that you made it here today," he breathed, his mouth very close to her face. And once again her knees buckled, her breath hitched, and she let out a gasp for life.

.

When Yukimura caught word from someone near him that Shiori Miu had been watching the match, something inside of him twisted in anticipation.

"Yukimura, don't," Renji mumbled, so quietly that not even Sanada heard it.

"What?" Yukimura asked lightly. "I'm not going to do anything."

Renji shook his head, and anger smouldered in Yukimura's chest. It wasn't often that other people tried to tell him what to do, because at Rikkai, it went without saying that he always knew what was best.

"Excuse me everyone," he had said brightly. "I'll be right back." And of course no one questioned him, he was Yukimura, but as he turned to leave, Niou gave him a look and a smirk as if he knew exactly what was going on.

Yukimura kept his pace steady, he didn't want to alarm anyone. His jacket hung from his shoulders, flapping like a cape. He saw her silhouette, and the first thing he noticed was how slender she still was.

"Miu-san," he called out, and she froze. His lips formed a smirk, only he could give her that reaction, and when she turned around, he saw the pain in her eyes and the weariness in her face.

He led her away from everyone mostly because he wanted to be alone with her, or at least as alone as he could get at a park.

Shiori said something, but Yukimura didn't hear her. There were her eyes, eyes that were grass, eyes that were meadows, eyes that were moss. Her eyes were the color of life, and they were just so _green_.

Shiori shifted uncomfortably and he knew she was waiting for an answer, any kind of answer from him. So he leaned in close to her face and breathed, "I'm glad that you made it here today."

She was drowning and he could hear her gulping for air. Her eyes shifted to the ground and he was thrown back in his body. Yukimura leaned away from her, confused.

Yukimura had simply never taken an interest in other people. He had dated before, but it was just something that was expected of him. So he just didn't _understand_. He didn't understand why he was going out of his way to find this girl. This girl who was a shade. This girl who wasn't a winner. This girl who was sick.

"Yukimura-san, please let go of me," Shiori murmured.

He hadn't even notice that he was holding on to her shoulders, but her knees were shaking so much that he swore she would fall if he let go. Maybe she would collapse in his arms again. He had never held a girl like that before.

Shiori exhaled and he could feel a restlessness in her bones, a need to get away from him, and his hands gripped tighter. Her face was so close he can clearly see the small birthmark under her left eye. Her cheeks were pink and her lips were a rosebud that he would like to taste someday, but right now he could only see how green green green her eyes are.

He could see her drowning in his own eyes. He could see her sucking in air like her life depended on it. He could see her drowning in his blueness, and he wanted her to drown. He wanted to draw a picture of her at this moment and hang it on his fridge.

But what she didn't realize was that he was drowning too. He was drowning in the green of her eyes.

.

"That was so great!" Ryouko gushed. She, Kagami, Akahana, and Asa were sitting in Etsumi's living room, a feast of snacks sat before them in various bowls on the coffee table.

"It sucks that you couldn't play though," Akahana said. She grabbed a handful of peanut M&Ms and threw one up into the air, trying to catch it with her mouth.

"Ow!" Ryouko laughed as the M&M flew into her eye. "Watch it Akahana!"

"Oh, I was watching it. I just purposely threw that into your eye."

Ryouko pushed Akahana into Asa who shrieked as the popcorn bowl she was holding got dumped into her lap.

"Ohhhh, Etsumi is going to be so mad at you!" Akahana exclaimed, pointing an accusing finger at Ryouko.

"Come on, you guys," Kagami sighed. "We should probably at least _attempt_ to clean this up before Etsumi comes back from the store." Even though Kagami had a stern look on her face, her eyes glittered behind her glasses with laughter.

"You know, don't make me come over there with these peanut M&Ms," Akahana jokingly threatened. "You may have eye protection, but trust me, my aim is spot on and I will hit your cornea if I have to."

"Well you can try, but just so _you_ know, I happen to be a master at dodging peanut M&Ms. I've been training in the art for the past four years." Kagami pushed her glasses up, challenging Akahana who raised her eyebrows and burst out laughing, scattering the M&Ms all over the floor.

"God Akahana, why don't you just make a bigger mess?" Ryouko teased.

"Well, I'm not god, but I appreciate you worshiping me. In fact, why doesn't everyone just worship me? I'd make the best damn goddess."

"Akahana-senpai," Asa piped in, "if you happen to be a goddess, do you think you can make this mess disappear?"

"Haha, nice try. I am not going to be the one to clean this up."

"Not to be disrespectful, but you are the one who made the mess, technically. You dropped the M&Ms and then you made me drop the popcorn."

"Well I am feeling _incredibly_ disrespected." Akahana stuck her tongue out at Asa who giggled at her senpai. "Also, it was Ryouko who pushed me into you and made you drop your popcorn! So it's not _entirely_ my fault."

"They key word here is _entirely_," Kagami stated, an eyebrow raised at her pink-haired friend.

"I guess I can't be perfect. Even a goddess can make a mess every once in a while."

"Oh Ghandi, please don't tell me you're going to be referring to yourself as a goddess from now on," Ryouko groaned, falling back onto the couch.

"'Oh Ghandi'? Really?" Akahana snickered. "And what if I do? I know I'm a goddess, you know I'm a goddess. There's really nothing else to say." Akahana shrugged her shoulders casually, giving her friends her most wicked smile.

"For your information, Ghandi happens to be a pretty cool dude," Ryouko huffed, crossing her arms across her chest.

"I'm with Ryouko-senpai on this one," Asa said.

"If all of you are going to be gaga for Ghandi, then who is going to worship _me_?"

"Probably no one. No one wants to worship you," Kagami stated.

"Oh, that burrrrnnnnsss, Kagami. I thought you were my best friend." Akahana shifted until her head rested on Kagami's shoulder. She looked up at the bespectacled girl with puppy dog eyes and a pout to match.

"Sorry, that doesn't work on me. I'm immune, remember?"

"Ugh fine!" Akahana threw her hands up in the air in defeat. She turned her head to Asa, and a grin settled over her face. "What about you, Asa? Will you worship your senpai?"

"Sorry, senpai. I don't think I can." Asa gave Akahana a semi-apologetic look, but her teeth baring grin ruined any semblance of remorse that she was showing.

"No one loves me!" Akahana fake-cried. She grabbed a throw pillow from Etsumi's couch and shoved her face into it, fake sobs wracking her body. Pieces of popcorn had gotten stuck in her hair, and the entire scene was too comical for Ryouko who burst out in laughter herself.

"What?" Akahana hissed. "Can't you see that I'm in pain over here because no one loves me?"

"There's a lot of popcorn stuck in your hair," Kagami pointed out.

Akahana grabbed the bottom of her ponytail and pulled it forward to observe the mess that was tangled in her pink locks. Her mouth turned down and she made an ugly face as she saw the damage.

"I told you we should have cleaned it up earlier, senpai," Asa said behind her fingers, trying to hold back laughter at that point.

"You know what? I'm not that bothered by it," Akahana huffed, standing up and walking to stand directly in front of her friends. Her hands defiantly grabbed onto her hips as she looked down at everyone sitting on the couch. "I'm going to become a new style icon, and watch, soon, everyone is going to be walking around with popcorn in their hair because it's fashionable."

At that moment the girls heard the doorknob rattle, and Akahana dived to the ground to hurriedly pick up the M&Ms she had dropped.

"Shit! It's Etsumi!" she whispered as if Etsumi could hear her through the walls.

Etsumi entered and her face registered shock as she took in the mess and Akahana sprawled on the ground, food stuck in her ponytail. "I don't even want to know," Etsumi said, her eyebrows still raised in astonishment.

"Sorry?" Akahana said, phrasing it like a question.

Silence permeated the air once the girls saw who came through the door after Etsumi.

Shiori stood there staring back at her old friends, her head held high, but her body shaking.

"I ran into Shiori on the way back," Etsumi said, breaking the silence. "She wanted to hang out with us."

Shiori gave a deep sigh before saying, "I want you guys to teach me how to okay again."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **So once again, I'm going to ask for TWO review before I update again. It should be a little sooner especially since I've kind of figured out college. Haha.

I do not own "Salt" by Bad suns.

Also I'm honestly thinking that there won't be Shiori/Yukimura moments for a while after this, what do you guys think?


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